I enjoyed the night without him :)

So, last night my husband stayed with his kids while their mom was at work, at her house. I am totally fine with this. I had the house to myself, and proved a point. Go ahead and leave if you say. I woke up early, enjoyed coffee on the couch with my dog, read the paper....got extra hot for work, and then even had time to stop and grab another coffee at my favorite spot

As I was driving, I received a call. Of course hubby: "I'm sorry. I love you". Its really all I am ever looking for. So, the kids are coming to the house for the weekend even though I'm nervous, but if the school nurse says they're clear- then I am good with it. Its not about not seeeing them, or not wanting them around- its about the spreading of the problem between houses (unnecessary). I am good for now...but still, of course I am the one that's picking them up from school! Always the mom, and never gonna be the mom all at once.

Sigh.

But after my night alone, i'm thinking separate bedrooms?? lol.

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So, last night my husband

So, last night my husband stayed with his kids while their mom was at work, at her house. I am totally fine with this.
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I would be DIVORCED! I am amazed at what you put up with from this guy!

Haha. That's what my neighbor

Haha. That's what my neighbor said- but here's the thing. I own the house, I have two degrees, I own the car. I have a life. I can leave him at any time if I really want and he would be the one that would suffer....oh- and there's a pre-nup cuz I come from money. I have all the true power and he knows it.

The compromise was that I didn't want the kids to be at our house until they were cleared of the lice. Thursday's are our night- he had to do something. So, he went to them. FINE WITH ME. BM was at work, never even saw each other- and even if they did, that relationship was dead long before it was even over.

And also, if he left. I would be OKAY with it. Just like my mother always said "You can only control yourself. Make sure you can take care of yourself. No one else will ever be there forever, but you can be". So here I am, ready for anything.

I agree with you Willow!!!

I agree with you Willow!!! Thankfully my BF CANT STAND HIS XW...so THAT right there would NEVER happen!!!

Not because I am jealous or controlling or what not but simply because that is COMPLETELY unnecessary for my BF to be doing. I know he would not want or like me to be doing that with my ex and I would completely understand and respect his feelings as he does mine. I get where you are coming from OP but there is no way in hell that would be happening on my watch even if he was civil with bm.

They are "civil" but not at

They are "civil" but not at all friends. It doesn't bother me. I know them both. She has a child younger than my husbands youngest and she has become obsessed with her father, just like she was with my husband when they were together. She is a stage five clinger, so she couldn't care less about my man- she's all about trying to lock down the new guy.

I have all the true power and

I have all the true power and he knows it.
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Oh honey...I don't know if I want to hug you or slap you! lol. jk

You may have all of the money, but he seems to have all of the power. You seem way to nice for this mess. Good luck girl.

Thanks. I think I am nice.

Thanks. I think I am nice. But sometimes that doesn't hold true }:)

I will make sure to be realistic about things. I truly am just trying to make a marriage work that is difficult due to too many people being involved- ya know? Its like 4 kids, two that aren't either of ours, then his two. His ex, her new guy, the grandparents, etc. When there are too many players on the field, you get a penalty- ya know what I mean?

Like I said. Life would be okay without all of it too. But I prefer my family, so I will try.

Thanks for all the advice.

Just trying to ensure I have

Just trying to ensure I have the information correct.

Your DH spent the night with his kids at BM's house while BM was at work. This is the same house that has been having an out break of lice.

You need to call your DH have him make an appt with his PCP and be cleared of lice before HE is allowed back in the house as well. Perhaps then he will get the truth of it is the LICE that are not welcome, not the children.

Yes! He shampoo'd there. So,

Yes! He shampoo'd there. So, lets hope that took care of it. He has a buzz cut as well, so I am hoping that helps out. I told him kids and him not allowed in house with same clothes on. Brought them a change from my house...they will get ready in the car before they come back in and their clothes are going straight to the wash!

Here's a kicker! I teach in

Here's a kicker!

I teach in the school district that my SD's are in....called their school nurses. Their BM sent them back to school without telling the school that the kids have lice! Thank God I am thorough and the nurses are now checking the girls to make sure they are clear. If they are not cleared by school nurse I am standing my ground and they will NOT be at the house this weekend.

And my husband can leave for all I care!

did you inform your husband

did you inform your husband that the only way they were coming to the house is if they were cleared? since you are the one picking them up, if they still have lice, what will you do?

i have to hand it to you, you are very self assured. i'd go CRAZY knowing my husband is still close enough to his ex wife that she doesn't mind him being in her home with all her personal stuff there. where does he sleep? sounds a little too intimate to me. and i would think they would have to be AT LEAST friendly for him to do this. if he were to truly leave you, if everything is yours, where would he go?

Yes. He's been told all about

Yes. He's been told all about it and he knows what the deal is...

good for you!!

He didn't sleep there. He

He didn't sleep there. He works nights. So he watched the kids and then went to work after they were in bed. The eldest is 19, BM didn't get home till 3 am (she is a bartender).

If he leaves he goes to his mom I guess. I don't know. At that point it wouldn't be my problem.

And I am self assured. I have my life together (my own that I control- that is). I would be fine no matter what. I think as a woman it is very important to be self sufficient. Men can't always run the show. He might have more control over the kids than I do, but he can't take away who I am.

"So he watched the kids and

"So he watched the kids and then went to work after they were in bed. The eldest is 19"

I'm confused.... the eldest SD is 19? She was there? So his need to be there was what exactly???

THe 19 year old is not his

THe 19 year old is not his bio daughter. She was out until 9:30. Then came home to sleep. He just got the kids to bed....its really no big deal

i agree women should be

i agree women should be self-sufficient, however i'd still be concerned about him spending time in BM's home and being comfortable enough to bathe/shampoo. to me, that is much more than civility. but, if you're ok with it, then it's not a problem.

I'm not a jealous person. She

I'm not a jealous person. She wasn't home. I couldn't care less. And as far as if they were hooking up behind my back? Good luck, cuz she's a nutcase that he divorced already and he can have all the crazy he wants. Plenty of fish left in the sea for me.

Kids are cleared by school

Kids are cleared by school nurse! Yayy.. now I can enjoy the beautiful weekend with them.

You are here

I enjoyed the night without him :)

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