DH is doing chemo. SS 19 is living here, has been borrowing money from his dad right and left and has not repaid a single dime. SS occupies the laundry room for days at a time, leaves his dishes lying dirty and is currently got his stuff spread over Three rooms in the house. I get a little aggravated by it all.
It's a rule that the first paycheck is their own, often it's a partial pay period and it's a feel good thing for kids to have a paycheck, right?
I broached the issue with DH yesterday about a reasonable amount of rent for SS to be paying, and repaying what he owes. I do not want to leave the kid broke! DH is not going to charge him anything at all??
Last night DH and I came in to a disgusting sink filled with pots, utensils, RICE and VEG! I pointed it out to DH and DH went ahead and cleaned it up? Then DH was cleaning out the bird cage (it's huge) and he was huffing and puffing so I suggested that he ask SS to help him....OMG you'd think I'd asked for a kidney!! Then DH stayed up and dealt with SS's laundry? I am at a total loss here, I know disengagement is hard but to watch my husband struggling, while doing chemo, with what is SS's responsibility is just too hard to bear and not say something. World war three erupted! I am still not willing to speak to DH and I am sick and tired of it all somehow becoming my fault. I am such a bitch, it would seem, and I have a vendetta against the boy? I just do not want to come home to that crap when there's no need for it! I left the sink clean.
I already know that DH can 'persuade/cajole' the boy to 'help' if he wants to, soooo really...why am I even upset? I am disengaged, right? Sometimes, though, DH will battle on, and on, like the good enabler that he is, and it's hard to watch and do/say nothing. I am an idiot, you'd think I'd learn by now huh? I still feel like I am being subdued into silence whenever I mention anything about SKids though, disengaging seems now like the coward's way out, maybe next time I will challenge the boy and if he disrespects me then I'll deal with him and tell DH to butt out and mind his own business! I am not doing the dishes, nor am I going to deal with the refrigerator shelf that is on the counter, DH put it there for some bizzare reason? I am not going to kow tow to passive aggressive bullshit.