You are here

I knew I should not have done it...

Viylette's picture

Ok, so are Christmas time, my husband was making feel extremely guilty about the kids. And I guess, I did not want to be label as the wicked step mother. I do not know why it was botherng me then, just was. And he wanted to get his daughter a phone for Christmas, but he is on my plan (that i pay for). So, after much debate, he played on my weakness and I got her a phone attached to my plan for Christmas. And we laid down the rules that day. She had free verizon to verizon text messages, and we bought her 1500 outside providers text messages. So anything in verizon network was free, and she had up to 1500 text messages outside the verizon network free. We told her if she goes over her phone is gone, bad grades = phone gone, and everythng else under the sun.

Well sometime ago around the middle of February her grades dipped to c's and d's and one F. So, her mother took the phone (which I approve of) and told her she could have it back when her grades came up. Well, apprently she got her phone back around March 13.

Now, i check my phone statement on the last day of the billing cycle to make sure everything is ok, and boy was I surprised last night. She had made upwards of 10,000 text messages, in little less than a month. And I call my husband right after and tell him, and I told him to call her and tell her to get off the phone right now, because we are coming to get it today. So, she texed approx 5500 in network text messages, and 4500 out of network messages, so take the 4500 - 1500 = 3000 text messages we are going to have to pay for!! WHT is she smoking? There is no need to text that damn much. She is 12 years old for freaks sake. Nobody, has that much to say, and I know happy of those damn messages are the stupd little smiley faces or lol.

Thankfully, I was able to contact Verizon and get the plan upped to cover it, but I am still pissed because she has proven herself irresponsible. And I just will not have it anymore. And her phone was shut off right after I found out about this.

So, in discussing this with my husband, he always takes the defensive side. And he stated that "she did not mean to do it". WTF? I do not care that she did mean to do it, it is still done. And I could see going over a couple of hundred, but this is 3000. I do not care if she using tick marks on her arm to keep count until it turns black or using a ababacus, it should not have happened. And then he comes backs with, "I should have been monitoring more carefully", and I told him I sent him the information on how to log onto the website and he says he deleted it by accident, yet he was able to log on last night when i was at work...hmmmm. And he asked her this past weekend, if she was ok on texts, and she comes back with "yes, daddy I have not texted anyone outside verizon". BULLSHIT!!

Then he tells me he called her, but she was already upset and crying and hiding underneath a pillow and did not want to make her day worse. I was like WTF? That is what life is about. You take responsibility for things WHEN they happen, not later, esp things you know are coming. It is not Life like goes, "umm is this a good time to drop a shit bomb on your doorstep, because I can come back later". If that worked, I would be frst in line, and telling Life every single day that "no, today does not work for me, come back later". No, you take care of things as they happen. You do not going crying and hide your head underneath and pillow and hope it goes away.

So, this morning around 10, I look on verizon's website and she has already made 18 messages!! AhHHH, I am going to kill her. I called my husband and told him he better take care of it, because she is not going to like it I have too. And so far after he sent her the text message, not a peep. It only takes 2 times for her to listen to him, not 5 times, like the son., and I am supposed to be impressed.

I am just waiting to hear her side of things. It is probably going to go something like "you did not tell me I was over" or "i did not know". well, honey now you know, because this song and dance is not happening again. Phone is OFF, adios amigo, not seeing it again. Yah, know, I knew ths was going to happen, but still tried, so he can not say I never tried. And now I do not have to try again.

belleboudeuse's picture

"And he stated that "she did not mean to do it". WTF? I do not care that she did mean to do it, it is still done"

WHAT THE HELL DOES THAT EVEN MEAN? She didn't MEAN to do it? What the F***, was she SLEEP TEXTING??? YES she meant to do it. I HATE that kind of rationale. Seriously.

And duh, of COURSE she was crying -- because she got caught!!! And of course she's "hiding under a pillow" -- because she's hoping that if she acts traumatized she won't get punished!!!

JEEBUS H, what in the hell is wrong with him? Absolutely, the phone is off. She's done. The next phone she gets, she can pay for it herself, or her mom can pay for it.

BB

You are not second best, you are not second class. Do not ever let anyone make you feel that way. - 2BLoved

Viylette's picture

LOL - that is exactly the same thing I said. I do not care that "she did not mean to do it", it is freaking done. And what exactly did she mean to do, when she was texting so damn much, play Uno?

And that is what kills me, he was acting all nice, and trying to be comforting,when what he really should have been is mean, and telling her it will not happen anymore, and giving her some hard nosed discpline. But, i guess it was too much to wish for.

NachoMama's picture

AHHH....the cell phones! That is EXACTLY the reason I can not stand my SS11. I would NEVER get him a cell on my plan FORGET IT!! I would have taken that phone from her IMMEDIATELY!! WTH??? For what it would cost to pay for those text you could just turn the darn service off. If she "needed" a phone...BM would have to get it for her!!!

****I can do bad all by myself****

Viylette's picture

Well, we do not have to worry about it anymore. Phone is off. Verizon is covering the charges and our life can go back to the miserable normal it is.

That is just sad. Sad

Viylette's picture

Oh, I am sorry about how your husband reacted to your SD's blatant disrespect. Fortunately, the phone is in my name only, so I have all the control. And, I told him and had him relay it to her, that the phone was being shut off and there would never be a phone coming from me. Maybe him, but def not me.

I do not think she really cares. And for that matter, I really do not care either.Sucks to be her, because now she is going to have to go back to having a prepaid phone.

usade's picture

Cell phones and texting are becoming a topic of discussion in our household as well. BF has been warned that LittleMiss will probably soon be coming to Dad to reload her pre-paid card. Since he adamantly insists that his money is OUR money, I'm putting my foot down. The gloves are off, and if the kids "suffer" because Daddy or usade won't shell out any more money whenever they come a-calling, tough shit. That's life. You want something, you work and save for it. If bm allows their daughter to be irresponsible with her cell and her money, then that's her problem, not ours.

Storm76's picture

Do you not have pay as you go phones in the US? It's the easiest solution in the UK - basic handset, parent buys £10 voucher each month, and when it's gone, it's gone - teaches the kids to budget themselves, and not waste the credit texting smilies!

"God never gives us more than we can cope with, I just wish he didn't have such faith in me!"

stepmom008's picture

And she sure as hell can figure out how many she's used. It's a simple couple of punches on the keypad to pull the information up. I'm with Storm76. Pay as you go is a great way to deal with kid cell phone problems.

"There are two things over which you have complete dominion, authority, and control over - your mind and your mouth".

folkmom's picture

In college, before cell phones, I ran up my dorm phone bill. My mom...she tried to kill me. LOL. I was 20. She had my phone shut off. She took $300 out of my account, and she made me pay her $20 a month for 6 months as a penalty for my stupidity. My mom...she always meant business.

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

10,000 messages? wow she was a busy thing! Perfectson usually runs between 5,000-7,000 txts a month and I have around 4,000-5,000 myself. That's why they make unlimited texting plans.

Sorry people but I love my skids having cell phones because I can text them whenever I want and I don't have to call their house and hope BM doesn't pick up.

Jsmom's picture

SD14 averages 4,000 per month. Warned DH that a child having no restrictions on things could only lead to trouble. Now we find out she has had a boyfriend for months against his and BM rules. How we found out was she broke her cell phone and had to use the house phone and BS heard her and tattled. We don't pay for the cell phone so we have no way to control it. Personally I don't see what the hell that they have to say to each other that requires that much time. Pick up the damn phone.

no fairytale's picture

I have to say I love text msg. But that many is crazy!!
However, I keep track of what my boys are not telling me by looking at their texts -)
But, they are 14 and 17 so a little different then a child at that age.

no fairytale's picture

Hahaha...yes I pay for the phone I will look at it whenever I want to.
Dont get me wrong he has no idea most of the time if he did he would delete everything prior.

I just do not want to be one of those parents that says "I had no idea" so I keep track of what I can. -)

Wicked.Step.Monster's picture

I just can't imagine... perfectson is 17 and I haven't looked at his phone in years and I pay the bill on his blackberry.... I have no reason not to trust him so I'm not about to go through his private stuff!