**IT'S A LONG ONE! But could use some feedback**

To start, my 7yr old son lives with his Dad during the week, and with me on the weekends (we have swapped a couple times prior due to jobs, my schooling, etc.). Since our breakup~7yrs ago, we have been civil, friendly, fair with split custody, sharing medical and daycare bills, etc. We even went to funtown with him, his wife and her kids. All of this with absolutely NO legal involvement.

His wife of 3 years has two boys, 11 and 6 who stay with there father half the week, and with her half. My son grew to love both boys and they got along great when they were together.

At the end of summer 2019, the 11yr old was coming to live with his mom, my ex and my son. They started school together and everything seemed fine. My son was always so happy to see me come Friday, and we would have great weekends. His behavior was pretty normal except he started not wanting to be on a floor or room of the house alone (at night time). He has also woken up in the middle of the night a few times, once with a nightmare, which he never used to do.

I never worried about a thing up until Oct. 12th this year. His SM pulled me aside at a soccer game to mention an odd incident. Her Son and my son have 2 diff bedrooms but my son's room has 2 beds for when his younger sb comes to stay.

One night she said the boys wanted to wear their footie Pjs and watch a movie in my son's room, which she thought was sweet. Later on she noticed the door was closed and when she went to check in, they were both in the same bed, under the blankets and my son's pjs were unzipped with entire bottom half of his body hanging out and no underwear on. When she asked why he was half naked he said they come unzipped from rolling around in his sleep too much.

She suggested I have a talk with my son about body privacy and she would do the same with her son. She then proceeded to tell me that her son was molested by another kid near his age when he was 5 and needed couseling. (I found out later that the other boy had made him put his genitals in his mouth--witnessed by a neighbor).

That weekend I tried to figure out how to start a convo with my son about it...but I didn't have to initiate anything, he spilled the beans on his own while in the car with my husband (his SD) and I. So. We we're driving back from my grams and he was making typical boy butt and poop jokes.

Then he said:
This one time, SB came into my room and just sat on my bed when I was sleeping.
Me: He just sat on your bed?
A: Yeah. Well he sat on top of me...butt naked!!
Me: (trying to keep it light hearted) What? Really? Why would he do that?!
A: I don't know! And awkwardly laughed.
Me: Well what did you do??
A: I just kept snoozin'! He told me the next day that he did it and then he said 'well next time I do it I won't tell you.'

I asked him if he has ever touched him in a weird way and he said yes. And I asked like your private parts and he said "Yes, sometimes he does when I'm sleeping. And I know hes doing it but im like stuck in a dream and don't wake up all the way."

He also mentioned that SB has been bullying him on the bus, calling him names, punched him in the arm and won't share toys at home. He was very confused and sad that they weren't close like they use to be. I didn't ask anymore questions, didn't want to pry, but my husband and I geatly praised him for being brave and telling us, and that what SB did was wrong and he himself did not do anything bad at all. He followed that with a smirk of relief and said "I love you guys".

*I obviously had to tell his SM and Dad. SM was heartbroken and said she would get ahold of SB counselor. His Dad, whom I though would be on the same page as me, reacted AWFULLY. He was more upset that my son told Me and not Him than the report itself and that he probably just made it up to get attention from me because he doesn't see me that much. He then said things like "Chill out, stop WebMDing this (child abuse victims becoming offenders), I'll handle it."

His dad then proceeded to pretty much INTERROGATE both kids TOGETHER! They both admitted to the bullying on the bus but no weird bedtime stuff. His dad messaged me later that night and said he handled it, he threatened SB that he would break his hands if he touched our son like that and that we can all just move on now.

I went that entire week barely eating or sleeping. I couldn't even focus at work. When I saw him that next weekend I decided to Carefully bring it up one more time (in which I was EXPECTING him to now Deny it because his Dad intimidated him and he doesn't want to get his sb in trouble especially after his Dad threatened him).

That next weekend, I asked why he didn't tell his Dad what he told me, and sure enough he started back pedaling. "Oh yeah. I think that was just a dream. Yeah, mom.  I accidentally forgot that it was a dream and I thought it was real." I told him he could always talk to me and tell the truth and that I had believed him when he disclosed it. I left it at that.

The past few weeks I have been stressing about what to do. I was not OK with how my ex "handled things" and just swept it all under the rug. Did he even believe his son? For a second? He had told me I was overreacting and made me feel crazy.

It was then I realized that I needed do get him out of that house. So with potential plans of having him with me and hubs, we chatted about moving bedrooms around and even took a tour of a GORGEOUS, state of the art, progressive school in our town. Compared to his current school up in the sticks that's less than average.

Having ZERO clue what to do next, I called the Child Abuse hotline and explained my story. They said I could either a. Propose that he stay with me during the week without outside involvement, b. Call a lawyer for weekly custody without having to mention the abuse (less messy) or c. Report the abuse to law enforcement.

I chose a. and told my ex I wanted to switch our days with him, if not I may have to get others involved. He adamantly said absolutely not, that we don't even know what happened, that he doesn't need to be uprooted because I want to see him more often (which for some reason this is what he thought the main reasoning was....smh) and that I would change/ruin his life.

I was nice at first but then let it all go, asking rhetorical questions and basically trying to make him realize how much of a heartless asshole he was. He said he didn't want to argue and that we will 'have to plan a sit down with all of us--including the KIDS and get to the bottom of it once and for all.'

I ended it with telling him I am NOT asking my son about this anymore and that I know what I heard that day. The embarrassment, confusion and TRUTH in his voice when he disclosed it and the look of relief on his face after we showed our support for him.

***CONCLUSION***

After mulling it over again and again, and reading stories on this website, I have decided to fight the fight, make it ugly and file a report. I'm going to call local CPS tomorrow and go from there.

I know people are going to be angry. My ex's mother sent me a friend request on FB and I know it's in regards to me wanting to take my son. My gut is telling me this is RIGHT. Save my baby no matter what.

>>MY BIGGEST FEAR IS THAT THEY DROP THE CASE DUE TO MY SON'S NORMAL/UNAFFECTED BEHAVIOR OR HE WILL BE SCARED AND DENY IT AGAIN. IS THERE ANYTHING I CAN SAY TO HIM TO ENSURE HE TELLS THE TRUTH??<<

Thank you for reading. Thoughts, opinions and advice are welcome.