Major life regrets...vent...
I am a sahm homeschooling my autistic 9yr old. My old job I lost after 19yrs partly because it was impossible to find someone to take care of my son that I could afford in the summer, even if he was in school...I supported our household for over about 10yrs thanks to the crappy bagagge my DH brought into this relationship. I was truly ready to walk out when I found out I was pregnant....for over 15yrs I was told I could not have kids, so it was a miracle...I love my son dearly and have stayed because I know the importance if growing up w/a daddy...and my DH is truly a good person and does anything he can to make me and our son happy...BUT it's not enough...the nightmare his ex-life and family have caused us is truly too much to bear...All my life we lived ok, if not pretty well...and because of this witch and his crappy daughter I have lost it all so they can have a good life...I am so freaking sick of it! Who knows when that prego loser will graduate? It feels like never since she keeps failing...I look back so many times and think "I put up w/the worst, just hang in there and you are more than half-way there..." but the stress just gets worse, the time just gets longer, the witch just keeps failing, my DH does less to "rock the boat" so that he doesn't have to go to court again or see the exwitch again...and yet we do without...and we hope and we wait...while i literrally feel my soul is torn...any second of happinesz lasts just a second and then the stress gets worse. I am home to homeschool my kiddo, instead I have turned into a maid! My old job took me to Argentina, Sungapore, Japan, Chile, etc...now my life is cleaning and being stuck in a tiny rented apt every day! The highlight of my day is going to walmart at night!
I wish i would hace walked years ago...and the hate that i feel for all those who have made my life miserable gets worse everyday...
My DHs freaking mother refused a letrero for me that i have been waiting for over 2mos! Just because! I want to call that b}>>ch and tell her off! I was waiting to once again take money out of retirement to get a car...and now we aré again waiting and sc(/;ed because of her!
Sorry so long, just feel at the end of my rope..
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Wow. Not that I feel its my
Wow. Not that I feel its my place to suggest anyone end a relationship, but this seems like pretty intense misery...I don't know how long I would be able to live like that with only the carrot of 'it might get better someday' dangling in front of me.
I wish I would have walked
I wish I would have walked years ago --> that's exactly how I felt when I first came looking for this site!!! I have also financially supported my family (and BM too) for 16 years and sometimes feel like I have been taken advantage of. The BM drama just seemed to get worse and worse the more I tried to disengage from it all.
I just want to let you know that there is hope. My SS just graduated from high school last month and is turning 18 soon. That means the end of CS payments and hopefully all the drama with BM. My relationship with SS is much better now. I feel like I am finally reaching the light at the end of the tunnel. Please know that there are others who feel the same way you do. And that you won't feel like this forever.
Thanks for both sides of the
Thanks for both sides of the coin comments...I was asked to go on a two week trío to Singapore and when I told my company I wanted to make sure I was truly needed for two weeks, because I had been before for a week and only needed one day AND offered to work overnights to do conference calls w/them if needed it didn't go over too well...within a few weeks I was laid off...I then got numerous calls from others in the company shocked because they knew the type of worker I was...but I chose my son and that I don't regret until I realize that financially DH will not be able to support us very well until cs is over...
I have to tell you that is
I have to tell you that is why my dh and have our money separate and he takes care of his his and his CS and he pays half of the bills here. I pay the other half and I take care if my kids. This way for us at least there is no resent or money issues.
I am so sorry you feel this way I hope things get better what ever you decide.