Well there is something called spina bifida occulta - it is when there is a deformity of the lumbar vertebrae where they don't close properly in the back, without the opening in the skin as in more severe cases.  It is usually an incidental finding when doing an X-Ray for other reasons, and it doesn't usually cause any problems.

she says "I bumped it where I had spina bifida"

Had? If she has spina bifida occulta it's still there. She has no surgery scar and there is no medicine cure for this.

Has SD ever had an xray for an injury that would show this condition?

My SD was convinced she had surgery and staples on her head.  (The real story is that she had a bump on her head that BM found that didn’t bug her, but but BM insisted on taking her to the ER... big bill).  SD would tell the lie to everyone, and go into an over the top rage if we corrected her.  DH had her 50% of the time so there was no way that happened.  Crazy kid.

Your DH needs to schedule whatever tests are necessary to prove/disprove this "diagnosis". He also needs to obtain a copy of her medical records, review it, and go over it with SD.

At 14, your SD is old enough to be put in possession of the facts concerning her body, her health, and her crazy mother. Don't expect a huge change, because mom is always mom, but using facts to teach her that she cannot rely on her mother's judgement will be a help to her. She should also be in counseling. Otherwise, this girl will never be able to cope with or launch into the real world.

YSD's mom is likely BPD (diagnosed bipolar in her fifties but I don't agree with that), and always had a habit of playing fast and loose with the truth. Consequently, YSD was very confused  when she came to live with us at 14. She'd been isolated by her mom and fed all kinds of lies about her father, the extended family, and even the custody battle we'd fought for her. I sought family and individual counselling for her, and when she started asking questions, we spent time going over the reams of court docs I'd saved. To be fair, YSD already knew her mom was crazy, but having her see in black and white how hard her father tried to save her and how many accusations were disproved in court gave her something real to build on.

My guess is that BM googled Spina bifida and came up with this. It is her own diagnosis based on the dimple on SDs back.

Spina bifida

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Symptoms Hairy patch, dimple, dark spot, swelling on the lower back[1]

Spina bifida is a birth defect in which there is incomplete closing of the spine and membranes around the spinal cord during early development in pregnancy.[1] There are three main types: spina bifida occulta, meningocele and myelomeningocele.[1] The most common location is the lower back, but in rare cases it may be the middle back or neck.[9] Occulta has no or only mild signs.[5] Signs of occulta may include a hairy patch, dimple, dark spot or swelling on the back at the site of the gap in the spine.[1] Meningocele typically causes mild problems with a sac of fluid present at the gap in the spine.[1] Myelomeningocele, also known as open spina bifida, is the most severe form.[2] Associated problems include poor ability to walk, problems with bladder or bowel control, accumulation of fluid in the brain (hydrocephalus), a tethered spinal cord and latex allergy.[2] Learning problems are relatively uncommon.[2]

Tell DH to please take her for a complete and thorough top to bottom exam. Time to set the record straight. Oh and I would be sure the doctor new bm is making these claims...

DR, childs mother insists Sally has Spina Bifida. Mom is telling everyone the child is very ill. Can we rule this out OR confirm it? SHE IS Traumatizing the poor girl. Have dad get that on record.

This is going to be interesting when she tries to use it to get out of gym class.  I would get the popcorn ready for that little scene!  Especially if any of her classmates have relatives who actually have been affected by spina bifida.  They are not going to find it particularly endearing.

I have worked with kids with spina bifida and let me just say ... there is no mistaking that they do, in fact, have spina bifida. It is a birth defect that causes major issues with everything from brain development to walking, feeding themselves, even breathing in some cases. Recently I have read that there have been some successful surgeries in utero to correct issues, but obviously DH would have been aware of something like that. It is normally diagnosed during the first or second trimester. This BM sounds like a complete nutcase - who would make something like that up? Ugh!

She was born paralyzed from the waist down and has had 43 surgeries for various issues that this birth defect causes. I have been around 100's if not 1000's of kids at clinic over the years. And none of them had Occulta. Occulta is a very, VERY mild form. So mild that most of the time it is never diagnosed until an exray done for an unrelated injury is needed.

I think that dad needs to address this and take his daughter to the Dr. explain the situation and get her exrayed. NOT for he physical health as there really is nothing that can can or needs to be done but for her psycholgica peace of mind. It is not in her best interest to think she has something that she may not even have. Also, if she indeed does have this I think she should be educated as to how lucky she is to have it so mild compaired to what could have been an unfortuante outcome for her. Teaching kids to be sensitive to those less fortunate for you is part of our jobs as parents.

As bad as my daughter is she has always seen those worse off; on ventilators, could not speak and cant do a single thing for themselves. It helps keep her in prespective of her own level of the illness and always knows as bad as it is, it still could have been a whole lot worse and therefore she is gratful and not a complainor.

Olivia

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