refuses to buy right size
BM REFUSES to get the children proper fitting clothing. I swear she’ll get small stuff just to spite my partner sometimes.
This weekend we noticed that the little ones feet and toe nails are curling. We’ve had repeated issues with her sending the children in shoes that were too small and if my partner tries to say anything she goes ballistic. We’ve tried giving her better fitting shoes in the past only to have her send the child back in what appeared to be brand new shoes that were even smaller than the last pair. Don’t you dare throw away her stuff because that will bring hell.
I THOUGHT she was doing this selectively but seeing the boy’s feet tell me that’s not true.
We still regularly pick up the little one wearing 2T underwear. TRIED sending him home in 4/5T and she literally took a picture of the kid in his underwear with her fingers shoved down the waist band to prove they “fit”.
I’ve had to comfort the oldest who was balling when I refused to buy clothing the same size BM does because they was too small. The girl just kept saying “I wear a medium”. No honey you wore a medium last summer you need large now because you’re growing.
I’ve tried so hard to give benefit of the doubt because I know that kids grow fast but it’s like BM refuses to admit the kids are growing. Worst thing is sometimes the stuff the kids are wearing is really nice but that doesn’t make up for the fact it doesn’t fit and now it seems to be causing harm.
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All I've got is "what the
All I've got is "what the hell?".
I mean, honestly. I don't understand some people at all. Like, you just want to grab them and try and shake some sense in.
Buy the right size for your
Buy the right size for your house and let them wear BM's clothing to and from her house. Its not even worth the hassle. Her need to be right and MOTY is WAY more important then the skids being dressed in the correct sizes. When they get older, and realize that the other kids at school aren't wearing too small clothes, they will begin to understand. If you have to explain to anyone who asks you about it, just say they must have been with their mother that day and shrug your shoulders.
And NEVER let the clothes you buy go to her house. NEVER. She's made her rule so live by it and let it bite her in the butt down the road.
That's what we do and it's
That's what we do and it's been that way since the shoe incident. My mom was with me for that one and the child was crying because they hurt him so bad. I was furious because like I said just the last visit we sent the other ones and the ones he had on looked brand new. Not a scoff on them and he was 4 so you know how unlikey that is if they are more than 5 minutes old.
It just makes me mad because clearly he's wearing small all the time and not just to our house. We can only control our home so we can't fix this issue if she refuses to stop making him wear small shoes.
I'd buy them myself if I knew she'd let him wear them.
keep some flip flops on hand
keep some flip flops on hand for him. What an idiot she is.
We have everything he needs
We have everything he needs here. SO isn' above carring the boy to the car and handing her shoes when he needs to.
You throw out the wrong sized shoes...
As far as the too small shoes go, you throw them out and replace them. There's not really another option. They're hurting the kiddo.
The other stuff is annoying, but there's nothing you can do other than dress the kids appropriately when they're with you.
Our BM dresses the skids inappropriately, as well. Shoes are often too worn--sometimes with actual holes in SD's shoes (though SS's are always in good condition). SD was having knee and foot pain because BM had her in cheap Kmart shoes for the first half of the year, in spite of the pediatrician warning her that SD needs to wear "good" shoes. SS's are usually better kept, but he's the golden child.
SD thinks she wears 4s, but she should wear 6s. She's used to them being tight, and Mom tells her that she's getting fat if she asks for bigger. I think she still has her in Small T shirts, even though that's much too tight. (When she's with us, she's in L.)
There's not a fix to this level of dysfunction.
Does he go to day care? Does he wear clothing too small there?
In some juristrictions BM could be tip toeing UP to child neglect by not providing proper clothing. CPS might take a peek. When there is smoke there is fire. (not joking with this statement)
NOW is all fairness, maybe just maybe she is sending older clothing on the child to wear in route? Keeping the good stuff for her place? But I would have dh check witht he day care either by showing UP and looking OR by calling.
Proper fitting shoes are so important with toddlers. The too small clothing...no excuse but the shoes I would be really mad to. I am sorry...
Sarcastic comments below...but some parts are very VERY true.
HEY dh could do what I have heard other parents do, file a motion to change custody BECAUSE CP is not providing clothing. THEN throw in a few other things, child failing in day care well maybe not that.
Filing a motion to accuse mom of not provinding child clothing IS enough to be it in front of a Judge. IF mom really does provide clothing, thats ok, this will cause a stir FOR SURE. That is found on page 666 under cat c on how to cause problems for the ex inside that phantom book some people seem to have read. "HOW TO keep your x in family court AND make him broke AND make him pay pay pay'
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Poor little child. I hope his mommy buys some decent clothing with the cs your husbands sends for the child.
The kid is in preschool so
The kid is in preschool so anything he comes to us in he's worn all day. Again the clothes look nice but it's like she doesn't realize or want to admit they grow. I wish I could share the underwear rant when I dared to throw away the stained 2T pair he came in and sent him back in a pair of 4-5T. She HAS to be right.
It's not a money thing either. A few months ago the kid was happily talking about his new boots mom had just bought him that week. When we got home he had left them in the living room next to a pair of shoes we had for him. They looked small so I check and yep a size smaller then the ones we had which were already older and needed to be replaced soon.
With the oldest it's like BM is stuck on medium and doesn't even look at the girl. Last summer I had to battle with the child to get her into "large" bathing suit. Yet this weekend the clothes I washed to return them in were medium.
It's hard because I also understand my personal style is different then BM too. She has the 8 year old in leggings all the time with shirts that barely cover the waist and to me that a huge no. I don't mind leggings but I feel they should be paired with a longer shirt. I know sometimes my view of "tight" can be skewed.
But like you said small shoes on a young kid is a major issue and that's what I saw. The toe nails are pressing down and curling. His toes are starting to curl under each other. I know SOME of that can be genetics. My little ones partly under the one beside it just like my mom's and sister's but SO confirmed what he saw isn't "normal" for the kid.