Ashamed and embarassed!(long long ot)
After possibly the worst day with stepson yet.... (post details after the demon goes to sleep) dh is on the phone with his sister (super judgmental always right and has never had a money struggle in her life) skid yells as loud as he possibly can so that B can hear kmommys food stamps need to come in now iam HUNGRY and there's no food here! So she rants and raves about how food stamps is only for homeless people and crack heads and Yada ya da....iam about ready to either scream or cry..no iam not at all proud of my situation...but working only part time and dh only getting side jobs here and there...we need help...and I HATE that iam on those to begin with but with my kids to feed I desperately needed them cuz we do not make enough to survive as of right now and so I had to try to explain myself again and that yes we do have food but just Healthy foods *fruits ,veggies,wild rice and chicken* he means he has no sugary snacks and that dinner and breakfast and lunch weren't to his liking....iam so freakin embarrased
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How/why does such a young
How/why does such a young child even know you receive food stamps? I see no issue with getting assistance when you're going through a temporary tough time. Ignore the skid and the SIL.
He over heard his father and
He over heard his father and u talking about it this morning (they were both upset I didn' have bacon to cook them for breakfast) i feel like a complete government mooch because of this.i wish u could bury my head in some sand
If DH is not working
why is he upset over bacon? He knows money is tight ? Double winner, not working and ass h***
You are a tax payer, you've
You are a tax payer, you've contributed to the system and shouldn't feel ashamed to temporarily use benefits that are there for you.
So he still had a hot meal of
So he still had a hot meal of what? I'm assuming eggs and toast or pancakes and toast? I'd show the ungrateful little monster what it's like to eat great value cornflakes for a week and take his favorite toy/gaming system away. If he's old enough, volunteer in a soup kitchen and certainly make him apologize to you, DH and his Aunt for his disgusting outburst. Someone needs to be taught humility!!
You shouldn't feel ashamed. We all need help in our lives, there is no shame in that. You are still providing healthy meals for the family. Your DH should have handled him as soon as that sentence came out of his mouth. Now he'll know he can get away with it and keep being a little spoiled brat!
I too get food stamps and
I too get food stamps and THANK GOD for that! It helps out tremendously! F*** her opinion. I am definitely not homeless or a crackhead! *yahoo* Sometimes we need help, it's okay! It isn't a permanent thing and even if it was, who cares! It is none of her business and be fortunate you got the assistance...I sure am! Atleast you are doing what you need to do as a parent to make sure your kids can eat! So kudos to you!
Nothing to be ashamed of
your skid has something to be ashamed of with that crappy attitude. Good, healthy food on the table? Then STFU. I do hope your DH is correcting that bloody nonsense right away.
I can't figure out why your
I can't figure out why your husband is not ashamed.
The man has THREE kids, only works odd jobs and spends 10 hours a day playing video games. There wouldn't be a need for foodstamps if he would turn off the video games and go work in McDonald's and Target....until he can get the kind of job he had before.
Receiving assistance while doing everything in your power to support your children is one thing. Receiving assistance while you do odd jobs here and there then spend the rest of the time goofing off, is disgusting.
He should be humiliated.
Four. He's the father of
Four. He's the father of four kids.
His oldest , the OP's SS and then three children with OP. Twins , about to be two years old, and also another baby boy yet younger.
they were both upset I didn'
Dad needs to adjust his expectations and reign in his son. SS is emulating his dad.
There is no reason for you to be embarrassed. Dad should be embarrased that he is raising a rude son.
Bacon would not be on my next shopping list. It would be a long time before it appeared in my kitchen again.
Don’t be embarrassed! You
Don’t be embarrassed! You have no idea how many people just abuse that system! BM claims the girls on them and yet doesn’t have the girls. And in public housing, they’re literaly just avoiding getting jobs so they can get on stamps Nd not have to work. YOU though are using them just to get a little help. If anything that should be commended!
I’m sorry SS was a little s***. And I’m even more sorry that your SIL is a brat. But just know. You’re doing great. And it’s ojay to need a little extra help sometimes!
Actually, her husband can be
Actually, her husband can be added to the group of abusers.
The OP should not have to be on food stamps. She has an able bodied man sitting in her home playing video games instead of working. Her husband is no better than the BM and public housing folks you are talking about.
ProbablyAlready.... How many
ProbablyAlready.... How many people abuse the system? What percentage?
One adult works part time.
One adult works part time. The other adult works odd jobs here and there.
My ex's daughters' received food stamps. One year she had a big party for their youngest daughter. I was shocked when she posted pictures on Facebook. She had everything from burgers to crab legs. This was for a 3 year olds birthday party. I asked ex if he purchased all of that food for the party. His response was "Hell no, she used her stamps!".
I'm not one to monitor what a
I'm not one to monitor what a person chooses to purchase food-wise with their monthly allotment. Crab legs or sirloins or peanut butter and jelly. Makes no difference to me..... but when a person blows their month's availably on silly splurges, I don't want to hear them whine they have no cash left on their card for the remaining month yet to go.
The amount given monthly for SNAP depends on family household income and number size of family. The SS visits EOWE (however he has been there some additional this month on weekends), so the large majority of whatever is being purchased and consumed in the in OP's household is for and by the lazy husband, OP and three little kids under the age of two. OP probably qualifies for WIC also because of her three littles.
I begrudge no one who honestly needs a hand-up, a meal. However, have very little respect for a family with two able bodied adults and one or both of them fail to employ their selves and try to improve the situation. If nothing else, I figure if one is home unemployment, that parent is available for child tending while the other parent works one job, two jobs, three jobs... whatever it takes.
As I live in the same state as the OP and both my DH and I were state employees for 35 years, I know that our state also has a childcare supplemental/subsidized program which helps parents work and/or obtain higher education to improve the home's financial situations with the goal of leaving the rolls.
There should be nothing to be embarrassed about nor ashamed of applying and receiving temporary help when unexpected hard times hit (sudden unemployment and health issues for example) , but it's not meant to be long term nor should it become a lifestyle.
My two cents.
I couldn' t go back to my old
I couldn' t go back to my old job(first epideral for twins did not go well) that' why I work part time at a gas station (night time iam home with my kids during the day ) the majority of the assistance I get is only for the kids (yes skid too) and then whatever is left after is what I buy for the adults (I see no need for meats like steaks or pork I mostly buy hamburger meat so I can do pasta and tacos and such) then chicken but mostly veggies and whole grains but anyway the majority of what I make goes to things like diapers wipes and soaps...dh should have had a job by now and I'm just sort of stuck
Look into church pantries for
Look into church pantries for non-food items. Some carry more assorted items than others. I know my eighty-something mother who runs her church's pantry , goes out long and hard to acquire for her shelves non-foods. Yep, diapers, wipes, shampoo, laundry supplies, pet foods and the like.
I'm going to be very frank and tell you that the first thing that can go in your household are the video gaming electronics, wi-fi, any cable tv, pawning off at the game store the video games and other life unnecessary perks. Getting rid of all that crap your husband is addicted to and spends up to 10hrs a day playing on also may help encourage him to get up off his buns.
And yes, it is kind of your mother to generously fund a nice family get together where not only your littles will celebrate their birthday but out of town relatives will have a chance to come together. If I remember correctly, your mother if moving to Florida later this summer. so family gatherings may shortly become rarer and harder to put together.
With all that said, when you pick a topic to vent about here, you must keep in mind others may also too have opinions on the very same topic. Not everyone is going to agree on hot topics such as govt social services. Yes, you can freely vent, but others will contribute their opinions.
Your littles and your still very young SS are way too young to be knowing or caring on how their next meal arrives. Be more careful on what is discussed infront of them if you don't want them repeating what they hear. And you can't fault a child for wanting bacon when his father is sitting there whining over not having bacon for breakfast.
So sorry that happened. That
So sorry that happened. That said, don't be ashamed, no reason for it. And you really don't owe anyone here explanationson how they are used, or if you have a bday party for your child, or who you are married to. It's a support site and a site to vent. Take the good w/the bad-or take what works for your and leave the rest.
I have noticed a trend that has bugged me-many people really are in bad sitations but there have been plenty more pushed to leave their families/divorce. I don't take that lightly- I think people should tread very carefully giving advice to divorce and encouraging up the breakup of families. There are plenty of people that get their head out of their as*es during marriage and grow into better spouses.
Even if they don't -the alternative 'grass is greener' is not always the case-it puts YOUR children in a broken home and all the additional steplife crap that will come for THEM. There are a few reasons I personally will encourage someone to leave -mainly abuse- but a lot of people leave one set of bad traits of a spouse to discover bad traits in another. It's ok to fight for your marriage and family and encourage your husband to seek work. Just be careful when the 'leave him' comments start rolling in.