Nice move Uberskank......way to tell your kid it's all about the CS she brings into you.
DH's kid was over this weekend. She graduates from HS in 2014. She'll turn 18 at the beginning of her senior year.
While we're eating dinner on Saturday night, she said Uberskank told her that in order for DH's kid to continue to collect CS after she graduates from HS is to go the local community college and live with Uberskank. Or try and get into a 4 year college and live in a dorm. But she would lose CS if she moved away, went to a CC in another state and lived with her girlfriends.
Guess what DH's kid is planning to do after graduation? That's right, she and her two closest friends want to move one state away, get an apartment together and go to community college (all three girls F'd around and a lost their opportunity to get into a 4 year from the start).
She was nearly in tears because this plan has been in the works for a while. In fact, she had spent the prior evening with these two friends and she was basically telling them that she'd be stuck in her small town with her mother and sisters until she could transfer to a 4 year college. Both DH and I assured her that Uberskank was incorrect. That as long as she took a certain number of credits and had passing grades, CS would continue until she was 21.
She kept disputing what we were saying, insisting Uberskank was correct. So I finally said "Look, there is a state run DCS office. Go to their website, get their number and call them. Explain what your mom told you and that you were confused. That way you'll be getting the information straight from the source and not from your parents."
All I could think of after this conversation was what a stellar job Uberskank did, letting her kid know she only cares about how much CS she gets for her.
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She is planning on going to
She is planning on going to college but neither she nor her friends have the grades for a 4 year right now. They are going to work their way through school and start with community college. I admire the fact they plan on getting jobs, moving away from their parents and to school.
This isn't about DH paying CS. This is about Uberskank trying to manipulate her child into continuing to live with her so SHE can get the CS instead. This isn't a slam on DH's kid.
In our state, CS will continue until she is 21 as long as she is registered and attends college, is taking a certain number of credits and is passing her classes. It doesn't matter where she lives, as long as she is fulfilling the terms of the CS laws.
CS will go to Uberskank until
CS will go to Uberskank until DH's kid turns 18.
After 18, his kid will receive the payments directly. Though I'm assuming she will turn them over to Uberskank because she'll be living under her roof until DH's kid graduates from HS.
However after DH's kid moves out and goes to college, well then nothing will go to Uberskank. Sounds like Uberskank is beginning to realize she might actually have to get a job after DH's kid graduates from HS.
I hope Uberskank doesn't try
I hope Uberskank doesn't try to guilt the kid into giving her the money anyway. That is what our BM would do.
Nowhave5 - I edited my OP to
Nowhave5 - I edited my OP to explain the CS part a little better.
Uberskank tried very hard to
Uberskank tried very hard to keep DH and his kid from having a relationship, but somehow they have managed a somewhat decent one despite all of the s**t Uberskank has put him through.
The other two dads are not as fortunate. Both of DH's kids' little sisters are messed up bad. One of the dad's is so traumatized from dealing with Uberskank that he only pays CS and refuses to see his child. The other Dad is trying once again to get Uberskank to court so he can see his own kid.
It's a truly messed up situation.
If my SD only knew that at
If my SD only knew that at one time, her mother tried to get social security by claiming SD was retarded. She also tried the same thing to get more money in the divorce. Didn't work either time ('cuz it's not true).
BM waited an extra year to start SD in school, then had her held back a grade. Which automatically meant 2 extra years of CS for DH.
Also, SD and her psycho bitch mother tried to keep it a secret when SD got married at 18. SD spilled the beans within days of the marriage, and don't you know we RAN to CSE with a copy of that marriage license!
Oh god, I can see Uberskank
Oh god, I can see Uberskank doing this too!
This isn't a worry for DH. His kid is all about getting out of her town and getting into college. She wasn't so gung ho about it when she should have been, and now it's community college to start off. But she and Uberskank have bumped heads quite a few times.
DH's kid is chomping at the bit to get into college and get away from her mother.
Again....in the state we live
Again....in the state we live in, DH is legally bound to pay CS to his child until she is 21, as long as she is enrolled in college, taking a certain number of credits and is passing her classes.
Please stop trying to make this the issue.
Where we live CS is paid
Where we live CS is paid right up until the child graduates from post secondary education even if they go until they are 22. As long as they are maintaining a minimum 60% course load and are not married.
That is similar here, except
That is similar here, except it's simply cut off at 21. I forgot to mention the kid cannot be married or emancipated.
DH believes paying the CS until she's 21 will be worth it if it helps get her away from her mother and an education so she is able to have a steady career down the road.
Just to clarify, DH doesn't
Just to clarify, DH doesn't have an issue with his kid going away to school and collecting CS for her expenses. It's why it goes to 21 years in our state.
If she screws up and drops out, CS ends. Or if she screws up and drops classes or doesn't pass, CS ends.
It's all on her to do what's right to get the extension until she is 21.
I don't have an issue, because our finances are separate and none of my money is involved.
In the state our CS order is
In the state our CS order is in, CS continues until HS graduation. Your SD is about three months older than mine. DH is ABSOLUTELY CONVINCED that BM is going to try to talk him into continuing CS until after college.
Me, I say, take us to court. That'll give us a change to put SD16 on the stand. See, what BM doesn't know is that SD16 will be sneaking her can't-live-without treasures (money, which BM steals from her, journals, electronics) out to her friends houses before graduation. On graduation day, the plan is to hand over her phone (which BM pays for) and take off with us.
We've got college planned out and don't need a dime from BM, not that she has a penny to spare.