My instinctual reaction would be to scream and yell because I was so furious when I found out. But I know that isn't the right way to get my dh to see the bigger picture.

So basically this is what has been going on around here. Multiple times the bathroom has been a complete distraction zone. Soap on the walls, doors, etc. Up until Friday we had thought it was only my bio doing this even though sometimes she would admit to it but most times she would adimitaly deny it. My daughter isn't the best of liars so I would even question myself on thinking it was her when she was denying it. Friday I seen the light!

I stepped out for literally only 5 minutes. My bio goes into the bathroom right after I get back and then yells that I need to see the bathroom. Half of the new shampoo I just bought them the day before is gone and there is suds everywhere. It was done so there was no question about it being done purposely. I go into steps room and ask if one of them was just in the bathroom. The sd says that she was. At this point I get extremely furious because I can see what has been going on. I know without a doubt that the sd did the suds mess because if she was just in there to only use the bathroom then there wouldn't have been suds on the toilet seat still and if she was just in there, there also wouldn't have been enough time for my daughter to have made that mess.

I was so furious at this time because I could only think of the many times that I even questioned if my bio had done it yet still got onto her for the messes and now I see that the sd had been doing it. I knew I was too mad to say anything so I just went and grabbed my cell and snapped a picture of the mess. When dh came home I explained what happened and the fact that there was no possible way that anyone besides sd could have made that mess. I also reminded him that this means that my bio has gotten into trouble many times that was probably also sd's mess. He goes into the sd's bedroom and talks to her. That is all he basically did and then tells her to clean the bathroom. No apologies to my bio or me. When I ask him about the talk with her, he only says that she was crying and denying it. I reminded him again that it wasn't possible for anyone else to have done it. But basically that was the end of the subject.

I have a strong feeling that he doesn't think she did it. He took sd's phone away but big deal, she only texts her bm and noone else. This is also her weekend to clean the bathroom so big deal on that too. She just had to clean it a couple of days early. Until now I had thought that my daughter was holding in alot of anger because of how bad some of the messes were, but now when I think about it the only ones she admitted to doing weren't much more then normal kid messes.

I really don't know how to handle this. Obviously dh is guilt parenting but when this is affecting my bio, I know that it can't be allowed to continue. When I talk with dh on things though I feel like it goes in one ear and out the other when it's talking about anything that concerns his kids.