you opinion is needed about bio not SD **UPDATE**
My bio daughter (17 yrs old) and her friend got busted for shoplifting. Long story short, we went to intake worker instead of going to juvie court and daughter has weekly sessions with girls her own age along with a probation officer and a college professor. I make it my responsibility to take my daughter to and from her appointment each week.
Her friend didn't bother to show up to meet with intake worker (said her mom was sick). Now friend went at a later date to intake worker and also has to attend same weekly classes as my daughter. Her friend wants me to give her a ride each week to and from these classes. I felt that wasn't my job and I don't want them to think of this as a "fun" activity since they were caught stealing. Granted, she lives in our same neighborhood, but I feel her friends parents should take some responsibilty here just like my husband and I have done for our daughter.
Am I being petty since she lives close by or should her parents make sure their own daughter attends these classes.
Any thoughts??
**UPDATE**
I decided not to tote my daughter's "friend" and its her parents responsibility. So I took daughter to her session last night and her "friend" was a no show. Her ride went to pick her up but she wasn't there. So now friend has to go to court and who knows what will happen from there. I asked my daughter how she felt about it and she said that it's her friends own fault and my daughter could care less. Inside I was thrilled bc now my daughter can see that her "friend" is a bad apple and isn't the best person to be hanging around with. I see that my daughter is much wiser than I thought. YIPPEE!!
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is there a reason her parents
is there a reason her parents cant take her? I feel like crap sometimes as I work late every tuesday adn thursday and cant take my kids to a lot of their events and have to rely on others for rides. I'm not a deadbeat mom-I'm out working-I try to have my parents pitch in and help as well. Find out why the parents cant take her-if they truly have a legit reason I would take her-if they are just sitting on their ass eating ding dongs and smoking cigarettes then I'd tell them to take her themselves.
her friends mom is not
her friends mom is not working...i think she's being treated for depression and they didn't tell her dad (her parents are divorced)...i feel they should ask family memebers to pitch in just as I would if it were me. I would ask my daughters uncles, my parents, friends.
Oh that depends. Do you think
Oh that depends. Do you think her Mom just wont take her and their daughter is afraid of going to juvenile hall due to this? I dont understand why the parent is not required to sign them in to and from these meetings to ensure parents are aware of what is going on. I do think that if you were to take both girls, they may think of it as them spending time together. But if I knew it was the only way the girl was going to get there, I would take her but let one ride in front and the other ride in back. I would also talk with the mom and make sure why she cant take her daughter and see if they are at the very least willing to split gas money and other expenses with you.
thats a good point
thats a good point wheresmywart.....quite frankly i don't like daughters friend...she shows zero respect....when they were in the class....her feet was kicked up on the table..none of the other girls were doing that....her mom lets her come and go at all hours of the night....shes already in an alternative school and doesn't have a job......i just feel that i am being resonsible for my daughter and she should do the same
Ohh... I see. Yea I would be
Ohh... I see. Yea I would be very cautious as well about my daughter being around her. You would think that she would show her best behaviour around you, other authority figures, and especially someone over their classes.
Sounds to me like the
Sounds to me like the "friend" is the bad influence on your daughter. I'm not sure I would continue to support their relationship. It's not your problem that she cannot get herself to the sessions.
I agree; sounds like a bad
I agree; sounds like a bad influence! I also agree that it is not your responsibility to take her friend - your daughter is your main concern...
I agree. Your daughters
I agree. Your daughters friend probably doesn't think she did anything wrong from what it sounds like. If her mom is depressed and she's letting her do whatever she wants she is probably looking for attention and getting into trouble is part of her way of getting it.
My SS10, his half brothers cousin is his BF so they hang out a lot. We have tried to keep them away b/c the brothers cousin is a BAD influence and he's only 11. His dad lets him do whatever he wants and just gives him a cell phone and tells him to call whenever. This kid stole a little .50 cents bakery item from a store and didn't get in trouble. His dad doesn't ground him or anything. I had a convo with the cousin, while my SS10 was standing there. {I think he's not a bad/bad kid, he's just looking for attention. His mom is on drugs and not in his life much} I said you wanna go to jail for a .50 item? he said he didn't do it. I said let me tell you something, once you steal anything, let alone a .50 cent item, you are now going to be looked at like a thief. Now when you walk in someone's house they are going to watch their things b/c if you could steal that little thing then why wouldn't you steal something else. How would you like it if I didn't let you in my house b/c I didn't trust you? or how would you like it if I took her stuff? He said he will just get a new thing. I said what happens when you go to jail? his answer, someone will come get me. I said what if they don't, he said someone will just knowing they will bail him out. But in the end he still wouldn't get in trouble. He needs a foot in his A** big time and nobody to do it so it looks like they don't care so why should he.
I would try hard to keep your daughter away. That girl is a bad influence and it will bring your daughter down. It's kind of hard. She's at the age that she needs to know the consequences and she could still sneak around without you knowing. I would def. sit your daughter down though and talk to her about the girl. Def. don't give her a ride, but tell her why too. I also told my SS10. It's not a joke when you steal and it stays on your record. Her friend is old enough to know better and basically nobody is responsible for you, but you.
ALl good comments..thank
ALl good comments..thank you....yeah it's hard to keep her away from her "friend"....she's not seeing how she is bringing my daughter down....my daughter assured me she will never do anything like that again...i stepped in her azz big time for it....so i can only pray and trust her....i didn't let me daughter go ANYWHERE for 2 weeks after..prolyl felt like eternity to her and your "friend" wasn't even on punishment..she was still allowed to hang out
Like your daughters friend
Like your daughters friend and my SS10's friend, they usually don't see anything wrong with it b/c usually when you do bad things you get punished. If they aren't getting punished then who cares right? those are the kids that end up in jail. Take her and her friend on a tour of the juvie center. Maybe that would change their mind the next time they think of stealing or anything else for that matter.
Good luck
I think NOT!!! I would not
I think NOT!!! I would not enable my kid spending time with a person she got busted for a crime with under any circumstance. In fact, if I ever caught my kid even so much as sharing general space with that person I would tan my kid's hide!
My kid would have spent several nights in jail before I showed up to bail her out if I were you. Whatever the consequences were for her while she was in jail, maybe she would have learned that jail is somewhere she never wanted to be again and would not put herself in the situation of ever going back.
IMHO of course.
Good luck and best regards