What is her IQ? lol

Could it be that she’s thinking DH will  give it all to SS and as his mother she’ll be able to take him back and have control of the money?

CUCKOO*scratch_one-s_head*

It may be one degree less greedy.  She may be looking for him to put her child with him in his will so that the evil stepmother won't spend it all and end up with the kid getting nothing from his dad.

In a way, I don't 100% disagree that parents should look out for their kids in some way when there are new spouses (who may have other kids) in the picture.  My father was one of 5 sons.. 4 full and one half son.  Well.. the lion's share of his estate went to the stepmother who kept that along with money from her next marriage and when she passed it went to her children.. none came back to my father or his other brothers with the exception of the one who was her bio with my grandfather. 

Of course there are always wrinkles in each situation.  Like in my situation, my DH did not come into the marriage with much of anything.  I owned my own home and have been the much better wage earner for most of our marriage.  Now, we have property together that my DH probably has much less in monetary contribution.  But, he has contributed in other ways.  Now, we don't have shared kids.. and I have no kids.. but if I did, I could see wanting to leave more to my own bios because I have had a greater hand at amassing the wealth.

But, there also is the matter of the remaining spouse that might need access to the deceased's financial assets to live and care for themselves.. through an illness or whatever.  Certainly, they would want to remain in the home I would imagine in most cases.

But, it is good to also see how an estate will be distributed because it may vary (in cases where no will exists).  In my state, my skids would get a good size portion of my DH's assets if no will is in place.. but we have one that leaves it all to me.

A friend from long ago (we aren’t in touch anymore) lost her hubby. 

In his will he’d left a large amount to his son with his mother (Gma) as the trustee. BM had been out of the picture for years, she was a drug addict and had given up her son. In fact DH went to jail for about 6 months (neither of these parents were great) and the son stayed with my friend. 

Once he’d passed, guess who shows up loving her son and wanting him back? Saying that DH had threatened her to make her stay away. Son was Thrilled his mom wanted him and off they went into the sunset. I think he was 10-11 at the time.

Until Gma wouldn’t release any of the money. BM tried taking her to court, wanted to use the inheritance to pay the lawyer!

She lost, gave the kid to Gma and disappeared again. Leaving behind a broken, angry 14-15 year old. 

How does she know he's writing out his will?  

She actually told you that she thinks, expects your husband to leave her money in his will?

Dont you think it is time for your husband to fix address this with her?

She might be a highly trained professional but it seems her sense of entitlement as gubm trumped that.

She really thinks he would leave her money in the will? Why does she even think that now that they are divorced? What is in their divorce papers? In the UK there is usually a part that says neither of you have a claim on the other after divorce is settled. Is it that she thinks if he were to die before SS is majority age without a will that she can then claim on behalf of her son as he will still be a dependant? Thats a possibility. Also she will probably be wanting your DH to leave all to his son and if he is a minor at that time then BM will get control of the money as his mother.

Just out of interest, the laws here in europe are very different to UK and US laws. It is determined by the government. Inheritance is divided automatically between the surviving spouse and any children. 50% for spouse, other 50% to be divided between the children. This is how the law sees it. In my DH's case, when his mother passed he was supposed to inherit one eighth of his mothers share of his parents wealth, Land, home and any savings, cash, investments. He is one of four children. In the end he got nothing but the inheritance tax bill. I was outraged to say the least. Not about him not getting money but they sent him a tax bill for money he had not and would not receive. I just couldn't understand how that worked. It doesn't happen in the UK.

What had happened was that his father had 'fruitful use' of it all and it went to him. In my mind thats fine, in the UK it would all have gone to him but the tax bill coming to us was unacceptable. We would have had to take him to court to get the money to then pay the tax bill. In the end he decided to pay the tax for all children regardless of ability to pay, and the idea is that then comes off the amount they receive when he passes away. So, that was dealt with.

What I don't understand is the law behind this system. Law says that percent of the money belongs to the children but  in fact he gets to keep it and have 'use' of it. I get that in the case of property, he can't then be turned out of his home by horrible people who might want the cash and not care. BUT the use is 'fruitful' use, this mean any cash, investments and savings should not be touched but he gets the interest on them. All fine. BUT what if that said parent then spends it all before he passes and there is none left... you have then paid tax on money never received. Makes no utter sense to me at all. Also it means that kids cannot be disinherited (or skids). For that reason DH and I are looking into how to bypass that. He does not want his estranged adult daughter to get anything but it seems its very hard to achieve that under this system. Be glad you are in the UK.

*glad to hear that he is thinking of a trut for SS, without BM being in charge of it. Best way to go.

I think the next time she brings it up he should say FINE, I'll put you in my will. You'll get everything as long as you use it to look after SS and never bring it up to me again. I swear if I hear ONE. MORE. WORD. I'll take you out of the will!

Of course he would never actually do it but maybe it would shut her up for awhile.

Or it could make her hire a hit man, maybe not such a good idea after all.

I know that DH's son thinks that DH will inherit my assets (I'm older with no children) and that he will then inherit MY money from DH.  He's so wrong.  I've nailed this with a trust that pays DH a modest income, but other than that DH inherits nothing for him to leave to anyone.

I sincerely doubt if DH has mentioned any of that to SS.  So SS is going to be surprised and pissed when he cannot get his grubby paws on any of my money.

Our BM is exactly the same way, greedy about money.  I swear though, it's more about stubbornness than the money itself.  Our BM has no enjoyment of life.  She's doesn't like good food or travel.  She dresses like a slob.  She hates sex.  She does want an austentatious home though, even if she ends up losing it later in bankruptcy.  But it seems like she likes getting things just for the sake of "getting", even if it is something she doesn't want or can't enjoy.  Greed for the sake of greed.

When our BM saw DH's parents helping him move into his apartment on the opposite side of the parking lot, she saw FIL's beemer and said to herself, "I'm getting their money."  When BM's GF said, "Oh, he's cute," that cinched it.  And it doesn't matter how farfetched it is, she's going to get that money, dammit, she said it was HERS!  It's the only reason she's sticking around.  The ROI isn't going to be great though, because she sure is putting a lot of time and effort into this futile venture.  It's absolutely crazy.