Wake up!!!   I do not care that the year is 2019.  YOU are the adults.  These are your CHILDREN.  That's right.  Despite what society tries to tell you, society lies.  Children need our guidance, love and support and they may have great ideas or insights as they learn but every child is not some Dalai Lama.  They are NOT wise, they are NOT omniscient.  Oh wait ... they are NOT in charge!!  It is the role of the ADULT to set expectations, enforce rules, help them grow and succeed.  Laugh with them, enjoy them but for the love of all that is holy ... Be An ADULT.  Also, dear BIO spouses and partners, support us; we are your strongest allies.  Meet us half way.  We will come to you if you also come to us. 

OK had to get that off my chest.  Some of you have read my blog or posts and right or wrong to share openly, the lack of that last paragraph being understood turned me bitter and worn out over time.  Present work for me is to let loose of the 3,00 lb bag of frustration and regrets that I drug with me through time.  Hopefully at some point soon I will let go of that huge sack and grow and move forward to present day without the mind numbing effects of the past and past behaviors flooding in to disrupt the progress I am starting to see with my SS's  

If any of the others here are feeling worn out ... If you notice that you never had anger issues and now get angry/frustrated at the drop of a hat then there is hope.  You too may be carrying around baggage resulting from your Bio partner not treating you like their partner.  You can overcome and you can move forward.

But I digress.  BIO spouses/partners.  Why do you not see that your partner is trying to help make a home with you.  Please stop treating you Children (yes, no matter how old they are your Children) as if they have an equal say in how the household works (e.g. No, you cannot decide that leaving your room stack high with trash is acceptable and normal).  Please, Bios, stop acting like it does not matter.  You may not realize it but you are making your partner feel devalued and Not your partner.  As I said, I am married to a wonderful woman and she is my soulemate.  It is just that I stopped fighting for what I needed and paid as a result.  Should have stayed in that fight until there really was no other option.

So just Stop it Bios.  YES, We made the choice to accept the blended family changes.  Don't forget that You, the Bio ALSO chose to make changes for a blended family.  This means YOU accepted to establish a new household with your SPOUSE/PARTNER and your children.  It does NOT meant that we, the incoming step chose to setup a house with You and your children as one side and us as the lesser lopside. 

BIOS --- Look at Nature.  In a wolf pack, there is an Alpha male and an Alpha female.  There is NOT an Alpha pup who takes over the den.  Stop being a Conierge, Stop harming your own children by babying them.  Be the Parent and the partner.