So Wednesday evening (the day after our court date), my husband typed up a letter to BM explaining that he wanted to change the drop-off/pick-up place to a half-way place between our homes. Currently, we're driving 25 minutes to the parking lot across from BM's boyfriend's apartment, while BM walks across the street. The place he picked is maybe between 5-10 minutes from where we currently meet, however, it is closer to us & more convenient. He chose this location based on Google maps, so it is a very fair choice, almost perfectly in between our homes. He then emailed a copy of this letter to BM that night because he was afraid that if he only mailed it, BM would claim not to have gotten it or avoided signing for it if we sent it certified mail (it took her a week to sign for the court paperwork last time).

Well, surprise, surprise! BM sent my husband a LONG email the next day, rejecting the new location. She accused him of trying to "inconvenience" her!!! (I am still in shock over that statement.) She is the one that moved 45 minutes away, secretly registered SD9 at a new school without consulting my husband (who has equal rights to SD9) & now fully expects us to continue to do all the driving if we want to continue to see SD9. How is this even allowed to happen?! This woman is INSANE. We have no option here. It's either give up SD9 & do whatever BM wants forever & ever OR go to court. And obviously we're not giving up SD9 OR doing whatever BM wants.

Any suggestions on what to do until we go to court? The judge warned us it could be months from now. So until then, the only option we see is to continue to do all the driving to get SD9. I realize it's only 4 times a month, but still it's the principle. Do you have any idea how infuriating it is to watch BM waddle her fat ass across the street, looking oh-so smug because she doesn't have to do a damn thing?! I really want to punch the living crap out of her!!! How can a person be so nasty? Especially when the only thing my husband ever did "wrong" was to stand up to BM & start telling her NO. That's it. For 6 years, he was a saint dealing with BM. He took care of her other daughter, who isn't even his. Of course, BM has conveniently forgotten that! She's forgotten all the favors he's done for her, all the free baby-sitting he did for her, all the money he spent on both of the kids -- even if it meant that he suffered & went without stuff. Meanwhile, BM was living it up...boozing it up, partying, going on trips to other countries...do you see why I'm so flabbergasted by all of this?!

We'll be sending a copy of the letter to the judge, so that it's on file. Let the judge ask BM why she wouldn't meet half-way. I'd like to hear her explanation & then be able to discredit it! BM still wants my husband to drive to SD9's school on Fridays to pick her up & then to come to our house on Sunday to pick her up. We will not agree to this & I hope the judge does not order us to do this. Here are our reasons: #1, my husband will have to drive 30 minutes one-way on Fridays. The drive there can be treacherous in the winter & I will worry constantly about him driving out there. (His vehicle is not the best, either.) #2, I do not want BM coming to our house. She is not welcome there after all she's done to us. I do not want her anywhere near our house, our animals or our future children. Period. And guaranteed, BM will always be late picking up SD9. This is the precedent she set in the past. And I'm not talking about 5 or 10 minutes, either. Usually a minimum of 30 minutes, but sometimes HOURS. It's like a control game she plays. We have to wait on her to show up, so our lives are on hold. This is why BM does not want to meet half-way...because she has to be someone on time. If the judge does ever order this arrangement, my husband will sit at the end of our road with SD9 & wait for BM. If she's late, then SD9 will know it. Another reason for this is that I doubt BM's car will even make it up our driveway in the winter.

BM also said in the email that my husband should seriously consider listening to what the judge suggested about them sitting down face to face to talk this over. Yes, the judge said that because he was trying to get the point across that if they can't work this out on their own, he would decide what to do & neither of them would probably like it. But honestly, how do we work this out with BM without going to court? They've gone to mediation 3 times & BM was beyond difficult. My husband tried to work with her, but she wanted what she wanted: sole custody of SD9. Period. BM has been completely nasty to him...calling him at work & yelling at him, sending threatening emails, leaving nasty messages on our voicemail. All because he won't just give her what she wants.

BM only wants to meet face to face because she knows there won't be any record of what she says. I bet if we told her we're taping the conversation she would change her mind about meeting. BM wants to meet face to face so that she can further threaten us. I can guarantee that BM will give us one option: give up SD9 or we're going to court. Well, then can't we just skip having to look at her & talk to her?!

Sorry for the long rant, but I'm out of ideas. I guess we do what we have to until the court date. Any ideas on things I can do to mess with BM without getting in trouble? }:)