Personal responsibility anyone?
Fifthwheel's blog got me thinking. What ever happened to PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY?
Responsibility:
1 : the quality or state of being responsible: as a : moral, legal, or mental accountability b : reliability, trustworthiness
Why don't people take responsibility for what is theirs, for themselves, for their own well-being, for their own outcome in life, for whatever? BMs (and some DHs) would rather have SM's take the responsibility for THEIR kids, their financial status, their health and stress levels. What ever happened to everyone being responsible for themselves? Believe me, if I ever end up divorced, I would NEVER put the safety and security of MY child in someone else's hands. I wouldn't have the attitude of "DH, you owe me so support me for the rest of my life" or "I lost my job, gimme money". I would never use CS for myself to sit in a bar and drink myself into a stupor while my kids went hungry. "New wife/gf, here, you take my kids and raise them." What has happened to society and the complete lack of responsibility? It's the same for welfare (I know I'll get some backlashing for this one). The system was designed during the depression to help feed the unemployed until they could find work and get back on their own two feet again. Now, it's more of a lifestyle for SO many people. Why would someone choose to live in poverty and off the backs of hard-working people who pay their taxes instead of just getting up, getting a job and THRIVING? I just don't get it.
Thanks my rant for the day...
- stepoff's blog
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Comments
Don't have an answer but I
Don't have an answer but I feel your frustration!
My MIL made a similar observation when she was feeling extra disgusted by BM one day. In her generation, a woman would work two jobs if you had to in order to take care of your children. She didn't have the option of daycare, and wouldn't have considered anyone taking care of her child but herself. Nowadays people seem to have no problem having children and placing the responsibility for them with someone else. For a lot of women and men, it's acceptable to put yourself first. Responsibilities fit in whenever and wherever it suits them.
Because the courts have set
Because the courts have set a precedence for the golden uterus.
As I have always taught my own BK
When you subsidize poverty and failure, you get more of both.
Because it's easier to pass
Because it's easier to pass the buck. It's easy to make decisions, realize they were the wrong ones and just pass off the consequences to someone else. Beleive me, as a step mom I would know. My SK BM never worked...EVER she works for a few weeks then quits. Long LONG story short...she abandoned my SK...no phone number, no email address no address. She has not phoned her children in months, she refuses to call and pretty much fell off the face of the earth. So, because me and my DH are just getting on our feet and cound not take care of children right now my MIL has the children and the CS is going to her instead of BM and regular visits still take place ( as my DH and his mom live 3 hours away ). Once things are up and going full bore, we will have the kids fulls time. Not looking forward to it as I can handle them in portions, but full time.No. Anyways..yeah..some people are losers thats why.
Purpleflower
I also blame the
I also blame the pharmaceutical companies. Lets not forget how easy it is to slap label on someone now and throw some medication at them instead of actually providing parental guidance. That would require way too much work. Much easier to blame unruly behavior on a condition instead of a parent shirking their responsibility. (Not referring to those who genuinely have behavioral disorders that are corrected with medication. Referring to parents who use this as a convenient way out of parenting)
HA~ Personal responsibility?
HA~ Personal responsibility? What's that???
BM has been living off of the state and her dad for 4 of the 5 years I have known her. Nothing is EVER her fault, and it never will be. I have given up on trying to explain to her that the world has better things to do, than to be "out to get her". It is sad how easy it is for people to BLAME everyone one around them for their issues. Maybe it, in THEIR mind (warped as they are) justifies them living off the system for such LONG periods of time. Like "why shouldn't SM TAXPAYER pay me way in life? It's HER fault I am in this situation to begin with?"...
That's my take on it anyways... what do I know, I just WORK for a living!!
DISbelief~
~You have to BE crazy to UNDERSTAND crazy!~
DIS - We had the same
DIS - We had the same BM!
"BM has been living off of the state and her dad for 4 of the 5 years I have known her."
This fit the BM in my case to a "T" for the first 3 years I knew her. We got custody of the skids (and took away her CS paycheck) and lo-and-behold she got a JOB! Like a real job, not just the 10 hours a week at a convenience store so she could collect the earned income credit on her taxes.
Oh and it seems that daddykins cut her off a bit too. She mentioned to DH that she no longer has the money to fight our having custody. Guess that means daddy's not paying for her lawyer anymore. HA!
Personal responsibility.
Personal responsibility. Hahaha!!! SS9 lives with us full time, DH has sole custody with vistitation as DH sees fit. If I were BM, I would be totally embarrassed. Its one thing if you can't take care of a child and give them up so they will have a better life, but its another to give up on a child so you can party all of the time.
Why should they be
Why should they be responsible when there are numerous people enabling them to be irresponsible?
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
Laziness. If no one is
Laziness. If no one is there to hold people accountable, apparently they go to sh*t.
Not everyone, of course.
Also, taking responsibility means that they have to admit they were wrong in some way, and people just do NOT like to admit that. Making blame sandwiches is great until there's no one left to eat them but yourself....
"To us, family means putting your arms around each other and being there." ~Barbara Bush