I would maybe talk to her about your situation. For her birthday, explain that things have been tough and that you wish you could do more for her. Maybe take her to dinner (not an expensive one)and a movie....hopefully she'd be understanding!! Maybe things will change financially for you by Christmas. If not, just buy her one gift....I know it's hard to know what to do. You don't want her to feel slighted, but in these times, you have to make wise decisions.

*****
katherz
~~Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in, forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day, you shall begin it well and serenely ~~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Talk to your DH about it and explaine why and how you cannot afford anything. Tell him the most you can come up with is $20.00 and a card.

If the money isn't there, it's just not there. DH should certainly be able to understand that with his being out of work, sacrifices are going to have to be made. Your SD is 17, which is old enough to be able to understand this as well. I think you should make the most out of the holidays, without putting yourselves in financial jeopardy. That would be irresponsible. I like what Katherz said, but I think the conversation should be had with DH first. He may not even be expecting you to spend a lot of money. If he's being irrational, and wanting to treat his daughter even though you clearly can't afford to, then you'll have to deal with that bridge when you get there. Hopefully, he can be reasonable though.

Others may disagree but... IMO, First, DH should know your financial situation so... I, as SM, wouldn't be saying a word to SD personally. I would talk to DH and let him decide (or better yet, decide together) what to do for SD but, DH should be the one presenting a gift (or not) and doing any explaining, if the need arises (he can still say 'WE' are broke!) but the owness should not be on you to say "sorry, we can't get you a gift". Dad should do that. This should keep YOU from being the bad guy.

I would let DH handle it. He's the one out of work and it's his child. You should not have to be the bad guy. Times are tough, it's nobody's fault but you are already supporting the household. No need to get into debt because of a 17 year old who could have a job if they want to buy stuff.

If he is your husband, it's your duty to support him...not your duty to support his children. It is the duty of the bio mom and dad to support their own children. He's not working, too bad...believe me, if you weren't working, BM wouldn't be paying for your kids to have anything...