New here...but fed up...advice plz

Hey ive only just got round to setting up an account but have been reading some of the blogs on here for a while now and can really relate to a lot of things people say. Been with my bf for 2yrs now and he's got a 5yr old daughter from previous relationship...(his ex had 2 kids when he met her and she tricked him into having a baby...she told him she couldnt have anymore kids...she then got pregnant and has also had 2 more kids since with a diff guy!!)

Shes a lovely little girl and at the beginning everything went really well, better than expected to be honest. But as shes got a bit older she is getting more and more like her mum everyday- swearing a bit, attitude, saying her mum hates me etc etc. (her mum has 5kids, 3 baby dads, married twice, divorced once, lives off benefits and just generally always causes trouble!)

In the last 6 months things have got really bad with my bf when she comes to stay. He sees her every other weekend and lately there seems to be an argument EVERY TIME, yet when shes not there we literally never argue.

I admit that when she comes round I do play a part in the arguments. Although I know its wrong I feel jealous of her relationship with my bf because 1)he has a child with another woman which breaks my heart and 2)because he works 6 days a week normally so the only time i really get to see him is on sundays and every other sunday his daughter is there. I love my bf to bits and deep down i love his little girl too, we get on really well but the whole situation is making me bitter. I dont want to feel this way but cant seem to shake it off when shes here.It also doesnt help the way my bf's ex is...shes always demanding more money even though bf provides for child through CSA and also buys her school uniform, clothes etc, she doesnt take care of her children properly- the little girl has got a bad case of headlice and she doesnt bother to treat it so Ive caught them a couple of times and generally she wants everything on her terms and likes to cause trouble between me and my bf.

Any advice plz x

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Your BF needs to realize that

Your BF needs to realize that BM is playing him.. If he pays CS and all that you say that is enough. Our BM once cornered DH and demanded more money above CS and alimony thank God he had the balls to tell her NO. We as a couple have done more for his kids than their own mother ever would... Notice I said WOULD.. I bought all of the kids clothes as our BM would not.. She preferred to dress them from Good Will or hand me downs... She refused to buy them new cloths with CS so I bought them myself.. A lot of the SM here have the same jealousy issue with the SKids maybe because I am older I did not have that problem, but I can in some ways understand it..I can only tell you that it will get better as the Skids get older at least for me it did.

Hugs

I don't have any real advice.

I don't have any real advice. This is how its going to be. This is it. BF has a child with another woman, it sucks, but it is what it is. You have to get past that. BF needs to make time for you as well as his child. Have you talked to him about making time for you? Is there any way he could cut back a day at work?

Thanks guys...i know i need

Thanks guys...i know i need to accept it but its easier said than done! When his daughter is around its almost like i cant think properly so act completely different to how i do most of the time.

Hmmm i know what you're saying about things might get easier when she gets older but 2 things make me question whether that will actually happen:
1) Obviously her mum has a big influence over her...swears in front of her, talks about money 24/7, cigarettes etc. I really hope she doesnt turn into her mother!!
2)I dont want to cling onto the idea that things will get better in the future because they might not. I know I need to learn to accept and deal with things the way they are now and if things do improve when shes older then its a bonus.

I love my partner but this whole situation is turning me into someone i dont like...im bitter all the time shes here, jealous and then out of anger i end up taking it out on my bf saying hes a bad dad for leaving his child in the first place...i know its wrong but like i said when shes here i cant think properly.

Another issue we disagree on is parenting techniques. I know that how he parents his child is at the end of the day up to him but there's certain things i just cant stand to watch...he has no problem letting her have a whole packet of biscuits if thats what she wants, carries her everywhere etc. Urghhh lol!!!

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