BM Giving to much info!
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So BM has told SD13 that by law she can refuse to come over to DH if she wants to. Now SD anytime does not get her way brings that up.
DH and BM are having a little (well I think big disagreement) over SD going to stay the summer at her cousins house. She will be gone from June 16th until the 1st week of August. DH said no he isnt giving up his visiation, if BM needs help watching her she can stay with us. BM said SD wants to go and if she wants to she can. Right now we can not afford a lawyer to fight over this.
What will happen if BM lets her go with out DH approval. He has EOW visiation set up.
With out a lawyer you're
With out a lawyer you're going to have an uphill battle. Legally BM must follow the court ordered parenting plan if there is one. No a 13 year old can't decide for herself and BM allowing her to do this puts BM in contempt of the court. Call the police if the child is not released to you during your time. They may not help you get the child but you will have documentation from them showing that his court ordered parenting time was denied to him by BM.
If the child is with a cusion things might be a tiny bit different. You might have more ground during your time because she is not in the custody of her mother and your partner did not consent to her being there. It might be easier to have the police remove her from the other family members home. Again if not you have documentation.
You're going to need a lawyer and you'll need to deice how much you want to fight.
DH needs to document this.
A 13 year old cannot decide not to come for parenting time. DH needs to show up at the time and place that is in the CO to pick up his daughter. If BM is not there, he should call once and see if she is coming -or not if it will be a horrible call. He needs to document that he was there, take an identifying picture with a time and date stamp, or purchase something from a nearby store that has a time and date on the receipt. He can consider calling the police. They are not going to do much, but may do an incent report. He can get a copy of the report or at the minimum it will be in their system that he called.
He might also consider going to the cousins house and making an attempt to get her everytime she does not show up at the time and place where they are to meet according to the CO. He doesn't want to cause a huge scene. Depending on the department's policy, and the individual officer, they will talk to the aunt and SD - but they are probably not going to physically take her from the house if she won't go.
Is there an ROFR? If so, that will add weight to the contempt charge.
He should file contempt each time BM does not make SD available. He needs to show a pattern. He might be able to file on his own. In my state the forms are on-line and it is not too hard to do on your own.
After two or three he can take her to court - but he should really get a lawyer at that point. Since it sounds like this is going to keep happening, he should do what he can to stop it now.
SD is at the age where having her around when she doesn't want to be there is not going to be pleasant. But DH might be able to win at least this fight for the summer. He needs to be proactive and get the documentation.
That is called parental
That is called parental alienation. Like Dontfeedthetrolls said, if it's in the CO then skid has to visit dad.
SAD
The cousins live in another state over 13 hours away.
Would Dh threaten the other
Would Dh threaten the other family with across state line kidnapping charges if she goes? Would BM ieven test him if he counters back with legal consequences if she follows thru with SD going away? What is BM scared of most?? Use that as motivation.
I think she will send her
I think she will send her becasue she knows we can not afford legal fees right now.
The other family will not care they have feel that they have BM ok so its fine.
And if DH says no I think it would be hard to get SD to come over any more. And BM will back her not coming.
Well
I would tell SD that yes, she does get to have a voice. However this is decided by a judge and not her mother. So if her mother wants to take Dad to court this would be the best thing to do. If a judge says SD gets to make up her mind then get it signed off so no one is uninformed. If she REALLY wants to go then BM should take it to a judge. 13 yr olds are not permitted to drive or vote of get married for very sensible reasons. And 13 yr olds do not get to make the call where and when they will see their parents without a court order. Then SD can run back to mummy and get mummy to get in front of a judge before the big vacation. Like that will happen.
You don't need a lawyer to
You don't need a lawyer to file for contempt. Look up a sample for your state. It's called a Rule To Show Cause.
Or DH can kiss his relationship with SD goodbye. Which would be peaceful for you.
Ask your Dh this...
Ask your Dh this...
Would he object if he and BM were still together? Would he be able to go 6 weeks and not see her if they were an intact family?
Sometimes you have to let kids be kids and spend time and bond with their families.
Is it possible for your DH to go stay in that town and see his DD a few times during that 6 weeks?