How to handle school functions etc. with psycho BMs
I’m already dreading the Christmas play for SS7’s grade. Not because I’m in any way scared or intimidated by BM, but because I don’t want to deal with her at all... ever. I didn’t go to the play last year simply to avoid the drama. But at this point BM has had years to get over the fact that her ex-husband has moved on and to realize that she needs to as well. FDH’s nephew is in the same grade at the same school and all of FDH’s family members and I (and our new baby) will be going as a family. It’s not fair to SS, to my future nephew, to me, or particularly to my new baby (due in a week and a half!) that I and the baby stay away from events like this because we’re "afraid of what BM will do." At SS's open house a couple weeks ago, she was asking any person that knows FDH at all if I was coming, telling people she "had a stomach ache and couldn't eat all day because she was so worried that I would go" lol (as if a- any of them wanted to talk to her at all and b- that they wouldn't be laughing about this with FDH).
I can already put money on that crazy crazy crazy BM will try to approach us all and try to see the baby (despite that things are so hostile between her and everyone here, she’s just that nuts that I can see her walking up with a smile) …Yuck. I decided that, should this happen, I will very calmly say “I don’t think I need to tell you out loud that you’re not welcome near my son” (you know, BM, the baby boy you won’t stop trying to call/text your ex about, calling him “It,” and so on? I could punch her for that. Who hates themselves so much that they have to pick on an unborn baby to feel better? Oh that’s right, BM). I’m afraid of being made out to be the bad guy in this situation, though. She'd probably try talking to me in front of the kid's teacher or something. I mean what do I do if she tries anything when SS is actually right there (I don’t know why I’m that concerned when she tells SS how much she hates me, that I’m a whore, bitch, and so on). We thought about emailing her beforehand and telling her to stay away from us. I am hoping to hear some advice or stories about dealing with the sort of situation that requires SMs and crazy BMs to be in the same building.
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My situation is very similar.
My situation is very similar. BM is crazy. Told the entire town including SS's teacher that SHE was having a baby with my DH and when I was 9 mnths prego demanded that he "come home" now and leave before that "thing" was born. You can imagine the shock on the faces at SS's school when DH and I showed up for the school play togeather and I was pregnant "too". She purchased formula and cloths for my son when he was born, I threw those out.
At school functions she always tries to start fights in dark corners and play sweet loving family in front of people. A few years back I started taking a friend, my best friend...so when she got crazy I had someone to back me up/laugh at her with me and I found that it really curbed the crazy. We always arrive after her so she is already seated and we then postion ourselves as far away as possible, should she attempt to move near us...we walk out, come back in and re-position ourselves. (this hasn't had to happen in a while now, she got it)
After the event, when DH goes to see SS she will try to talk to him but he basically ignores her unless it's urgently child related and I either greet the children on the other side of the room or leave and talk to them in the parking lot later. If she's been particularly crazy as of late, we enlist Grandparent support.
Just don't sit anywhere near
Just don't sit anywhere near her and don;t let her know you are there. that is what we do. If she says anything just say my nephew is here thank you.
Smiley, she wasn't even
Smiley, she wasn't even pregnant? Ha... wow. That makes me so, so sick people calling innocent babies names. I can picture BM sending a gift for the baby too- and i can picture myself promptly donating said gift to charity.
I'd definitely have something to say about nephew being there. BM likes to throw her weight around as "a parent of a child in the district" and how I should have no rights there as I do not have a child there or whatever the hell she says. Same for anything medical. I swear she takes SS to the doctor constantly just because the CO and FDH clearly say only neccesary communication regarding visitation, school, or anything medical.
LOL, no she was not pregnant,
LOL, no she was not pregnant, she can not get pregnant and DH wouldn't touch her if she were on fire - She just looked it.
If I didn't know BM didn't have other children I would think we had the same one. BM takes SS's to the Dr. atleast weekly. She recently had SS's arm put into an unnecessary cast because he had fallen outside...it gave her and excuse to call and acuse of ignoring a injury that would require surgery. Amazing!
If you don't want to deal
If you don't want to deal with her, than don't go. Go out with your friends or stay at home and pamper yourself instead. If you go, go knowing that you are going to see her and you are going to be polite because the reason you are there is your ss.