Hello,,and help needed!!!!!
First of Hello to you all..:)
This is the first time for me here,and I need some much needed help!!!.
I married a wonderful man,he can with 2 children boy 12 and girl 11,there bm is well,there are no word's,well there are plenty,but it gets me nowhere.
My Stepson can to live with us just before we got married he was having a hard time at school and there BM could no longer cope with him,she is also remarried,well 2 years down the we moved closer to my husbands family and there bm lives only 2 hours away,she does not pay child support,and she wont,she made that very clear!!!.
Well my stepson,has started to take his anger issue's out on me!!!he say's that I am his problem,that he does not want me to live here and he wants me to go away,he is also failing at school,he thinks that if he fail's that he get's to go back to his mom!!! Not going to happen his dad has already told him this,yet I am the one that is getting all the abuse from his son,it is really testing my faith,his father is blaming himself,but he is not really address the issue,the simple fact is he is not getting what he wants so he is taking it out on me.
I have raised my children,and they live with there girlfriends,but they never treated me that way,yet Im just supposed to take the treatment from his son,I DONT THINK SO,I decided to take a step back as I am always told that I dont care,but I can put a roof over your head,put food on the table,give you a warm bed and clean clothes,and nearly give you anything you need,yet Im the bad person.
I love my husband dearly,I have raised my children,but I find myself,is this what I really want,Im 43 years,and we should be happy,but my heart is full of sadness,knowing I might have to walk out on a wonderful man...Help...
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wow i don't know how that is.
wow i don't know how that is. that must be hard. but i would think that ur husband should do something about it. talk to your husband and tell him how u feel.
good luck
It sounds to me that SS has
It sounds to me that SS has some unresolved issues that he needs to deal with.
I think some counseling would be in order. I think that he is upset about past events but doesn't know how to process them in healthy way.
Typically when people act out in anger it usually means that they are either hurt or afraid which are primary emotions. Since both of those feelings make you feel vulnerable you cover them up with anger which is a secondary emotion. The anger takes away the feeling of being helpless.
There is something that is making him act this way. Especially if he never did before.
I have a FSD(6) that is a complete control freak among many other things. I think either she is developing a personality disorder or she is still suffering from the trama of her parents getting divorced. If the later part is true then she is most likely feeling like her little world is out of control,which is probably pretty fightening to her. So she feels the need to control everything around her to compensate. She doesn't know how to process how she feels in a productive way. I've spoken to my BF about this and getting her some counseling, but of course she can do no wrong. It worries me to think about how she will be when she gets older if these issues aren't dealt with soon.
I understand how this can be.
I understand how this can be. My ss17 likes to blame his whole life problems on me, as if I were the cause of them. It's not realistic, but it is someone to blame.
Kids that blame have problems with low self esteem and accepting fault for anything they do, for instance, grades. When you look at ss in that light, it makes you feel empathetic.
There is no excuse for him treating you this way and you know it will get worse as he ages and gets physically stronger.
DH has to take care of it. You have to practice self-preservation. I too am waiting to be happy...when the last monster turns 18!!
There BM just flat out
There BM just flat out refuses to pay,my hubby just wants everyone to be happy,so in the mean time we struggle to make ends meet,when my ss and sd go there BM she is the one that come up smelling of roses,she can afford a brand new car but not child support!!!! there BM is also married,she has told her husband to spanked them to,I am at my whit's end,it is like living with a time bomb,waiting for him to go off again,I walk on egg shells all the time,I love my husband dearly,but I ask myself,is this what I want for the next 8 year's.
There is so much tension in my home
I cook I clean all the stuff a mom does,Im having to go through hell because my ss wants to live with his mom,and because his dad said no he is taking it out on me,no matter what I do,it is not right.
Im am so sick and tired of
Im am so sick and tired of the sd and my ss and my husband,,they all live in there own world
my stepdaugther has become the girl from hell...she gets in my face and screams and her dad
just sits there and tells her to knock it off,,and she gets away with whatever she wants,
when I tell my husband that her attitude needs to be adressed his responce is,,,it is only till
there are 18,,so you want me to put up with this drama and b.s for the next 9 years of my life
and my happieness,,,,are you freckin kidding me,,,my mother in law also hates me,she told my
husband and my stepkids that I was just a piece of ass..and she is always telling them that I
am not good enough,,I am making plans to leave,I just dont have it in me anymore,after 5 years
Im done,,I have been here for them all, there own mother wants nothing to do with them and yet
she only lives 2 hours away,,I want to scream,and cry,all at the same time,,I am so angry with
myself that it has be allowed to continue,with the rudeness and b.s and drama yet they never
take it out on there dad................Sorry for the Rant