Am glad to have found this.  I’ve been with my hubby for 25 years.  SD was 25 when we met.  Always felt a special friendship with her.  No children for me, always felt she was a bonus.  Of course we had ups and downs.  Once she was helping her mom move and her dad asked can I go help.  Yes was my answer.  He called numerous times and she did not get back for almost a Year!  We finally made contact and she acted like nothing happened!  When I commented about the time, she said no way have I not seen my dad for a year.  They both have very selective memory.  Eventually moved her mom to my hometown.  With varied illnesses her ex and myself took care of her.  Drs appts.  Holidays etc.  Daughter got remarried and moved out of state. The marriage was interesting as her dad and I were not in any pics.  I mentioned it as his large family had huge amounts.  She blasted me with we would be well represented in the future.  Then the only pic we got was them, with her mom.  I’ve warn my heart on my sleeve.   Doing cartwheels to try and keep this relationship.  A year and half ago her mom died.   While at hospital we loaned them a car.  The morning of the death she showed up here to return the car and shoved a bag with moms clothes and purse and said they were headed to New York.  I have never seen her again.   Have gone to therapy and finally my therapist was like you are a shining light of kindness and fun, if people don’t appreciate it, there loss.  So, she had a memorial for her mom, her dad and I were shunned.  I was good enough to help for 10 years, and came to love her mom, but not go to memorial.   What triggered today’s rant is my husband is having lunch with them Friday and it bothers me.  I say I want him to have a relationship, but, how can he be kind to such a snot?  He has fear of never seeing her again.   He visited the for 9 days without me, I hated it.  Nothing harder than being home.  Yet, I would not want to go.   So conflicted.   I’ve apologized numerous times, for what I don’t know, she just ghosts me.   We have some of her friends for holidays and she ghost them too.   Thank you for being here.   Just writing this is freeing.