Is it too late for you to join the Marines?  That would get you away from him.

Wow. I guess you are figuring out just how controlling he is. He's all but demanded you return home, RIGHT NOW.

I hope you've filed divorce papers.

Happy for you PA. You will be a bettee person and in a better place when this is over

I'm sorry PA. I have been in abusive relationships before also. I know how hard it is to leave. But, now is the time to leave. 

He has been nothing but a cheating sorry ass, sounds like, the entire time. I promise it will not change. 

How nice for him you have been watching his kids and paying the bills so he could have spending money while he ran around and got laid.

File.

There are groups that network & help military personnel keep their pets while deployed/training, etc.

ETA:  Dogsondeployment.org

Oh, PA, the more facts I hear, the more I think you should file ASAP and leave this poor excuse for a husband behind as soon as you can.  He is clearly a man of low character who is not worthy of your love.  

So this married man was on dating sites this whole time and was intimate with women? Pictures of women in underwear?? I highly recommend you see a doctor to get STD testing done. I know someone who contracted HIV from her cheating DH. No men worth it. Do check up quick.

Please know if you go back to him he’ll continue cheating. It’s not like he had drunken one night stand. He seeked females by joining dating sites and making fake accounts. He is a serial long time cheater and user. People like this don’t stop. They just get more careful about hiding evidence and lying 

LOSER.

Up until reading your list, I thought there was a slim possibility you might work this out, but not now. I don't see how you come back from all the cheating. "Had accounts on multiple dating sites, a secret instagram, was having innapropriate conversations with a coworker, and some girl on the instragram I knew about." You might get past one affair, but it doesn't look like he has ever been completely faithful to you! Please get to your gynocologist and get all the STD testing done.

I have never like your DH since he wouldn't help you when your dog was killed. For your sake, I'm sorry I was right to not like him. You deserve so much better. Figure out something for your dogs and go for the Marines. They would be lucky to get you!

Thank god you never had kids with this man.  When you file you can walk away free and clear. 

What a pr*ck! 

Youbdeserve so much better PA, so much better.

Was so surprised to hear all this...have followed your posts.  You have done so much for those children and DH. 
He does not deserve you.

Maybe you think you still love him. But it is very clear he never loved you.  What he has done has never been love.  
Be strong. Hug your fur babies. They love you.  Guard your heart. 

Embarrassing but necessary to get tested. I think there is waiting period follow up time for the HIV testing... so get all done now and follow it up.  

You are rocking this separation thing and doing a great job at moving on and staying strong. You've got this. 

P.S. Testing is not embarassing, doctors do it all the time. If you want a *full* screening then look into your local lgbt health provider as they tend to be more thorough than your average provider. Personally I think that everyone should get tested regularly, especially women as some  STD's are symptomless in some women but can affect fertility.

Being raised in the Bible Belt and my age.  Definitely it should not be and is very necessary. 
 

I don't know you like everyone else in these comments but I read your other blogs and it sounds to me like you like the attention from your soon to be ex. I gathered you do not share children with him. So if you have made it to the point where you left, be done with him already. It is not hard to make someone stay away and leave you alone IF that is what you REALLY want.

Girl, Imma bout to grab this little a-hole and deliver him some borrowed Aniki justice. This is BS to the extreme. You need to inform the police ASAP. He has crossed enough boundaries to justify the call, and since he clearly doesn't respect women, MAYBE he'll respect someone in a uniform who would also be happy to talk to his superiors at whatever ambulance service he works for.

I know you're tired. I know you just want this to end. But you're going to have to take precautions to keep yourself safe - and I'm not just talking physically. File a complaint with the police department and see if you can get a protecrive order from the county courthouse. The police report will likely be enough to get you the PO, and it will be in place until your divorce.

He's going to keep coming around because he has a lot to lose, including control of you. If he can make you feel uncomfortable to go out, then he likely thinks that you'll get tired and just."come home". Call his BS and end this. I know it's hard, but if anyone can do it, it's you.

Don't make the same mistake I did and let it drag out. 

He doesn’t want to lose free babysitting services and your income. That’s about it. 

Keep it with you.  Read this list constantly.  Once you get all your stuff out of the house, you can stop answering the phone or text. Better yet, get a new phone number and don't give it to him.

I have dealt with a crazy break up myself.  It isn't as simple to some men to just tell them to go away. I moved out of the house we shared together and he found out where I lived.  I couldn't afford to move again and I worked from home.  He would show up all the time  ringing the door bell and acting a fool. He would call and leave a voicemail telling me if I didn't answer that he was coming over.  I would grab the kids and try to get out of the house before he had time to get there. Sometimes, I could get out and other times I wasn't fast enough. It was so frustrating because the cops would come over and tell him to leave.  He would leave but them come back  or keep calling.  At the time, I couldn't block his number or afford to change mine.

I started shopping at different stores at different dates and times that I would normally go out.  I didn't shop at the same store twice to avoid him.  I changed my entire schedule. 

I tried to file a protection order against him.  It wasn't granted because I wasn't "scared enough".  If you decide to file a protection order make sure you state  that you are scared for your life.  I didn't say that and I really wished I did.

After a few months he did stop all the stalking.  During the time he was stalking me and driving me crazy, he was living with someone else.  Yes, he was cheating with her when we were together.  We lived together for awhile and he was a serial cheater.   His new "honey" wasn't helping him pay the bills.  He had to take care of her.  He would leave me voicemails complaining that she didn't help him out and he needed me to come back.

It has been over 10 years ago since we broke up.  He has another kid by another woman.  He has 2 grown kids that have different mothers.  He has been through  A LOT of relationships.  Been engaged a few times and each time it ended because the women say he cheated but of course, to hear his side they ALL cheated on him.  Most of the women  are in long term relationships now and seemed to be happy.   Yes, I do live in a small town and everyone knows everything around here.

I just saw on your other blog that you are still babysitting his kids and more so you volunteer for it. I think it will be very hard to prove stalking and harassment to the police if you keep going in to the house (even if he isn’t there) and babysitting his kids. That really needs to stop. Not saying you can’t have contact with them in the future but now? No, you should not 

PA has only mentioned watching the kids once (back on Oct. 2)  - and part of the reason she did it was so she could pack up and move some more stuff. I'm sure she will update on that part of it as well - but no where did she say she was watching them on a regular basis.

Are you still watching his kids? If you are, you should consider eliminating that and possibly filing a restraining order if he keeps showing up unexpectedly.