decisions decisions
So the last time I left for more than 2 days was when sd24 and her son lived there. So we had 2 adults there 24/7 and 1 working (me); I decided I needed a break, took a good weekend break, and came home to a spotless house and well behaved kids (Because I told dh I just couldn’t take the chaos anymore). The second time I left for the weekend was the weekend before my grandma got her wings. I came home that Sunday and the house was a mess including dirty dishes sitting in a sink full of water, bathroom rugs that have been sitting on the dog’s pen for MONTHS because I was cleaning, never did finish those, but you would think that dh would have gotten them by now. (norm-I hate it but I refuse to do house work other than what I WANT to do since I’m the only one that works). I decided, that since the kids get home at 3:30, me at 5:30-6, and dh there all day there is NO reason they shouldn’t have some chores done. So I made a list, which would mean the entire house is spotless daily. So I alternated who does what between sweeping and moping etc etc. Well, the past few weeks dh hasn’t been enforcing the chores. I’d come home and the carpet CLEARLY hadn’t been swept, etc, so I asked “why are chores not done?” sd13 and dd “dad sent us outside to play” me “well get them done, dh why are YOU not enforcing these chores” dh “idk just didn’t think about it” (his normal excuse).
So I’m debating: I’m due to return home Friday after I get dd from her dad’s. Dh has been the ONLY one at the house for the past week and a half (kids have been to op’s for spring break visitation and I’ve been at my mom’s). So I’m thinking IF the house is a mess, turn right around and leave again and tell dh “I’ll return tomorrow, if the house is still not clean, then it’ll be Sunday or until the house is clean again and STAYS that way.” This way he can’t try to make dd clean a mess she didn’t make and my way of saying “I’m not living in this filth or cleaning it, I wasn’t here to help make it, I’m not cleaning it” if he makes his kids assist, then more power to him (though I personally don’t agree I’m just not making dd do that). it would also make for a PERFECT excuse to get more stuff out of the house, cause I AM gone, I just want to get what’s important to me before he legally can take whatever he wants legally
Would you do that?
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good point
good point
of course, the only way i
of course, the only way i could do that is if i legally have him evicted
I totalling understand your
I totalling understand your frustration. But what purpose would that all serve if you are planning to leave in a few months anyways? I say just coast until school is over and you can make a clean break. Why subject yourself and your bd to extra stress and aggrivation.
If you were going to try and stay and work it it, then yeah do what you gotta do to make the point that he needs to change. But if you are leaving anyways, why bother? Just tell him in no uncertain terms that he'd better clean all the mess up while you are at work. But playing these games serves no purpose if you are leaving soon.
and if he doesn't?? then we
and if he doesn't?? then we have to clean it or live in the filth
i understand what you are saying i really do
lol i so would do that, but
lol i so would do that, but sometimes the "stuff" is my stuff like dirty laundry that he never did