SD depressed my ass!!!
Well as you know I log into Facebook with my son's password to check on SD15. BM being the wonderful mother she is has apparently allowed her and two friends to go to Los Angeles for a few days. DH still has legal custody and she is supposed to let DH know if the kids are going out of town. Of course, DH will know nothing about this.
SD last month had a three day hold because she talked about suicide. BM only told DH because we got the insurance statement. She said in an email that SD15 told her (BM) that she was a burden to her. Also, that her dad didn't love her anymore and thinks she is a bad kid. Can you say manipulate much???
I am so tired of it being something with this kid. DH will see this himself on Facebook and will let it go. I can too, but I am so tired of this kid manipulating everyone. She is failing and is going on vacation with friends and no adults. She is 15 years old.
DH is still legally responsible for her. We have not given that up. Great, she does something, I am sure that we will be responsible for retribution. This girl last summer took out mailboxes through out the town. That is only what we know. I am sure that there is more.
I can feel that something is coming with this kid. I swear I have lived the last ten years of my life waiting for the other shoe to drop. I just don't want my husband to buy into this "poor me" act.
Don't tell me I should not look at Facebook. I monitor it to protect my son. I am cautious and never say anything to him to protect his privacy. I have de-friended SD. We would not know half of what we know if it wasn't on Facebook. SD is stupid. The day she claimed depression she was running around town posting pics. Depressed my ___!!! She probably got in trouble for something and this is her way of handling it. I look at what my son is doing and get to see her through his friends. The enemy you know if better than the enemy you don't....
If I hear from DH or BM through email again the SD is depressed and blaming DH again, it is so on.
DH and I had a long conversation last weekend about this stuff. I made it clear that I am sick and tired of never being able to say a word to BM. I have had one letter to her in 6 years. Two other conversations that were about 2 minutes long. I have been berated via email continuously to family and friends. I have never said a word to BM or SD since the day she left. I barely said anything to SD after she served me with papers suing us to live with mom. My one comment was that I disappointed in her actions. That was it. For that amount of restraint, I have been villainized by them to anyone that will listen.
Why can't everyone just be up front and stop hiding things. Why can't BM just send and email to DH and tell him. Why do we have to hear on Facebook???
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I LOL'd at your last
I LOL'd at your last line.
You want everyone to "be up front and stop hiding things," yet you're creeping on SD's FB page pretending to be your son.
I am sure that is who this
I am sure that is who this is...She pops back in just to tell us how bad we are as SM's. The BM's are never at fault and we don't understand our stepkids....Yeah yeah!!!
I openly admit to BS that I
I openly admit to BS that I do this. He understands and knows that if he wants a Facebook account while living under my roof, he has to. He is a good kid, so it is not a problem.
SD15 is well aware that her father is friends with her and sees this stuff. She is so stupid about what she puts there. She deserves to be caught.
I do not reply or make a comment while on his facebook. I am just checking it out. A good parent would do this...As for checking on SD...Hell yeah...She has no right to privacy with me. Burn me once, shame on you.....
The only way things will
The only way things will change is if your husband wants them to. If he steps up an confronts BM about letting a 15 year old go out of town unsupervised then she will know that she is being watched. Your SD is out of control, she is headed down a horrible path. Remember to protect yourself and your son from her. As far as everyone in town that makes comments that only know what they hear from BM's side. Ignore it. True friends stand by you no matter what.
He has confronted her and he
He has confronted her and he has called his lawyer and her lawyer told her to stop doing this...Doesn't work. All it does is piss him off and makes me feel once again that this woman will never get the karma she so richly deserves.
We are supposed to be
We are supposed to be notified. This is the fifth time BM has done this. Nothing works. We have given up custody of this child, but we still have legal custody. Going to court is useless and just costs money.
We have SS13 full time now and have decided that we will no longer tell her a damn thing. The shame is that it had to come to that type of reaction from us.
I snoop on my son thru FB as
I snoop on my son thru FB as well. There is NOTHING wrong with that. Unfortunately for our kids, they are caught up in a digital age and whether we'd like to believe it or not, kids do dumb shit. And WE might raise them differently but they are still their own person and will STILL do dumb shit no matter what we teach them. Hence me snooping thru FB to make sure I am able to intercede when he does something inappropriate or stupid. As far as your SD goes, I'd disengage. Fuck it. I have gotten to a point in my life that I take note of the Skids behavior, tell my Dh and let him do with the info whatever the hell he pleases. They're not my kids. If at the end of the day they want to be good, thats great, if they want to be pieces of shit, that's fine with me too, because they will NOT be POS living under my roof so I don't really care. SS19 lives with us, works and respects me & his dad & our home. If that ever changes he can get the fuck out & I won't give a damn.
I go on my kids' FB pages,
I go on my kids' FB pages, too. I wasn't knocking that. I, as their parent, keep tabs on what they do. They have to friend me, too. }:)
I just think it's ironic that the OP asked why everyone can't just be open and up front, and she's stalking FB as someone else. That was all...
I can get where OP is coming
I can get where OP is coming from though. Our BM is a real sneaky type bitch. So in order for me to ever know what really goes on I have to snoop on her page thru a mutual friends wall. Sometimes it's the only way to get the real scoop on stuff. I'm all for doing what you gotta do to get the info you need.
3monkeys - why don't you try
3monkeys - why don't you try something crazy like........
being HELPFUL instead of holier-than-thou.
We have all got enough bitches IRL to deal with, without needing to deal with you.
If everyone WAS open and up-front AND co-parented effectively, there would be no NEED to go on FB to see what was really going on!
So the OP calls out others on
So the OP calls out others on not being "up front" and I point out she's doing the same thing by "hiding" who she really is on FB. That's being holier than thou? AND I go on my kids' pages, but I go on them as myself. I don't use their passwords to log in to see people's stuff who I have zero contact with.
OP's DH isn't going to do anything about the trip to LA. OP is just stressing herself out over it.
I know that is true. DH's kid
I know that is true. DH's kid has been burning up her Twitter with all of the drinking/sex/drug activities she has been participating in, when she isn't spewing crap about my kids or myself.
You would think her mom would at least LOOK at her kid's stuff-I am the SM and I can see it.
Also, I don't get 3littlemonkeys argument. This is a minor child-Bm isn't forthcoming with any information, so why not get it by whatever means they can? We arent talking about an adult here, we are talking about a teenager. So what if she logs in under her kid?
Are you aware that they can
Are you aware that they can block you from seeing their posts this way. That is why we insisted on the password from all the kids. I block my mother from some of my comments on Facebook. She doesn't like when we put anything on there. So it is easier to block her than hear about it. I am sure my kids do that with me.
This way SD can't hide the stuff she does. I know she blocks her dad from some things...Some of the things she has done we would never know about and have fuel for court if it weren't for my "snooping".
Because this is the ONLY way
Because this is the ONLY way to get information. Hey, I've been there as well. My ss lives with my inlaws-they never tell dh anything alhtough we are supposedly trying to work on reintegrating ss back in the family. You would think it would be common sense to simply say, "hey, heres what happened this week with ss, blah, blah"-but its like everything is top secret!
If I am thinking about letting ss move back in here and have contact with my kids then I absolutely want to know what is going on with him. I also dont have any sort of problem letting anyone know that I do monitor ss thru facebook. I dont think I am being sneaky.
OP monitors thru her son's facebook because they go to school together right? So she potentially has contact with op's kid everyday-even if op does not want her in her life I could see why she wants to monitor what is going on with her. One thing i've learned as well, as these kids never go away-you never know when your situation may change and they may pop back up again so it is good to keep tabs on them.
I keep up with SD's for
I keep up with SD's for multiple reasons:
1) she is about one step away from slander
2) to document EVERYTHING for court. It will be hard for her mom to explain how she is raising her right and we suck, when SD puts every illicit activity out there for the world to see.
3) if I hadn't kept up with it, we would have never know SD was moving across the street with her crackhead mother. That would have been a shock, and I am glad as hell I got a heads up.
Don't worry your day is
Don't worry your day is coming....