Daddy Confusion: SS5 thinks he is SS2's Father. Am I overreacting?

SS5 informed me two days ago that he is SS2's daddy. We were talking about dinosaurs and mommy and daddy dinosaurs and he sort of just blurted out that he is the father of his two year old brother. I tried to explain that they are both brothers, and are both the sons of my FDH. They have the same mother, too, so I see no reason for this confusion to exist. However, he continued to insist that he is SS2's daddy and that he might be somebody else's daddy, too, someday, but that he would always be SS2's daddy first. ???.

I am tempted to say I think this is cute, but that would be a lie. Maybe under different circumstances. However, SS5 continually acts as if he is the man of the house and is responsible for every little thing that happens to SS2 and everything that SS2 does. I originally interpretted this as SS5 being bossy, but now I am beginning to understand why he apologizes for things SS2 does, lets SS2 hit him and steal his food, and even explains to us why SS2 has done something bad by insisting "he's just a baby."

I think that BM has actually placed "man of the house" responsibilities on a kid who barely turned 5 a week ago. I actually think she has been doing this ever since SS2 was born. And I'm extremely upset that there is so much confusion in this poor kid's life that he doesn't know he is not a father at 5 freakin' years old.

Am I overreacting?

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Thanks for your response,

Thanks for your response, Finey. I have to admit I sometimes overreact to BM's nonsense, and I was worried that I was overreacting to this too. But this is really, truly strange, isn't it? I have a fair memory and I can't remember ever in my life thinking that I was the parent of my brother. We were siblings, played together, sometimes fought, and that was it.

FDH agrees with me, and is understandably upset, but I was concerned he was simply taking my impression of the situation and running with it.

He says he is going to sit down with SS5 the next time we have him (tomoro actually) and explain the situation. I hope it helps, but I feel like this is something we're going to have to un-train for quite a while.

Poor guy. I can't imagine having that kind of responsibility as a five year old.

Idk your situation so it's

Idk your situation so it's hard to say, but it could just be kid stuff. My bd5 acts like she is bs4's mommy. She is constantly bossing him around, trying to discipline him and when they play he sometimes calls her mommy. But they both know who the REAL mommy is! Also, ss sticking up or his little bro and making excuses is him probably just copying what bm says at home. Bm prob tells ss5 that ss2 "is just a baby" when ss5 gets frustrated at his little bro or whatever. In that case you prob just need to remind ss5 that yes, ss2 is still little and doesn't understand everything but that ss2 still needs to learn right from wrong. Then remind ss2 that what he did wasn't right in front of ss5 so he knows that ss2 isn't going to get away with everything just because of his age. Also, my dd is very protective of her younger brother. I think when a sibling gets placed on a big bro/big sis role they may feel responsible for the yougersibling some. If your bm is a single mom then she might have taken that to the extreme? Maybe ss5 has to entertain ss2 a lot? I don't think It's that bm is putting him in the 'man of the house' role, but only you know the bm here.

When we still saw the skids -

When we still saw the skids - it's been a while - SS who is 7 years older than SD was constantly in the parent role because that's what BM would tell him to do. If SD needed anything at our home, she went to SS instead of to us. Food, Drink, not feeling well - she even would ask him to help her get ready for the day or get ready for bed. It was creepy. It's a horrible position for the kids to be in. And it was to me the first real step of under valuing DH has their father.

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