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Stepmonster

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 9:15am

I know this book has been recommended over and over again. EVERYONE that is going to be in a blended family that will have a Stepmother, should read it. I think Dad's should read this book before they start dating and I think women that are going to date a man with kids needs to read it before they get involved. I truly believe that if DH and I would have read this book a year ago, we may be ok now. It is a great book and will validate your feelings and also make you look at things a different way.

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not_snow_white's picture

Submitted by not_snow_white on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 9:26am

I feel this book is better for the people around the stepmother than the actual stepmother. i feel a stepmother already understands how it feels and now it's time for other people to get it and read this book.

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 11:28am

I think Dad's that want to date should read this book more than anyone, but it definitely validated my feelings.

mommylove's picture

Submitted by mommylove on Fri, 08/27/2010 - 3:05pm

I agree not_snow_white!

I just finished reading Stepmonster today and I found it more validating than enlightening, but then I've been a member of ST for a few months now so any of the concepts that may have been foreign or taboo to me a few months ago are no longer!

I have to say that the combination of being on ST, attending couples counseling, and reading this book has really had me reflecting on my situation the last couple weeks and I feel very sad. I think I have finally realized that it would probably be best for H & I to split because beyond all of the step "issues", at the end of the day I just don't think our relationship with each other is strong enough to provide the "united front" that is required as a foundation for this "family" - I just haven't figured out how to go about getting out of this yet - which I believe is definitely the HARD part! Sad

On a separate note, after finishing Chapter 10, I have to say that I have a better appreciation for some of the trials that SPs with Adult SKs go through. Honestly I didn't get it when I read the posts here, but mainly because in my situation one of the other things I realized too late is that many of my step issues really center around what takes place in my home (NOT SKs overall behavior or treatment of me, or even BM or CS), and since I actually kind of liked my SKs when they did not live-in/visit my home, I suspect that I will like them again when they no longer visit my home (like I do SS now that he no longer lives there), which I understand is still different from a lot the challenges many SPs face with Adult SKs.

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 11:29am

It is definitely biased but if a DH read it, it wouldn't be coming from HIS wife and maybe he would be able to see how his wife actually feels.

Pantera's picture

Submitted by Pantera on Thu, 08/26/2010 - 11:31am

Guys should definitely read it, but you're right, good luck with that.

My DH truly believes that I am the problem. I think he really believes that the problems we had will not occur with another woman. That sucks for him because he will never be happy because he will just continue to blame the woman in his life.