Hypocritically trying to make me jealous - VENT
So H. Whom I'm separated from. And honeslty feeling mainly indifferent to... He's been very bipolar. Accusing me of things... HATES that I'm livign with some random male. Period.
So he messages me and gives me a "I'm having people over at 10:30 tonight. Some receptionist and some basic people. Both male and female. But at different times."
I guess what confuses me about this... Is:
- I begged him to invite his friends over when I lived there. I wanted to meet them. See them... Especially because he was so shady with them... It was always "they're too busy." or "I don't want to."
- He has accused me of everything under the sun... Has informed me it's inappripriate for me to be with a male, even though he's not even there half the time and I have my own space...
- 10:30 seems weirdly late to "just have people over."
- I guess I'm really just pissed that he's accused me of everything under the sun, and is trying to convince me to come back, then throws a hypocritical here.
I mean, If he's moving on, awesome. But why was there even a need to tell me this? Probably to make me jealous. And for someone so quick to throw accusations, sure doen sound like he's putting himself in a situation here.
IDK. It's just a vent. Obviously I feel pretty indiferent towards him. Just frustrates me. LIke I was hidden the whole time and now he's having random people over to a house I STILL pay for (long story. working on getting out of that). Where a lot of my stuff still is... To do who knows what. At a late hour. While trying to preach to me he is changed. Being a butt about me living with a coworker of the opposite gender... AND YET.
I'm not necessarily jealous as much as I am annoyed. If that makes sense? LIke 1) why even tell me. 2) really don't want them screwing up my stuff, 3) feels 100% hypocritical.
Guess me being annoyed also probably feels hypocritical though. LMAO
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Are you still considering
Are you still considering working things out with him? If not, block his number. Why continue to put up with this kind of nonsense?
Excellent point. Idk.. It's
Excellent point. Idk.. It's all conflicting tog. I'm not planning on working things out, but I still have things in the house too... So until I have them, and get him off the insurance, phone bill, and I'm off the lease, it feels like the communication has to be at least allowed minimally.
I'm not responding to the message. It just hit me weird. I even already deleted it.
Honey, get your things out
Honey, get your things out ASAP.
You can unblock him if you
You can unblock him if you need to initiate communication. It's not like there will be a phone or lease crisis he need to reach you about. He can email you if needed.
I think you are conflicted because it's hard to end a relationship. But this seems doomed.
You're right. On all accounts
You're right. On all accounts... It is hard to end any relationship... But it is doomed... I mean seriously... More mind games...
Get your stuff out BEFORE you
Get your stuff out BEFORE you block him.
Once you do block him, expect him to go whackadoo. He will likely call your work phone, show up at your work, show up where you're staying... Be vigilant and BE SAFE!!!
He is trying to bait you with
He is trying to bait you with this ridiculousness.. make you jealous.
See.. look I wouldn't do this for YOU .. but I'm doing it now.. nananana
He's playing games with you.
He's playing games with you. You're separated. Sooooooo....why is he telling you people are coming over? Yes, probably to try and make you jealous. 10:30pm IS a weird time. Is that when he gets home from work? Maybe he's telling you that in the hope you'll do a drive-by (and he'll be peeking out the window, looking for your car). IMO, it is just one more ploy.
Sweetie, you need to find out when Mr. TRIpolar will not be there and GET YOUR STUFF OUT. If I could, I'd drive down there and help you get it out. xoxo
^^This^^
Get your stuff out ASAP.
My guess is, his next phase
My guess is, his next phase will him being ANGRY/mean/cruel.
Get your stuff out as soon as possible. Can you move it into storage?
He's alternating between love
He's alternating between love bombing/begging, trying to make her jealous, and being a complete douche. She has already experienced angry/mean/cruel plenty of times.
Time to get some people together and get her stuff, IMO.
I think it's going to get
I think it's going to get worse, think nails in tires, etc.
Yup! My mom said that she'd
Yup! My mom said that she'd help fund it. So that's actually the plan. My coworker has been great, but I definitely can't move everything into his house. So for now, it'll go in a storage unit until I find an apartment to stay in on a more permanent basis.
How does he know your living
How does he know your living with a male? Did you reply to his message of updating you on his plans? Are watching his kids still?
My guess is he's playing these immature games to get a response out of you. Any reaction he gets he will feed off of. If I were you I would only respond to messages that ONLY impact you....like your belongings, divorce, moving your stuff....things like that.
Don't entertain his nonsense. He can go and have fun with himself.....
Also move your stuff in storage ASAP, preferably when he's not home.
He does. I did not respond,
He does. I did not respond, why fuel the crazy. And I watched them on wednesday to get my dogs back after a business trip... I've got things worked out though, so if I need to go on another I have someone to watch the furbabies
(who's not emotionally unstable and psychotic....)
I agree! He can have fun!
And that's the plan. I know his work schedule (thankfully it's consistent) so I plan on going during his work hours to grab all my stuff and finish moving out.
So Clove recommended you spend some time reading on Chumplady's
site and OMG everytime I read her blog, I think about you and how you need to be reading everything she writes! I swear it's your cheater husband 100 percent. She talks about how cheaters have three channels; charm, rage, and pity and how they switch in between the three. She talks about how they want you to do the pick me dance to feed their narcissitic kibble supply. Her whole message is to leave a cheater and gain a life. She also describes in perfect detail what he's doing to you. I really think you should read her book. Tracy Schorn, "Leave a Cheater, Gain a Life." It will be so eye opening to you
I'll go order the book! I
I'll go order the book! I could use something new to read!!! And I've browsed the blog some. Hopefully I get some more time this weekend to do so too!
Been wondering about you gal!
Been wondering about you gal! Hang in there...yep he's pulling all the stops as expected. I used to think that just maybe you two could work it out-but his behavior since you guys split had gotten even worse (if that were possible). Time to get your stuff and block him. No contact is normally the best way to heal. HUGS to you friend!
I'd be surprised if he was
I'd be surprised if he was even having people over. He said it to get to you, to bait you, to see if you would beg to be included.
At different times... yeah, so if he was successful in piquing your interest he had an excuse for an empty house - someone just left and someone else was on their way (only to never show up).
He's just being a tool box.
Lying liars lie. It's safe to assume that's what he is doing the majority of the time. And he's not even creative about it so while it seems somewhat insulting it's actually just pathetic and pitiful.
All of the past damage aside, you two are on very different, wholly incompatible paths. You are interested in growth and change. He is interested in returning to the past to maintain his comfortable status quo.
Remember to cut yourself some slack. Grief is not linear. You'll go up and down, back up higher than you've ever been and crash down again until you have processed it all. Lean into it. Breathe. Cry. Break things. Just know that you'll get through it.
His failures are his own and have nothing to do with you. You were always enough, don't ever forget that.
It makes me happy to know
It makes me happy to know that you feel indifference towards him. That's great! He's such a pathetic, poor excuse for a partner, unappreciative, immature, cheating asshole. I want you to be indifferent towards him, because he is not worth 2 seconds of your time. Ignore his messages, ignore him. Get your stuff out of there, put it in storage, get yourself off the damn lease and be done with this loser!! Are you planning to file soon?
BTW, when you DO find a new
BTW, when you DO find a new place, do NOT let stbx know where it is. Be watchful to try and make sure he doesn't follow you there. If he IS following you, drive to the nearest police station.
I'll probably only tell a
I'll probably only tell a VERY select few where it is. VERY SELECT few.
He's doing a bang up job of
He's doing a bang up job of showing you that he's a changed man.
Ending a relationship is hard, but he is at least showing you that it's the right thing to do.
He trying to look good in your eyes
Doing thing you wanted to do. But if he did them and not tell you. How would know how great he really is. Just another sick behavior on XDH part
Looks like you have a partial
Looks like you have a partial plan...
Best of luck to you young lady.
You don’t need to watch his
You don’t need to watch his kids in order to get your stuff. You bring police with you and get your stuff. Police will be there for your protection. Call your local police department and ask for their help
Police escort is an awesome
Police escort is an awesome idea because I wouldn't put it past him to destroy PA's stuff.