How to punish a SD6 that knows you cant spank her
OK My question is this, I need ideas on how to punish my SD6 when MOM and DAD wont spank her. I spanked her one time and it was the end of the world. Keep in mind her dad and I have her full time. We have taken away TV, Toys, enforced cleaning, took away grandmas house for the weekend. We cant take away going to Moms for the weekend. Not allowed to spank, Tried timeouts, tried to have her write sentences about what she did wrong. NOTHING IS WORKING it seems like its getting worse. Please help !!!
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When you take away toys does
When you take away toys does she ever get them back? I don't smack my own daughter. but if she's really playing up i take her favourite toys or books to the local charity shop. dvds i sell.
If she thinks she's just going to get them back its no intensive to behave. if she knows once she's naughty they could end up in charity she quickly does as i say. plus its a good excuse to have a clear out too.
Yes she does get them back. I
Yes she does get them back. I once told her to point out her favorite toy cause we were taking it away from her. LOL She pointed at a ball LOL that was a funny day. Her dad is not comfortable with the idea of taking them for good, and honestly she really doesnt play with toys all that much anymore anyways. Yes I did spank her one time she had been being really bad in school I had got many phones calls from the teacher and the princible we talked to her told her that she needed to stop being bad and just listen to the teacher. That next day I got a letter sent home a whole 2 page letter of everything she had done bad just that day. So concidering all her toys, tv, everything was already taken away last thing I could think of was this so it scared her more then anything but of course she told mom and I was told by her that thats not allowed. My thought back to her was yes this is your daughter living in my home under my rules and she is not doing well so I asked her what her suggestions were... she had none.
My daughter is as bull headed
My daughter is as bull headed as they come. I've never spanked my kids, but with this one I wanted to on more than one occasion. This may sound cruel, but you need to figure out what's important to her and adapt that in a punishment. Discipline sucks, I hate it. Sometimes adult reason only seems to escalate her adolecent defiance, so once she was required to sit within my sight no matter what. If I was in the kitchen, she was right there. If I was folding laundry, she was right there. When I was cleaning the bathroom, guess what? Yup, right there. It was maddening at times because her mouth was rampid and loud. I kept my cool and didn't let her know how furious she was making me. And believe me at times I wanted to scream and lash out. After a few hours, she started to understand the "you don't have to like the rules, you just have to respect them" point. I'm not going to say it's been roses from then on....but it gave me some peace for a bit. Then came puberty....
Ya Im getting worried if we
Ya Im getting worried if we are having problems this early on then what is to come with teenage years. If I made her sit within my sight she would only have to sit in one spot all day lol my house is little. That is creative though I will give that a try she cant sit still.
this was great to read! You
this was great to read! You are like a angel sent to him! I wish WISH I could have a relationship like this with her. There is so much inbetween Example, she goes to moms house every other weekend and a few days before she goes its like she knows she is going because the refusal to do anything come in to play. And for the 10-15 min that her mom is here she 100% treats me badly in front of her. I know while at moms there is negative thigs talked about so when I get her back I deal with a bad attitude, and a dad that does not disapline at all. Also not all her fault, Im dealing with the issue of not having my own son with me, my previous post explains alot more. Just finding it hard to bond and put in life skills at the same time. Not saying I wont try this I will try to open up with her There might still be a chance that this could happen and that would be amazing.
^^^ THIS ^^^ I agree with
^^^ THIS ^^^
I agree with this wholeheartedly. I think it is important for ALL kids, not only ones that are considered ADHD.
This is the exact approach I started taking with SS when his behavior began to appear "ADHD". I started talking to him, having conversations about life and school. About other kids behavior and why they shouldn't act that way. I let HIM give me the reasons why their behavior is wrong and tell me what their parents should do about it. We have alot of interesting conversations. It is shocking how in tune an 8 year old boy is when you start asking questions!
What it sounds like you need
What it sounds like you need to do here, is get creative!!! Washing walls/cleaning/ picking up dog poo in the backyard does the trick with ss10!!!
Anything else simply did not work. If you find/think of something she doesnt like, then youll find that paydirt your looking for!!
Best of luck!!
LOL we did this just this
LOL we did this just this past weekend, she had to pick up all the pine cones in the backyard including some of the above you commented. Still went back to same behavior.
Is she getting any positive
Is she getting any positive attention? That is what most kids crave and if they can't get it, they'll act out to get it. My SD is a royal pain in my arse. The only thing that keeps her behavior in check is her coveted one-on-one time with dh.
He takes time for her, JUST HER (with my encouragement and approval) every single day. Not a lot of time. He spends time interacting with her, etc. all day, but this time is just for her, no interruptions from me, from BS1, from work. Its maybe 15 minutes at the end of the day and then 1/2 hour game night once a week. Except when she misbehaves or refuses to listen, she loses minutes. She hates that. And we no longer give her the negative attention she craves. She knows the consequence. She starts with her attitude, she gets one word: "CORNER", second offense is lost time with daddy.
We use the corner first because its a good warning without being hollow and gives her a chance to remember "daddy time". And we've found that if she loses daddy time every day, it becomes less of a deterrent because she doesn't remember having it, so you have to tread that line.
It took some time to get it to work, but it did work.
She gets a lot of daddy time
She gets a lot of daddy time I work nights so he has her from the time she gets out of school until bedtime. I only have her in the mornings and on my days off work. Daddy is very playful with her and talks alot with her. Still our issue is mainly her is school, she acts up in school skips classes by going to the bathroom and not returning till the end of the math or reading. Hides under her desk is a new behavior which honestly shocked me cause she never has done that before. Wont bring home her homework mainly just because she does not want to do it. We have her in a after school activity also thinking that being around other kids and being active would help but it has had no change. This has been going on last school year and this school year, She is only in grade 1. Just last week I received 7 phone calls from the teacher on her bad behavior. We are at our end of ideas here ! Need help...
Throw a bucket of cold water
Throw a bucket of cold water on her?
OH LOL Wow you just brought
OH LOL Wow you just brought back memories lol My dad once hosed me down when I was little cause I kept complaining about being hot. I cant do that to her though. Thank you for the memory though : )