I understand. I have to literally bite my tongue to stop myself from talking and starting a war. I tell myself that if no words come out of my mouth then it cannot turn into a fight. I walk away and pretend nothing is happening. When he brings her up I say things like oh, ok and I see but I will not offer an opinion.

Last month SD15 was grounded for having bad grades and staying up all night on the phone. DH told her at 9pm she is to bring her phone upstairs or he will take it away. It lasted maybe 3 nights and she stopped doing it. I mentioned it to him and he gets defensive and mad. Now I just don't care. If she stays up all night and doesn't wake up for school, I will not drive her. Not my problem.

Last month I told her she could not have a friend sleepover. She went behind my back and asked DH and he said yes. The girl slept over. I wasn't too happy that I said no and he said yes but I tried to let it go. Then the friend snuck a box of chocolate munchkins into SD's room. We do not allow food downstairs in the bedrooms because we have 2 dogs and they eat everything. One dog got in and ate an entire box of munchkins. SD said nothing about it. The dog spent the entire night and next day throwing up and pooping. Guess who was stuck cleaning it?? Me! I finally yelled at DH and told him to have his brat daughter clean the shit up and he did but I had to redo it because shes an idiot.

It is so frustrating and I find it harder and harder to deal with everyday. I try not to mention her name at all to DH because it never ends well. I am so sick of fighting about her. He has been walking on eggshells around me after our last fight with him telling me to stop being jealous of his daughter in front of her. He sees that I have backed off and its making him nervous. Good!

I am a nice person. Brought up to be respectful and obey MOST laws (underage drinking but didn't get caught so does it count? Oh and I have been known to run a red light but then feel guilty.). My ss19 cannot believe I never smoked pot, skipped school or shoplifted. Never. And he finds it hard to believe?

When I first met my DH his older son (12 at the time) would get a phone call from a friend and Mr12 would take off to play basketball about 3 blocks away. And DH would hold back dinner for him. Not even "Dad is it OK....?". Just "I will be back at ...."

I told DH at the time that this is setting a dreadful precedent. That the day would come when his son will just do what he wants. DH told me to keep out of it as his ex and him have it in hand and Mr12 gets great grades and has given them no cause to doubt him.

2 yrs later Mrnow14 is getting picked up for smoking pot in a car with friends and it was all downhill from there.

I refused then and refuse now to let my life and my standards be determined by the lowest common denominator. Not on my patch, no way, not anymore. I put up with crap with MrEx and will not do so again.

Honestly. I don't know how you ladies put up with this going on in your home. Maybe you will crack and become a Banshee-Woman if someone eats your bundt cake. I know a woman who was the epitome of good behaviour when her husband left her until he turned up to swap out the kids with his OW (other woman) in the car. He was still on the fence whether to go back to my friend or not (or as he had her believe). Not even legally separated and he turns up with the woman he was cheating on his wife with and she had been there all weekend playing happy families while she was thinking and finding a marriage counsellor at his suggestion. She flipped out and became (in her words) the Banshee Woman. She let go and just tore him up, down and sideways in the parking lot in Maine.
She has never behaved that way again. But I bet ther eis a Banshee WOman in ALL of us just dying to get out.

My situation is a little different, but I put my foot down on a lot of things tonight and i'm not afraid to tell SO the truth about his daughter either. SD6 is entitled, bratty, annoying, and just not a joy to be around in general. I cannot bite my tongue bc I am wayyyy to much of a outspoken person. I started my argument with this http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/evolution-the-self/200909/child-enti.... I handed it to him and then we got into a battle about things bc I told him how ungrateful SO's child is. And that she does NOT rule this house. I'm tired of her demanding ppl do things for her instead of asking. I just simply can't take it anymore and refuse to live this way. I REFUSE!! So either I speak the truth and hope for the better a couple years from now or he refuses to open his eyes and I walk. Normally he storms out of the front door and goes for a walk for like an hour and then refuses to talk about it for the rest of the night, but this time he started getting upset and I said "Go for a walk and calm down." He said "Why? You're just going to start the same argument a different night." Your damn right I am. I think he's finally clueing in. I'm not going to just sit back and let this continue. I don't care how many battles it takes!!