Email from my DH... in tears over it!!!
Well this weekend has been a toughy, with BM TELLING us that we had to have the kids all weekend, now she wont tell us where she is to drop the kids back to her, so we've got them again. I'm angry at the situation and the lack of power that i sometimes feel i dont have over my own life. My only way to cope is to take myself away from everything and just keep to my own space in the house, have a good cry and keep away from my partner till i feel that i can be around him again and not blame him for something that wasnt his fault...
then he sends me this and ive become an emotional wreck....
I'm sorry...For all the pain and heartache I've caused you since we got together. I sometimes think you would've been better off if you'd ended things a year+ ago.
I'm sorry that my inability to be firm, to be a man, has affected your life in such a drastic way, and changed the way your life was going.
You've always supported me in everything I do, you've stood by me, encouraged me, and I don't know that I'm worthy of what you do for me. Do I really pay it back sufficiently? Maybe me personally, but the added baggage that comes as a part of being me? I don't know.
I hate seeing you hurt, and I hate seeing you disappointed, especially when, even by proxy, the cause of that is me. I love you more than I can ever tell you, and I probably don't show you that enough.
I don't want to live my life without you or A***** being there
with me, and I swear to you that I will man up, I will do my utmost to be the man that you deserve... if you think I still deserve that chance.
I truly want for you to be happy. And I want for that to be with me
I'm sorry for what you feel because of me.
I will always love you, no matter what.
- MrsDaisaku's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
That is so sweet. You've got
That is so sweet. You've got a good guy there. My DH was saying just about the same thing the other day bi hope you guys can work through things!
It sounds like he truly wants
It sounds like he truly wants to change. Maybe he just doesn't know how. I'm hoping that his actions speak louder than his words in that email so that the two of you can have the life together that you really want.
My best to you and your family.
That was a very heartfelt
That was a very heartfelt email he wrote to you. He has the right ideas in his mind, he just needs to figure out how to deal better with BM and that process does take time.
It took years for BM to stop torturing DH. It was because DH finally figured out that it wasn't all his fault that was the turning point. DH realized that all the guilt BM was putting on him was ridiculous. He realized he did the best he could with the situation. This helps a lot when he was constantly being beaten down and belitted as a father.
The way DH deals with BM now is by having as little contact as possible. Your BM is taking advantage of you by dumping the kids, but apparently the kids are better off with you. As they get older this will work less and less. If you are in it for the long haul with DH, try to see the big picture. They'll only be little for a little while.
Congrats on having a man that seems to truly love you. Stick to your guns and still expect him to give BM boundaries!
oh that is sweet. It reminds
oh that is sweet. It reminds me of my sweet man. He feels just like that. I always feel so frustrated and like you..it is not anything I can control and it feels helpless and hopeless. Then i feel so guilty because hubby is so sweet and apologetic and "needing" me so much. They are good men, they just feel lost sometimes too and I think we are good for them, because we do help guide them.
I definitely agree, i have an
I definitely agree, i have an incredibly caring and considerate partner... he's beginning to realise the realities and that things need to improve with BM, Skids and Him before they can improve with us. I've taken a step back, but when a routine is upset and my only day with my DH is taken away from me, in a month, i feel both pathetic, lost and out of control. He's going to do all that he can over the next weeks to fix things as best he can.... fingers crossed things will improve. I feel blessed but also like i'm standing on the edge of a precipice sometimes... not knowing if i will fall or keep my balance. Who knows, i sure as hell dont.