A lot of you reading are telling me that my SD2 is just "being 2" BUT some of you have skid's that started having the same behavior as my SD2 at the same age that are now terrors. No offense to any of you or your skid's but THAT is what I'm trying to avoid. I don't want to do the whole "she's just a baby" but then she's 6 and is just as rotten or worse! BTW I have reason to believe she will progress because she has in the last 10 months to who she is now. Some things have gotten better but now her behavior toward her siblings is just ridiculous.

--------------

This morning as BD2, SD2, and SS4 played BD2 asked for a particular toy. I have it to her and in her excitement she showed it to SS4 and SD2 telling them how it had been found (it had been lost). SD2 immediately snatched it from her while I was standing there and so I told SD2 to give it back and play with a different toy. She started pouting. SS4 was sitting there playing with his train tracks and car so SD2 started to try to take his tracks apart. He told her to stop and I then told her to stop taking from people and to get a toy out of the toy box instead. She then cried for 5 minutes, I tried to tell her she has to play nicely and to just play with something else, she kept crying, so I walked away to talk to DH. When I came back BD2 was handing SD2 the toy she had so that SD2 would stop crying. While this is an excellent trait in BD2 it's not okay for SD2 to think if she cries loud enough then people will give her what she wants. So I told BD2 that she didn't have to give SD2 the toy simply because she was crying, I told SD2 "that is not how we handle things, we don't just cry and scream until we get our way, find another toy to play with." she kept screaming, I walked away, and DH told her to stop or she would go to timeout. I can see their room from my hallway and I heard BD2 fussing so I looked and sure enough SD2 was trying to take the toy again. At this point I told DH to just take the toy. I then had to explain to BD2 she wasn't in trouble and hadn't done anything wrong but that I didn't want to have to fuss with her sister about not taking the toy so that's why DH and I just put it up. I don't think that was fair to BD2 that she can't play with it simply because SD2 won't play nicely. But it was the easiest resolve. But then I struggle with BD2 feeling unfairly punished and if that's okay..??

About 10 minutes later we heard BD2 start crying and saying "get off my bed!" So DH goes in the room and SD2 was trying to sit on top of BD2 so he obviously made her get down. BD2 then moved so that SD2 could sit there instead of fighting but DH told her "BD2 you don't have to move so that SD2 can have what she wants. SD2 find somewhere else to sit." Again, not because it isn't good that BD2 would be willing to share but he doesn't want SD2 thinking that bullying is an effective way to get what she wants. SD2 started crying and was just sent to timeout.

Maybe 10-15 minutes later they were all playing and all 3 came out to get water. They then went back to playing. SD2 was in the dining area finishing her water when SS4 came in for another drink of his. SD2 then ran into their room to take the toy he had. When SS4 went back to the room he told her to give it back, that it was his toy he was playing with, and she ignored him and kept walking away down the hall. He conceded and was walking away when I asked "SD2 did SS4 have that toy?" she dropped to the ground and started pouting. I asked again, "SD2 did SS4 have that?" she handed it back to him without even answering the question and started crying. The fact that she gave it back without even answering to me suggests that she knew she was wrong to have taken it to begin with she just wanted to see if she could get away with it and had I not stepped in SS4 would have let her.

I see how her tantrums, inability to share, and aggressive behavior are starting to effect her siblings. They are thinking they have to do what she wants because she is crying or being aggressive. I don't want them to think that is the case. I don't want SD2 to think that is the case either.

I find myself disliking her more and I know that sounds awful because she is 2 but it is true. I feel like I am constantly protecting SS4 and BD2 from her so it puts me on the defensive toward her. I don't want anyone mistreating my children, ESPECIALLY their own sister!

This is not a vent, this is not an attempt to get you to empathize, it's an example of SD2's behavior so that someone either with a bio child or skid that behaved this way can tell me how to help her behavior change.