Skid Affected My Desire for Children? Anyone Else?
The good news is FSD14 and I are on much better terms. We don't talk like we used to but its fine. Its actually better. The last year with her as been hell so I am more than happy to have some of the animosity disappear. That being said....
I got a new nephew! Yay! Hes so cute. Huge though - 9lbs 2 oz - it's like she gave birth to a toddler. I have constantly toyed between having kids and not having kids but since all of FSD BS (which I know is mostly normal, teens being teens) I just feel very turned off to the whole situation sometimes and I wonder if that is honestly how I feel or if I have some type of PTSD from a child that isn't mine.
Does anyone else feel like this? If you felt like this but then had a baby, did it change?
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Having skids didn’t change my
Having skids didn’t change my desire to have my own kids at all. I’ve always known I wanted kids though, it’s never been something I’ve questioned.
If you want your own kids, I wouldn’t let your issues with FSD stop you from having them. You’ll be able to parent your own kids differently & you’ll feel a far greater love for them that you ever could for any skid in your life. That’s not to say there won’t be challenges with any BK’s you might have, I just think it would be a lot more rewarding to raise your own vs help raise someone else’s.
Yes, I questioned whether
Yes, I questioned whether having kids was a good idea. I think that's perfectly normal for anyone with half a brain lol. I waited until I was 34 before having my own due to such reservations. I wish I hadn't waited so long because it is nothing like raising a skid. It's a million times better, even with all the poop, tears and tantrums this 3 year old monster can throw at me.
I really love how much you
I really love how much you love your kiid beebeel. I just want you to know that. You sit there and you're totally honest about it all. But you're completely infatuated with your kid. And it's so sweet!
Awww thanks, but I can't
Awww thanks, but I can't really help it! LOL That's the difference bewteen skids and kids: my skids would be acting like brats and it made me withdraw from them; whereas my kid can headbutt me in the face, use my sleeve as his personal napkin and cause $50 in property damage in a span of 5 minutes and all is forgiven the second I hear "sowwy mama." *help*
All of this.
All of this.
There is no resentment with your own kids. It's all love.
SD gets up at night and yells for someone to walk her to the bathroom and I feel SO angry at being woken. My son wakes up every hour and I'm exhausted and close to tears, but all I can do is look at his sleepy face beside me and smile. He melts my heart, even on his worst days. It's so different from having skids. It has been hard. Like, really hard, especially because he's still breastfeeding and he's a bad sleeper, but it's the most beautiful part of my life.
Skids didn't change my view
Skids didn't change my view on having a kid. If anything I kind of wanted one. Then reality and I realized I'm not ready for another kid right now due to reasons.
I think it's okay to decide when you're ready. I'm not there right now, and it sounds like you aren't either
Just make sure to gauge it with your own thoughts. Take the skid out of it. Decide if that's what you want, and when you're ready, go for it!
You said what I tried to in a
You said what I tried to in a much better way! I agree completely.
YES
I always wanted kids, and when SS was younger I wanted one BADLY. But we waited because we were not in a good place financially, and how that I am getting to the point where its now or NOW (I just turned 30 and it's really made me put pressure on myself) I am really debating if I want one at all. They are SO much work and completely change your life and they cry and beg and are just generally annoying...I just don't know if I want that...and all of this is mainly based on SS so I would say YES to your question -my relationship with SS has definitely had me flip-flopping on this whole thing.
I promise they're not
I promise they're not annoying when they're your own. Well, I mean, they are... But it's an annoying you forgive 2 seconds later because they do something as simple as giggle and your entire heart melts. It's so different. My son is 19 months and he's getting his molars and he's been crying ALL DAY but it's not "annoying" per say, just anxious because it hurts ME when he's hurting. All I want is to make him feel better. And snuggle. Honestly, it's so different.
I'm saying this as someone who does not enjoy kids - not other peoples, not my own nephews/neices, no other kids are interesting or enjoyable to me. I can pretend because it's the right thing to do, but I don't get all "AWWW SO CUTE" over anyone elses kid. Just my own! lol
Sunshinex you give me hope
Sunshinex you give me hope because I also cannot stand anyone's children. I have found a handful of children I don't mind per say but then I get into a grocery store and I hear some child yelling their face off and I get to nope, not for me. But I'm glad that there are people out there that aren't kid people. I am not a kid person and very open about it. FSD used it against me actually telling her father I'm not the right one because 'I'm not a kid person' (meanwhile she got that information eavsedropping and also she was 12 at the time, which seems a little old to be kid kid).
I don't know. We will see. I don't hold myself to anything and I'll change my mind countless more times.
Lol at FSD using it against
Lol at FSD using it against you. Nobody is a preteen person, that's for damn sure. Preteens suck, even if they're your own (so I've heard - not there yet to confirm!)
But yeah, I simply don't enjoy kids. Even though I know in my heart I love the kids related to me, I don't care to spend time with them (sorry if that's awful) I just don't have anything in common with them. I don't enjoy their endless babbling, thinking they're funny, etc. But with my own, I enjoy all of his silly little antics. I feel physically off when he's away from me for more than a few hours.
I have my own kids so its
I have my own kids so its hard to say how I would feel but I would never have kids with DH and expect them to turn out differently than the skids. He would parent them the way the skids are parented and then I would have feral bios. I cant have that
Don't be so sure of this
Don't be so sure of this
My husband parents our son the way I do whereas he parents his daughter differently. He knows I hold him to a higher standard and I have every right to call him out on the way he does or doesn't do things with our biological child whereas I don't really care how he does things with his daughter.
Well im 46 next month so too
Well im 46 next month so too late!!
Even if he held our child to a higher standard I dont want to bring a child up in the house of skids. You cant tell me a child wouldnt learn from the ferals
I have 3 a**hole skids, batshit crazy exwife of hubbys
There have been times i questioned myself was i stupid to have kids with hubby in this fu*ked up environment with these a**hole stepsiblings?? But i’ve done an as amazing job i can to raise my kids to be positive role models, positive empathetic individuals who will succeed at life, be independent and positive contributive members of society. Thats something i never see skids ever achieving.
Everytime ss21 tells hubby not to force him to show affection to our kids (his half siblings) because he is incapable of it and that he will continue to remain living in our home ignoring us all and emotionally abusing us, its hard to not question at times how stupid i was to bring 2 kids into this
but then i look at my kids, and they are genuinely the most amazing happy kids you could have ever met. Despite being half related to 3 pathetic arseholes, my kids are such empathetic, happy and loving kids. Something skids are incapable of