Keeping skids while your SO/Dh is away???
I know some of you are full time SM's but for those of us that aren't. Do you keep your skids on your DH/SO time if he is gone?? SO is going on a business trip and it will be for 1/2 the week that SD is supposed to be with us. I have no desire to keep her while he is gone. She can stay with her BM. He seemed kinda hurt that I didn't want to keep her. My reason is two fold one I just can't stand the constant neediness of SD but also because her BM is bat shit crazy!!!! I am 99% sure she will pull some BS while he is gone if SD is with me and I don't want to freaking deal with it.
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^^^^This^^^^^ Before he finds
^^^^This^^^^^
Before he finds a babysitter, he needs to check the CO to see if Mom has ROFR.
Right of first refusal.
Right of first refusal.
Which allows the other bio parent to decide first if they would prefer to have that time with their child, instead of kid(s) going with a babysitter, grandparent, etc.
However IMO its pretty shitty
However IMO its pretty shitty of the NC to have that attitude.
If DH is out of town when his
If DH is out of town when his kid is supposed to be over, then she stays at home.
There is no reason for your SD to be with you when your DH is gone. He can deal with his hurt feelings, because it has nothing to do with either one of them. His kid is not your responsibility. He's thinking Bonding Time with SM!!! Yay. You're thinking long term babysitting gig.
He'll get over it. She should be with her mother if your DH isn't available.
NO WAY!
NO WAY!
No no and no.
No no and no.
Guess I am the odd man out
Guess I am the odd man out here. DH actually travels for work and is gone a lot, SS still comes home. Custody is 50/50. This coming week he is gone Sunday- Friday. SS will be with me Sunday, Monday, Wed and Thurs. BM tried to fight it... she lost. SS is better off at our home. She can't seem to get him to school on time, help him with his homework etc etc.
It doesn't bother me, I love SS and it truly is what is best for him.
I always did. It worked for
I always did. It worked for us.
I wish BM here was supportive
I wish BM here was supportive like that.
There are many reasons we do it this way. One being, BM is a pisspoor mom, and the more time he can spend with us, the better... but also because SS shouldn't feel like a "guest" in his own home. This is his home, he can be here no matter who is home or not home. He has been raised with my girls as his sisters, and he needs to be a part of the family. PERIOD.
DH hasnt gone anywhere in a
DH hasnt gone anywhere in a while, but if he does I will be the one watching SD. She lives with us fulltime, BM is far away, so thats just how it is. DH has done the same for me when I traveled, he took care of my BioSon and its not a big deal.
Good!! I started to feel a
Good!! I started to feel a teensy bit bad that his feelings were hurt but not anymore
His kid. His responsibility.
His kid. His responsibility. He had that kid with bm therefore the kid(s) are his/her problem to work out who will be watching them while dh is away. Marrying a man with kids does not make you an automatic babysitter, maid, chauffeur, etc.
Watching skids should be your CHOICE not expected or demanded of you as his wife/gf. If you want to watch his kids while he is away that is your call. Only you have to live with what happens if/when you keep them in your care. Never let anyone make you feel like you have to or like you are a bad person if you DON'T watch/take them. Not your kid, not your responsibility. IMHO.
Hence why I said it is an
Hence why I said it is an SM's choice. To each their own. That is just me, I wouldn't. I have my BS 24/7 with no help from my Ex at all and my BF has skid EOWE & 2 hours every Wedn. so the little time he does get skid he should either take him or leave him with bm because he is not nor do I want him to be my responsibility. I take care of mine and expect nothing from my BF and he does the same/should do for me, and that is what works for us and our relationship.
I kept my ss once for a whole
I kept my ss once for a whole YEAR while my dh was in Iraq. BM continued to take her every other weekend visitation.
>>>>Fuck them HARD and FAST
:jawdrop: :jawdrop:
>>>>Fuck them HARD and FAST and PUBLICLY. YIKES.
"At this point I hate the
"At this point I hate the sound of their voices, the look of their faces and the fact that they breathe my air. And that includes FH. Fuck them. Fuck them HARD and FAST and PUBLICLY."
Wow. Why are you with their father, then? Isn't that setting YOU up for unhappiness?
She said "that includes FH".
She said "that includes FH". I am thinking maybe she is contemplating this relationship??
I always kept my skids when
I always kept my skids when DH was gone and still would. BUT they are good kids and we actually have a good time together.
^^^yes^^^ It would be a
^^^yes^^^
It would be a completely different story if SS was a bad kid and I didn't enjoy being with him.
SO will ask BM if she can
SO will ask BM if she can keep her and I am sure she will say yes, if he makes any other arrangements SD will pitch a fit. She will most likely want to stay home with me but not gonna happen. That will be my mini vacation and get the house ready for company time :):)
I always did. When DH and I
I always did. When DH and I married he traveled pretty much every week at least 2 to 3 days and he and BM had 50/50 custody. So when it was Dh's time and he was traveling, I had SD. It worked out OK until SD, DH and BM all three decided to be total tools and then I pulled the plug. Told DH and BM that if they didn't like me disciplining SD for her behavior to ME while I was watching her, she needed to stay with BM when DH wasn't there. And that's how it remained until DH lost that job. I'd never do it again.
If you are not comfortable
If you are not comfortable with it don't do it. I started watching SS when DH is at work and it set a precident and know I have become a babysitter constantly for him and for his ex wife. Just be prepared that if you agree once it will become more then that.
Yes, I keep them, but there
Yes, I keep them, but there is no other choice. BM has not seen them in almost a year and lives across the country and my DH is away on business for up to 270 days of the year, in fact he is gone right now, has been for two weeks and will be away for over another week. Back for 5 days for thanksgiving, then away again until the week before christmas. I am home with them (SD6, SS5) all the time. It sucks but what can I do. Honestly its not so bad because we got married three years ago, and with the exception of a collective total of 4 months, they have always been with us. My DH is supportive, and I have resigned myself to this life. I actually do like my Skids most of the time and (of course) that helps significantly.