My husbands ex fom HELL!!!!!!!
OMG!!!! I could not believe what I was reading. I am going through the same issues with my husband's ex. She has lied so many times, I have lost count, she has even tried to have CPS come to my home. She has try beating me up while I was 8 months pregnant with my baby girl in front of their child (my stepdaughter). Both me & my SD get along great (if mother is not around), I love my SD as if she were my own. I have tried so many times to be "civil" with my husbands ex, but it just won't happen. I truly feel that things will never get better. She has lied to the courts saying that my husband "owes" back pay child support/child care. She even made fake receipts from her family saying that she pays $400.00 a month for child care, when the child is in school from 8am-2pm & mother gets out of work at 2:30pm. Luckily my husband saves EVERYTHING, so they were ordered to see a special masters & prove their case, long story short, my husband won the case. The special masters said that all receipts seem to have been drafted at the same time, for cash, in the same pen & numbered sequentially...THAT DUMB ASS B****!!!!!!!!! I can go on & on about the things that she does to TRY & break us up. She uses my SD, she makes my SD lie, saying that I am mean to her & that she (my SD) want's "alone time" only with my husband & not me around. We all know that my husbands ex is the one that is making my SD say these things. As I have said before me & my SD have a great relationship, if I need to leave the house, she's asking to come with me. If we are at family functions & my SD is sleepy she comes to me asking to lay on my lap. Now, if I were "hurting" my SD, why would she aways want to be around me, this what I can't believe. I hate that this does take its tole on my relationship, I sometimes feel that I can't do this anymore. I love my husband dearly, we have a great relationship, other then dealing with his ex & her lies. I feel that if I were to walk away, she wins because that is what she has always wanted. She is married again, in fact the man that she cheated on my husband is now her husband. She is the kind of person that needs a man in her life, she can't just be with one man, she needs many!!! It's just so sad that my SD has seen so much in her 8 years of life, and the mother does not realize that the only one she is truly hurting is my SD. So, with just SOME of what I deal with, can anyone give me advise??? Thank you!!!!!
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Thanks!! I am so happy that
Thanks!! I am so happy that I am able to share my DRAMA with people that understand me.
I have the same feelings on
I have the same feelings on a daily basis. BM totally consumes my brain and I cant get her out. I am new to this as well, and only advice take one day at a time. Try thinkin of bm as pathetic. It seems to be a fitting word for most bms. They all suck !
Yeah, that's what we do, one
Yeah, that's what we do, one day at a time. I guess that's what kills her, the fact me & my husband are still together. Thanks for listening, this is great!!
Sounds to me she is very
Sounds to me she is very insecure. I don't think she actually wants your DH back, but it doesn't appear she wants him to be happy with anyone else. She knows by getting to you, getting you angry or upset constantly will drive a wedge into you and Dh's marriage.
How do you know that she does or says all of these things? The reason I ask is that however your getting your information about her actions, it would be beneficial to your happiness and your relationship with your DH if you would cut the source of the information. If it is things you witness, then disengage from dealing with issues regarding her, let your DH deal with her, it's his problem, not yours. If DH is telling you these things, just simply tell him that you love him, but you ask that he keep things like this to himself.
She is trying to get a rise out of you, and it's working. If you are ignorant to her behavior, then there is nothing there to get you upset.
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“Unless commitment is made, there are only promises and hopes; but no plans.”
I am in a similar situation.
I am in a similar situation. I am also happily married, and my Husband has a 10 year old Daughter. She stays with us off and on because she feels like she will betray her mom. I have to agree with MiddleMom and say for you to back off and let them deal with the situation. I feel like you and I can connect and get advise from eachother since we are going through the same thing.
How long have you been married? I think you and I can become friends on here since I swear I feel like no one understands. When I heard about this website through a friend I felt like my prayers were answered and I was able to reach out to people who understand. Good luck!!
I have been married for
I have been married for almost five years. I have tried so many times to be civil with BM, but if one thing doesn't go her way she starts right back up. My SD also, feels that same as yours, she feels that shes betraying her mother if she spends time with us. It's so bad at times that this B**** has called CPS, thankfully the truth came out, but the fact that my two daughters (from first marriage)had to also deal with her crap, it kills me!!! I sometimes feel that she is NEVER going to understand that me & my husband have a happy life together. When she found out that I was having baby, things got even worse for my husband. The sad thing about all this is that she is married & her husband doesn't say anything about her actions, mind you this is the man that she cheated on my husband with. They also have a son together too.
When their son was born he had some kind of brain disorder & when he turned 10 month's he became comatose. So, at that time I was 8 month's pregnant with our daughter. I guess she was still upset that we were having a child, she attacked me in front of my SD. She kicked me twice saying "I hope your baby dies". I got a TRO & one week later almost to the day I get a call from BM, turns out that is when her son fell into coma. She was begging for my forgiveness, She said "I am sorry for what I said, wishing death on your unborn baby". At that time I feel so sorry that any mother should have to go through that. I forgave her & we were "CIVIL" for about 1 month. Till this day her son is still in coma, he's now 4 years old.
I sometimes feel that I have no heart anymore because I just don't feel bad, sad or hurt for her. I know that sounds so horrible, but that is how she made me towards her. She never had no right to ever hate me, I didn't come in between their marriage, I wasn't "the other woman". My husband left her after he found out that she was cheating again. I meet him after all their drama. I just hate the fact that this can happen, the fact that all these children are the ones that are in the middle of all this. I really hope that we can become friends too. So where are you from?? Please tell me a little bit more about your situation. Hope to here from you soon!
Hello lady..... I have a
Hello lady..... I have a somewhat similar BM. Not the assault part but the lies and all. It is a shame some folks put their kids in the middle of their in-ability to be mature and lady-like. It is a dang shame.
The only thing that works for me is to not engage BM on any level. I don't let her see me sweat - when i am around her I am confident and hold my head up and smile. I know she hates me - but i refuse to even let her think for one moment that it is important.
My DH and I rarely discuss her anymore and I don't allow her space (emotionally) in my marriage any more. I take it one day at a time. AND to be honest - I feel like i was not involved with them when they had their issues together and split... I came along 6 years later - and i am not going to let her drag me into her bull.
She is a deranged hateful person at times and I am not about to get deeply involved with that. I have enough issues of my own with being a mom, stepmom and keeping my life straight.
********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************
I am originally from San
I am originally from San Diego, CA, but recently moved to Temecula, CA. I have 3 kids, 2 girls and one boy and a great Stepdaughter who is 10. Life is great except we every now and then hit a bump in the road, also known as "the ex". I have for the most part learned to be civil with his ex, and we only speak when needed. For a while we couldn't get along, but you come to realize that the only ones that suffer are the kids so I learned to let go of the issues we had.
Congrats on the long, well kind of long marriage. What does your husband seem to think about the situation? Sounds like to me you are trying to fight his battles, and trust me from experience that is never going to work, only makes it worse. How does your husband know she was cheating, did he catch her? How many kids do you and your husband have? Do all 3 of your kids also live with you? If they do I can imagine.....my house is like a mad house with them running all over creating unnecessary mess.
My only advise as far as thbis situation is to tell you to try your hardest to make it work out. You allowed yourself to be caught in the middle when you should of let them deal with their own Drama. You can love your stepdaughter without getting in the middle of your husband and his ex. Try it out and see if it works for you...