I hear so often about babymamas, guys who have them, and women who marry these said guys. It seems like there are so many guys out there with kids from flings/ex-girlfriends that chances are my SDs might date one.

I also hear about all the drama that can ensue in these situations. Many exes are bitter that the man has moved on and married someone else instead of them. Many of these exes and the men in question didn't know each other too well before they got it on and so they can't agree on anything when it comes to child rearing. And the ex/baby mama often opposes the wife's having anything to do with the child and uses every opportunity to separate the man from his wife.

Many men go along with this to pacify the baby mama. However, what does that teach the child? Doesn't it teach them that a woman their father isn't married to is of more importance him than his wife? Doesn't it teach them that it is ok to exclude the SM? Doesn't it feed into their fantasy of mom & dad getting back together? It seems to me that the best way to help them accept the facts that mom and dad were never married and never will be, that Dad is happily married to SM, and that Dad and SM will never divorce is to draw some good, clear, strong boundaries and not allow the skids and BM any opportunity to even attempt to exclude SM.

Can these kids learn the value of marriage by seeing Dad happily married to SM, even though he never married their mom? Is it possible to have a strong marriage when there is a baby mama involved? Like I said, I hear so much about baby mamas/exes. Even when I'm not on this site, I hear about some famous celebrity who had a child with an ex-BF/GF/fling. And given that so many single guys these days have kids, chances have increased that one or both of my SDs will date/marry a guy with a baby mama.