Have not posted a blog in a long time. I have for a long while been semi disengaged in my relationship with SD6. I have been a spectator, watching things unfold, making silent bets on terrible outcomes. This worked for me, as far as my stress levels. I looking back now realize that I started this when I decided to cut BM out of my life.

Well this past weekend I was faced with a situation, the moment SD walked in the door she was a crying mess. Wanted to go home. She cried & begged DH, he just sort of brushed her off. I stayed out of it.......until she came to me. I under any other circumstances have no time for whining, crying to get attention. I truly cant stand it. This time I REALLY looked at her, I saw a distraught child. I felt guilt, not for causing it directly but for watching over the past year or so it happening & doing nothing because its not my "mess" or my problem. A lost distraught child on the street is not my problem either, but I know I would comfort and help that child. I just couldnt walk away.

So I told SD that everything would be fine, I will speak to her Daddy.
I spoke to DH & said if I talk to her he has to agree when I am done if she still wants to go home he must let her. He said fine.

I took her in a seperate room & we talked.....I KNOW I overstepped in a huge way with the things I said. I KNOW her mother would & probably will go ape shit. This is how it went.

ME: I talked to your Dad & he said if you really want to go home early you can, but I need to talk to you first okay?
SD: Okay (smiles)
ME: So why do you want to go home so badly?
SD: I a scared to sleep here.
ME: Why?
SD: I sleep with my Mommy & I cant do that here.
ME: Oh I see. Do you go to friends to sleepover? (I already knew she does)
SD: Yes.
ME: Does your Mommy come to your sleepovers?
SD: No.
ME: So thats not really the reason is it?
SD: Well I dont like being here you have too many other kids.
ME: Really? You dont like having lots of sisters?
SD: Ummmmm I like being an only child.
ME: Why is that?
SD: I dunno.
ME: Do you like having a Daddy?
SD: uuuugh....yeah.
ME: You know your Mommy has a sister, I bet she is glad she does. In fact I think she loves you so much even if she doesnt say it she wishes you to have sisters. Do you think she would want you to have what she has?
SD: Yes
ME: You know family is forever, you will always have your family. I think it would be really sad for you not to have sisters. I know they would be sad if you decided not to come over. What do you think?
SD: I would miss them.
SM: So its kinda cool you have the best of both worlds, you can be an only child at Mommys and have a big family here. You know you never have to choose, you can always have both. Anyone tells you any different then that is wrong. You have the right to love both houses & people in them.
SD: Mommy says Daddy only picks me up because the big boss makes him.
ME: Who is the big boss?
SD: I dont know.
ME: Your Mommy is confused, Daddy doesnt have to pick you up. He picks you up because he loves you and wants to. If he didnt want you here he would not pick you up. You can count on one thing I will never lie to you. So what do you want to do?
SD: I will think about it, can I go play now?
ME: Of course.

She stayed the weekend and didnt mention going home again. She was really good, I mean REALLY good so on Sunday I took all the girls out for manicures.

I dont know how I feel about what I did. I know I put ideas in her head & sort of spoke against her Mother, I really didnt have a plan as it was an unexpected conversation. I am sure BM will know about it as she always questions SD's visits. In a perfect world DH should have had the convo, but he is just not into communication. Anything that involves emotions & crying sends him racing for the hills.

Good grief I WAS the opposite of an overstepper WTH have I done?