I'm sorry for the loss of your husband and it is very unfortunate that he wasn't honest with you about the situation with the house.

Did BM pass away?  If so, it seems that your DH may have had some claim.. at least partial to the home legally.. whether he put his name on the deed or not.. there might be a chance to do it posthumously?  Then.. if he had some ownership... then some of HIS ownership would have most likely passed to you even without a will depending upon probate law in your state.

But.. unfortunately, SD still may have enough ownership/control to make you move.  It's unfortunate that she is airing dirty laundry on social media.. and it sounds like there is 'enough" truth in what she is saying.. though twisted.. that it might be difficult to take legal action.  

Sometimes the fight isn't worth the end result.. and what would that result be?  I think in the end.. you would still be out of that home... and it's really your husband's fault that this situation got teed up like this.  I know this is hard.. but I would be focusing on myself and if moving out gives you less stress than trying to fight her.. I would do it.

I am sorry for your loss. I am sorry your DH thought he didn't need a will. I am sorry he was not honest with you. But, as hard as it is, you have to accept that the house is SD's. It never belonged to DH. He may have had dower rights to stay, but they do not extend to you.  You need to move. 

Since your husband died without a will, you are going to need to sit down with a lawyer and go over what happens where you live in this circumstance. Accounts that are joint, accounts you are listed as beneficiary, 401ks covered by federal law, these will come to you. But, anything else (including a settlement of the accident) is covered by state law and (depending on the state) may have to be split by a preset percentage among you and all his children. 

There is no way this is not going to be  huge mess. Accept that and deal with it. 

OK I am noo lawyer and do not know what State you live in.  Most states I have lived in require a specific process.  If she locked you out and you live there, call the local police and explain the situation.  An officer should escort you to get back in.  Get a lawyer asap and be clear to SD That you are fighting this with legal means.  Document document document.  She cannot bar you or throw you out without the State's legal process.  As for social media, look into Slander/Libel.  Go full court press cut her no slack

Wait. I remember your old posts. In those, you said the house was SD's. You said her mom's family had a lot of money and you had issues with that because of your own kids. You've known this was her house.

mofthree, I would have sent you a pm because i am having an alternative thought about your misfortune, but here goes....

SD has nothing left. only a house. her dad is gone, her mom is gone.  The only thing she has left is YOU.  you have three kids and no house.  maybe she needs you to unconditionaly love her - no matter how bad she is being.  She is angry right now and sad and blaming it on you. She is remembering your actions in the past just as a response, not the CAUSE that she did to get your response.  This anger is fueling her to get fakebook to bully you and as a result humiliate & ostracize you. She is doing everything bad to test your love to see if she can cut you out of her life like a tree mushroom. (sometimes biological kids do this too at some points in their life BTW) You are very pregnant with small kids and so you are not in a position health wise to take on a big fight and move out of principle. 

What about if you stop the fight and use diplomacy instead?

ask to meet her for lunch without the kids.  Do this in person.  Hand her a letter so that you can get it all out before she retreats.

Hello SD. Thank you for meeting with me today. We are all hurting because we lost a dad and husband. I wanted to say thank you for letting me use the two bedrooms for a short while while we get this all sorted out.  I was very shocked to find out that the babies and I do not have rights to the home any longer.  I understand your need to get locks and control of your property but also recognize your graciousness to allow the use of the two rooms for the time being.  

SD, I want you to know that I am proud of you going to the university and living on campus and how good you are doing in your adult life.  I know that I don't have much claim to that, as I made many mistakes as a stepparent.  I don't want to make excuses that will invalidate your feelings, but I was very young, with no experience with stepparenting but what I have lived in my upbringing.  I tried to stepparent you as I would want to be treated if I were a stepchild.  I did the best that I could for my age.  

I feel/felt that you did not like me very well and so I gave you space and got out of your grill. I do love you and want the best for you.  Someday, if you remember kind things that I have done for you, or sacrifices that I made for you at my young age, maybe you will reach out to me and remind me, because trust me, I spend more time kicking myself for my mistakes then I do for patting myself on the back.  I wish you loved me as much as the babies love me.  And the babies love you too.  They are a part of you and you are all a part of your dad.  This is not a DIVORCE.  This is a DEATH.  I am not divorcing you and you are not divorcing me and the babies.  If we leave the lines of communication open, we can make space to heal and to grow back together.  You are your fathers Daughter and I love your father.  We are all hurting.  In the future, please take time to have tea with me and the babies and tell us about your life. 

NOW AFTER THE LETTER< SHE WILL WANT TO ARGUE and hash out things, just quietly listen and nod and look sympathetic.(Pretend in your mind that this is one of your current babies, all grown up and hurting in this fashion-It will give you compassion) validate her feelings and tell her you understand why she would feel that way and you are sorry.  after a time tell her you have to get back to the kids but ask for a hug and leave on fresh good feelings. 

Then let it go for awhile..........

She may take down the fakebook ads.

She may delay in the eviction. 

I went back and re-read this post.  It appears that the house is in SD's name.. and has been for a while.  She, as a result, likely has every legal right to evict you and your kids.

It sounds like there was somewhat of a tumultuous relationship and you don't want her to set foot in the house per your own admission.  Well guess what? it is HER house.. she will in all likelihood prevail.  

OP needs to put all of her energy and resources into securing alternate housing for herself and her children and explore all sources of financial support and insurance that she can.

Begging SD to be able to stay in the home?  haha.. doubt SD will go for this unless OP agrees to pay rent.  and if you have to do that.. you might as well bite the bullet and do it on your own terms in your own place.

Does the situation suck? yes... but SD has the power and OP is likely wasting time, money and resources trying to find an angle to stay in the home that SD apparently Legally Owns.

Accept the situation for what it is and figure out what your options are..stay with elderly parents.. rent a home.. etc.. etc.. 

mothree, please take a breather, drink lots of water, try to clear your mind, focus on your children, try to eat some fresh veggies and fruits. you got this. you can do this. you can handle this. you can be mothree and do a great job of it. 

Wait..."Obviously, SD isn't welcome here ever again."

It is HER house.  You're being evicted from a home that is not yours.  You have no claim or rights to that house.

Your frustration is very misplaced.  It is your lying, unprepared late husband you should be upset with.  He lived in his daughter's home rent free and couldn't be bothered to tell you the truth or make sure you and the children would be looked after.

This whole situation is a nightmare. I am really sorry for your loss and all the turmoil it is causing. Just try to think that in a year or two this will be over and you will be in a new phase of your life with all your kids, showing them what an amazingly capable woman you are as you raise them to be wise and loving. This time is going to be testing, but it is not going to be forever.

First I would find accomodation for you all for in 30 days time. That could be splitting you and your kids between various relatives/friends for a month or two until you can get things lined up. You said your mom lives nearby - could she take one or two kids? Anybody else who could help for a month or two? This is a desperate time calling for desperate measures.  Knowing that you and your kids have somewhere safe, warm and loving to be in 30 days if nothing esle comes up will be a weight off your mind. Many families go through temporary periods where children live with other relatives, I know my husband and his brother did, my older sister did and they all turned out fine. This plan is your fall back plan, if you cannot find something else in 30 days. 

Then i would sit down with someone that you trust who is good with finances and look at your money situation. As others have said getting on top of what benifits you are entitled to is a good place to start too. Even if you are usually good at finances and budgets, working with someone else who is removed from your direct situation could help you when things are feeling scary and emotional right now. When you know what kind of budget you can reasonably have you can attack trying to find accomodation with confidence that you can afford what you find. 

If you want to stay in the house until the new baby is a few months old I might approach SD (perhaps through a lawyer) and offer to pay a reasonable rent until x date when you will move out, assuming that it would be financially feasible for you. This would give you a few months to work out what your next step is going to look like. The worst that could happen is that she says no. 

When you do get to looking for somwhere to rent and you are concerned that noone will rent to you with no income then you could think about alternative stratgies to finding accomdation. I suggest approaching landlords who are independent and might be willing to be flexible, perhaps even offer to pay for a full 6 months up front if you can out of your 20k. Or offer to pay 30% of your social security check as rent for 6 months and you will pay an upfront lump sum of the remainder of the rent. So if 30% of your social security would be $600 but rent is $1500.. pay a lump sum of $900x6 or $5400 up front then $600 each month after that for 6 months. Then after 6 months you will either have your life insurance money through to pay another lump sum, or maybe you will have found a job or perhaps you will move to a cheeper area if you cannot continue to  afford the rent. Look on air b'n'b some people on there rent their appartments for 30 days at a time, just make sure to check what you are renting (a couple of bedrooms sharing the appartment with the owner or use of the entire appartment). 30 days at a time might not be ideal, but they will not usually ask for proof of income. 

Let people in your life know you are looking for accomodation with a flexible landlord - they may know someone who rents an appartment or small house that could work for you. You might also consider sharing with a relative or friend. Maybe there is another woman raising children who would apprechiate the moral support of another adult in the house and someone else to split the bills with. I've read about mom communes, which if you can find people that you mesh with could be a great place to live. 

I'm sorry that people here are critizing you and questioning you. You do not need that right now Please do not ignore the good advice that is offered here, there is a way forwards even if everything seems impossible right now. Reach out to those that you trust and love and let them help you through this. There are people who want to help you, organizations set up to help support you and benifits that you are entitled to. You can make this work. 

she thinks she can delay your being evicted.  Have you specifically asked her, given that the facts, inluding that you strarted living there when the owner was a minor, how much rent you will be charged?  You may find it is higher than you can find a place for, and you are making your situation worse.

you don't need a job. you already have a job taking care of babies and growing one in your tummy - unless you were going to get a job at a daycare where you could have lots of help with care while you provide care and still get to spend time with your babies.  it will be too hard to find a job that has the same hours as the daycare, then get each squirming child fed, dressed, strapped into carseat, drive to work, watch them cry as you leave, cry as you drive yourself to work, miss the kids all day, deal with everyone at works drama,then be late picking up kids from daycare because of traffic jam, then have daycare report you to CPS for being late, then try to smooth over the guilt of not being with them all day.  The Social Security for you and the children will pay for your rent and utilities.  when you get close to the end of your stay at SD's, visit a local chruch, and ask if they can organize a group of helpers to hold babies and move stuff to the new place.  Don't waste your $20,000 on bills, use it for several months down on rent at a place close to a grocery store.  Then use your SS income to raise the kids. 

Open a new bank account that doesnt have your DH's name on it, and get direct deposit for your SS so you dont have to wait and go cash a check each month with babies on hip.  then make an account online socialsecurity.gov to monitor it online.  

OP,  I think this will likely be my last post on this blog.  In your (understandable) grief, I believe you are clinging to some ideas that are not realistic.  You have gotten a LOT of good advice from the folks here on Stalk.. advice that you should carefully consider.

But legally, it appears you have no valid grounds to fight your SD on the eviction from the home that SHE owns.

You CAN be evicted in the winter... the fact that you are pregnant and a widow? Again.. no legal grounds .. you are just hoping a judge will take pity on you.  Well.. the judge can just as easily take pity on the SD who lost her father and was being taken advantage of for so many years.  Your Evil Stepmother past with her will erase any sympathy I am afraid.

You want her A%% to be bared for the public to see how "mean" she is.  Well.. guess what.. I doubt you get near the satisfaction you think you will.  Most of her relatives will STILL support her and feel you deserve it because of your prior treatment of her (or what they THINK you treated her like). So.. you will be making your kids suffer the trauma of being put out on the street... for nothing.

You DO have some resources and will be getting some resources in terms of social security fairly soon.  You may not be able to secure housing of the same level you currently have.. but you need to find SOMETHING.  Your kids do not deserve to be put out on the street. and YOU are the one that is making this situation a probability by refusing to deal with the reality and placing your ANGER at your SD above your children's best interest.

Yes.. you may have debt and owe money for the funeral.. but you need to make arrangements for this with them to come up with a payment plan instead of sending them money that you are going to need for your housing and children's care.

Yes, you are having a baby.. you need to apply for your state's health insurance program and It is almost 100% likely you will be able to have this baby with little to no out of pocket.. even if you DO have bills from it.. you can again call and put it on a payment plan.

Ultimately, you may find in a few months that you DO have to file for bankruptcy if your bills are too much and you have no way of paying them.  Bad credit isn't fun.. but from our perspective... you may not have that option

Because.. back to SD.  You can't make her do what you want... not emotionally and not legally.

I'm sorry for your loss and your predicament but you are NOT without options and the ability to make plans.  

Again, lots of great advice on here from everyone.. please take this bull by the horns and drag yourself out of the cesspool.  Your excuses are not going to make a difference in the outcome.. you DO have the power to change your situation..