Dec 2nd, 2009

Recently we found out BFs close friend of the family passed away on Thanksgiving. The funeral is this Saturday, we will be heading out to Cali on Friday after work.. staying saturday and leaving early in the morning sunday, where I will go to work as usual at 11. BF has the day off. SD17 will go to work at 4. That means we have very little time for us to get "prepared." And I am sorry to say this, but the skids don't choose to wear nice clothes. BF tries to save money alot by shopping on the clearance racks at stores. SD14 only wears her three shirts over and over and over again. SS11 has ripped holes in all his jeans and he has these pants that I can't stand... they are those joggers pants, not the ones that make that swish swish noise when you walk, but the ones that have the strip down the side and are made of some sort of mesh... idk... anyway.
The skids also don't have anything to wear to a funeral. So I get off of work, I text SS11 that I will be home soon and we will need to go to the store for him to be ready. He replies, I'm going with my mom. I said Why? He calls me, he explains that it is her day to have them.
I can hear people in the background and I ask who is there. He says I am at my friends house. Basically he at his friends house who was the one who set the fire at his birthday party, along with my SS. I tell him that he is not suppose to be there, that he asked his dad and his dad said no because I needed to get him a suit. But I guess since it was "his moms day" he decided he was going to call her and ask her and of course she said yes, you can walk from school to your friends house.
Just last year he had to have a signed letter from me or his dad or his mom for him NOT to take the bus home. Now suddenly, he can just not take it and there are no questions asked??
He is still only in fifth grade.

Now he tells me on the phone that his mom is on her way right then to come get him. I say its not your moms day. I did not know about this, and neither did your dad. He says it does not matter because it is her day. So I say well, I'll call your dad and see what he has to say about this.
I call him. First words out of my mouth are, "Okay, I'm upset." I brace him and explain to him that its nearly five oclock and she has not even picked him up yet for "her day". That means that he has been alone with no supervision at his friends house for almost two hours. (all this while I'm driving) He tells me he will call and see what is going on. He tells me to go get pick him up.
So I turn around, I was nearly home and I get to the apartment and I knock on the door. I can hear SS11 Yell, "YEEAA!! MY Mommy's here!!" and his friends older brother (that I seriously dislike because in Wal-mart he was yelling the words nipple and boners through the store) opens the door and Says "OH. Its *my name here*" Yes, I'm the party pooper and I'm here to spoil all your fun, I wanted to say, but I bit my tongue.
SS11 immediately starts crying, he tells me his mom is on her way RIGHT NOW!! He can't leave with me, his mom is on her WAY!! I explain to him that he said the same thing fifteen minutes ago when I talked to him on the phone and that it only takes two minutes to get from her work (where she supposively was just leaving) to the apartment where SS11 was. I promised him that his mom was not coming. He continues to argue with me. I start to get more and more upset as the three children at the apartment complex watch me through the halfway closed door. I told him that he was not suppose to be over here to begin with, he never got permission!! He argued his mom said it was okay. All this while he is dragging his backpack, tears rolling down his little cheeks, and trying to call his mom all at the same time, as we walk to the car.
I felt a little guilty, and sad at the same time that he was not as excited to see me as he was to see his mom. And of course, I explained to him that his mom should have him on her days off... not when he has to be alone for two-three hours before she gets off work. That's the whole point, he is already alone for almost an hour alone until I get home from work... didn't used to be like that until this last week when SD14 started her basketball.

I start driving, and he is talking to his mom. I can hear everything she is saying because she is so loud. It sounds like she is yelling through the phone. She says she will see him another day, and keeps asking if I am around him.
He gets another call, his dad. His dad tells him he is grounded (OHMYGAWSH!!!!) for the stunt that he pulled. That he knew he was not suppose to be going over there.
So we end up going to Wal-mart. SS11 will not even walk by me. He stomps over to get his hair cut. We pick out a cute little suit for him that we both agree on. We buy him new dress shoes. But the experience is ruined because he is mad. He is mad that he did not get to see his mommy...
It had crossed my mind earlier that day that if she wanted to see him she would have to buy the shoes and the outfit and I knew the response would be NO from her. So that way it would have been her fault that she could not see him.

Basically, he was upset the entire time and the fun day picking out a cute suit was ruined.... We really needed to do it that day. Because I knew if we waited one more day there would be nothing that fit him and we would be screwed.

Of course BM got off scott free. There is still no communication about the days she will have the kids. And I have been trying to give up that control aspect of my life that makes me think that I MUST KNOW. Because when I just "roll" with the flow things are much better. But then the controlling part of my personality comes out again and I need to know what time, when, where, who....
OH well.