If BM is on any form of assistance, like SNAP, no CS won't go through. The state isn't going to allow a parent to not pay CS if they are having to provide support to BM. That will be especially true if DH's new job pays above minimum wage and if he isn't relying on assitance as well.

I shouldn't say I'm shocked, but I'm saddened that your DH would give up financial support to his daughter in addition to visitation. I feel bad for SD that her dad has written off his responsibility to her in favor of her sister.

I understand that you're relieved, but this should not be something to celebrate.

How can a "man" making the CHOICE not to help support his child be the best part of all of this???

Those poor girls got a dud for a dad. 

BM will just file for full support and then she will have both 100% custody and CS.  Well played, BM. 

Why isn’t he willing to help support his child? That doesn’t make any sense. 

If BM can support SD without help from biodad, she may very well be happy just to have him mostly out of the picture. A friend of mine made that deal, and she will not file for CS because she wants to make sure biodad stays gone.  She thinks her kid is better off with no dad (but a couple positive male role models) than having a bad dad who isn't all that interested in her drift in and out of her life at his whim.

I told my son as soon as he was old enough to notice girls and make me a grandma that if he got a girl pregnant, I don't care if they are married or not but that I would make it my life's mission to make sure he supported his child for life whether it was as an active parent and/or financially. He'd be getting a job and possibly not make it into/through college in the typical timeline.

Perhaps your DH will put the CS into a college fund or some sort of trust for later?

Notorized means nothing in the courts since a judge did not sign off on it.  All it means is that a notary witnessesed them both agreeing to this non-binding decision.  The girl is only 13, in many states CS goes through college. I guarantee that your DH is not off the hook, and he shouldn't be because he brought a child into this world and should support her.  

What a loser (OPs DH)

I predict posts about a SD who is resentful in a year or so....    He is truly a waste of a father. 

This is not going to worked.  First time something happens where BM can not paid her bills. They will come after SO for all back CS.  Thaling away his drivers license, tack refunds ect. Until he is payed up.   Not bright 

To be honest, getting something notarized CAN help in court. When meth mouth claimed DH shorted her on CS, he told the courts they had a verbal agreement, which they did. The judge told him if they would have written something up and both signed it, notarized it, and submitted it to the courts, it would have held up and she would not be able to get back CS.

Notarization just means they had a witness. It means nothing else 

it doesn’t mean the man from this topic would abandon the second child too.

I had seen many situations in my life where farthers would be inexistence to their first kids and excellent with the new ones. It is sad for the first kids yes, but it doesn’t mean other kids would suffer too.

My own father had a boy from previous relationship, he took care about this kid and everything. Parents were forcing me to interact with the boy, to certain level.

But now my farther calls me almost every day and this boy is blocked from my farther’s phone and life. We are all grown up so it is not the same but my farther does not feel anything for his first son, does not see him anymore and does not talk to him.

While for me he is always present.

My parents are happily married since 37 years and it is not ready to change.

My farther recongize he slept with the wrong woman, he paid for his mistake until the boy was 18 and did not have any interaction afterwards.  At the same time he was always an excellent farther to me. 

I would say wait and see, it is not granted that this husband would do the same to the new child. 

The best part? DH signed some notarized agreement drawn up by BM to give her 100% legal (what she's always wanted) for no child support 

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

That is just disgusting. 

Your DH is such a loser.  But you know this.  And you know the responses you were going to get with this blog.  

Win/win for your SD with 2 toxic people outta her life.

I am NOT approving of men or women who abandon children.   But as I am older than dirt I have a slightly different historical perspective. 

I am glad to see so many men embrace paternity. In my youth - 50+ years ago ,  a half a century ago -  in the days before DNA testing - it was nothing for a man who had slept with a woman he impregnated that he did not want to marry to get his buddies to claim they had also slept with her. Making paternity impossible to determine.  Net result - no CS and no tie to the child.  The bio father happily walked away without a second look.  

Fatherhood in particular was often downplayed.  If a child was not born into what was once a loving marriage the father was often portrayed as just a  peripheral person who didn’t matter. 

There are all too often remnants of these attitudes that still exist.   We all too often hear here about BMs (now SMs) who have children with a bio father who is not involved at all.   

I do not have children so I know I do not truly comprehend the bio link - but I have to admit that I can see how someone can choose to delete a POS from one’s life no matter the DNA link. 

You are celebrating a father abandoning his child?!!  Best hope he won't do it to your precious baby cakes. 

None of you should be allowed to breed.

Disgusting.

The only positive outcome with this move is that I love dog’s DH will no longer be able to abdicate his parenting duties off on her, like he has from the get-go.

It’s all quite bizarre, though, how BM didn’t want much to do with her own daughter, always and forever pawning her off on  dad, and even more so I love dogs, to just do this - and I love dog’s DH go for it.