Actually (And this is Verizon) all text messages are kept by the company but because everyone is sending so many they're easily avaliable for about a second after they're sent or recieved then they're archived. We were told we'd need a court order to get any message history.

If there's no kind of order to allow texting between them, I would go ahead & have them blocked now. If she wants to speak with SD she can call the house phone or your DH's cell. She's shown that she can't behave & needs to be monitored.

Yep I would block her number.

I agree with Not The Maid, 10 year olds don't need cell phones. If you still want them to have one for emergencies, get one of the ones where you can preprogram in 4 phone numbers. I also think your DH should force BM to call the house phone. That way you will always be aware of when SD is talking to BM.

I'll tell you what I did...

First, the child needs to have a smartphone for this to work.
There are products on the market that you can install that will save you a copy of every text message sent AND received. The one I used was cellphone recon. I logged into their website and could view all texts. There's also a GPS monitor, but I'm not sure how accurate it is. You can download texts into excel and keep a permanent record of days, times, and content.

Who pays for the cell phone? You or BM? That could factor in.

http://cellphonerecon.com/

I had this problem with Ding Dong. We actually just discussed this in front of a judge less then a month ago. I had to block Ding Dongs number as well s that of his mother because of inappropriate texts, the number of text messages as well as the number of calls.

Ding Dong tried to tell the judge that I was limiting his contact with the girls. He also stated that I would never let them talk to him on the home phone or on my cell. After I proved that the girls were talking to him on my phone the judge declared that I was not limiting his contact. After that he told Ding Dong that a child having a cell phone is a privilege and not a right, he should not have unrestricted access 24 hours a day and that he is more then able to contact the girls on our home phone or on my cell. I am allowed to keep his numbers blocked.

I would seriously do the same thing if I were you. Children do not need to read or hear the crap your skids are dealing with.

You may tell him he is violating the supervised visitation order. (in a way). Because monitoring what gets said is a part of supervised visit. The purpose for that is to keep these parents from PASing their kids and casueing emotional harm. Bm telling her to out and out lie is reason enough to take her phone. Not includeing the fact that sd is now trying to hide the text from Bm by deleting them. Your DH should not put up with that behavior. By him doing so he is teaching SD that it is ok to lie. Lieing is the reason to take the phone and not give it back. On a land line phone radio shack sales a device that you can hook to the line and a recorder, it will recorder the calls and you can listen to them later. That way SD doesn't know that she is being recorded while talking to BM. SO here what I suggest.
1.) catch SD lieing about the deleting the text and take the phone away as punishment.
2.) get the recorder hook up to the phone and let BM and SD lies hang them.
3.) then there you have a reason to take away phone privileges all together, plus you have on tape Bm PASing SD.

Not that you could use it in court but, I wouldn't tell anyone that.

Just take the phone away. She can't be trusted...She is deleting them and BM is undermining DH. She can call on the house phone and I would put her on speaker until she proves she can behave. The courts gave her supervised visitation for a reason...