Skids mom is crazy.
Okay so today my husband works and I’m at home with my son and my step son. This is the first day I’ve started watching my step son during the day. Step kids mother is insane. Two days my husband let her know I will be watching him on Wednesday. She has told my husband that every time step kid goes back to her house he has scratches and bruises. They had therapy appointments in the past for skid because she’s worried he isn’t doing well with overnights. She mentioned to the therapist she thinks I abuse step kid. My husband was outraged and told her that is absolutely not true. I’m a mother myself and my husband is always around with me and step kid. I have never touched him. Anyway she told my husband if I watch him Wednesday she will call cps and let them know I am “abusive”. I’m watching him today. I don’t think she has called cps but she is at my front door insisting she see her son. I’m not answering because she will come in and take him home. It’s mt husbands time with him and she doesn’t need to be here. She isn’t a mother herself. She’s a waitress at hooters and loves with her mom and dad still. Her mom has always wanted another kid so she considers step kid to be her son. Step kids mother never wanted kids. She got pregnant so my husband would stay with her because he was going to breakup with her. She’s insane! Anyway will I get in trouble for not answering door? Like what if she calls the cops? I’m genuinely scared of this bitch. Also if she calls cps will they take my son from me? I’m not abusive but I have super bad anxiety and the thought of cps coming to my door frightens me. I don’t know how somebody could be so crazy.
Give her the skid.
Give her the skid.
Don't put yourself or the littles in a high conflict situation.
Yeah
I’ve never wanted to get back at somebody so badly in my life. Like how do I let this go? I seriously want to file a restraining order on her. Is that extreme? I feel like I should. She makes me feel unsafe. I feel like I have to have my doors locked and curtains closed because she is a freak.
Go for it. She is harrassing
Go for it. She is harrassing you and making your child and you both feel unsafe. It would at least keep her off your property!
I mean you can’t really file
I mean you can’t really file one on someone just because in your head she makes you feel unsafe. It won’t be granted. She is at your house for her child so it’s not like she’s stalking you. She just says you’re abusing the kids and the order is turned around so it’s against you not her and you can never be near the step child again.
People believe restraining orders are so easy to get. It takes proof and she can and would fight it. At best you could get a temporary order and then in a month she’s in court to dispute it, it’s dropped and you’ve caused WW3.
Your husband needs to come home and deal with this. Not you.
Yes, but OP can tell BM to
Yes, but OP can tell BM to leave and if she doesn't, call the police. I have done this exact same thing when our Crazy BM showed up at our house. She was gone by the time the police got there, but the officer did call her and tell her she was not allowed to come to our house.
Yep. And then LW will be
Yep. And then LW will be attested for abuse allegations since it was already threatened with it. She needs to just hand the kid over.
Actually people often confuse
Actually people often confuse restraining orders with orders of protection (which are the "hard" ones to get). I had to take an RO out on BM's mom. It did cost me $300, but it was worth every penny as Grandma Succubus never darkened my doorway again. It wasn't hard to get it all, just a tad expensive.
OK first. You need to know
OK first. You need to know what is in the court order. It frankly could say you cant watch the kids. Second, so she takes him? And. Then your husband can go back and pick him up. I would let BM take SS home before ever having police or CPS involved. She has accused you of physical abuse. You need to protect yourself legally not concern yourself with if it is his time or hers.
They for sure can come take your kid and hers if she is claiming abuse and he has marks. You DO NOT want to involve yourself with CSP even if you are in the right.
Court order
Court order says I can watch skid. Husband and her agreed on it when they went to court.
I’d open the door, pass the
I’d open the door, pass the kid over and tell your husband to handle it. This is his problem. Not yours.
FROR is First RIght Of
FROR is First RIght Of Refusal. That means if your DH cannot be with SS, he offers that time to BM. BM may be perfectly within her rights to demand her son since his father is not there.
You may find it much better to allow BM to have the boy when your DH is not home. If I were you, I'd be concerned about false accusations leading to a CPS investigation which can affect your bios.
" She isn’t a mother herself. "
Why would you say this? You need to accept she is the mom. You are heading for heartache.
Because she
Because she isn’t a mother. She may be his “mom” but she isn’t a mother. She has said she doesn’t want kids to my husband. She got pregnant to make my husband stay with her. Her mom and dad watch the kid daily while she’s out dicking around. We run into her all the time at restaurants and she is sitting at the bar drinking with friends. She’s a child.
Unfortunately, she IS the
Unfortunately, she IS the biological mother. Regardless of her lack of 'motherly' behavior. If your DH believes his son is in jeopardy with her, then he can try for full custody.
Um
” We run into her all the time at restaurants and she is sitting at the bar drinking with friends” The only way you can run into her is if you are out, too.
Let her have the kid. Now she can go to therapist and to police and say she was checking on her child and you hid him from her. Now she can open the door to speculation. Was he crying from you being mean? Freshly smacked with a handprint?
Shes
She’s at the bar getting drunk. We are at a booth with kids. That’s the difference.
Why would you put yourself at
Why would you put yourself at risk of a CPS call just to be "right"? Let BM take the kid. Don't get in these kinds of battles with her.
Personally, I wouldn't watch
Personally, I wouldn't watch the kid anymore. The parents will have to make arrangements for childcare when they are working. Not your circus, not your monkeys. You definitely don't want to deal with a CPS investigation since you have your own kids to worry about. Not worth it!
Omg give that kid back. Bye
Omg give that kid back. Bye bye. She is claiming you abuse her son WTH?! Don't deal with a crazy person. I wouldn't be alone with him ever again. You're jeopardizing you and your child's life. Guard your reputation.
You are risking your own child.
You are risking your own child. If she makes a report with CPS, they are going to investigate you. If they investigate and for some reason decide you did abuse SS, CPS can remove your child from your home. Why run the risk? Don't watch SS when DH is not there, give him to BM. If she is as bad as you say, she is going to get tired of watching him on DH's time anyway.
Did your DH's brother move in? Maybe he can watch SS.
Listen. What people SAY
Listen. What people SAY before they have kids is different to how they feel about their kids after they have them. And what she 'said' is only what you've heard from her ex.
If you have your own child, do not mess with with a social services investigation. It's not worth it. Unless she is OBVIOUSLY too drunk or high to drive off with the kid - you hand him over. But DOCUMENT.
I get how annoying this is though I really do. The BM in my life is always trying to control time and if she lived close by she'd be pulling this crap too. (or similar)
As others have said if she's that crap a mother, she'll get tired of it. Or DH can use her actions to file contempt (which is why you need to document). Frankly as a BM myself I would be FURIOUS if I knew that my ex was demanding time with kid and then dumping kid on some other unrelated woman for extended periods on a regular basis. Nope.
Me too. I would expect that
Me too. I would expect that my child come stay with me if her father was not able to watch her.
First, you have to come to
First, you have to come to the realization that this kid has 2 parents. They may not be what you would consider healthy but it doesn't change the fact that they are the parents.
You are the wife.
So be the wife.
Mother is obviously unstable but that isn't your problem. She has made an accusation about you, a dangerous accusation that could affect your own child. Is it worth being right?
If your DH cannot exercise his custody time with child then child goes back to BM. Simple. Period.
And you should be thankful for that. Why do you want to be involved in this crazy?! BM did you a favor.
TBH I'd call the cops on her
TBH I'd call the cops on her a$$. Have the CO ready to show it's your DH's time. Then pin her to a wall for tresspassing and harrassment.
But I'm also a b*** sometimes. Plus I've promised myself if Psycho ever shows up uninvited I will file and press charges so she knows better next time.
Someone is pounding and
Someone is pounding and shouting at your door. Call the police and let them haul her off in cuffs. Have a copy of the CO handy to show the police the visitation schedule and let DH know what is transpiring.
Once the police have her number they will be a big asset in keeping her under control. She is not allowed on your property or to interfere with the father's COd time with his kid. He can engage whoever he wants to watch his kid on his time and if there is not FROR in the CO BM has squat to say about it. Just as BM can pawn her parenting responsibilities off on her own mother.
Bring the pain. BM will adjust her behavior when the pain reaches the level that gets her attention.