We had a thread on this before - it seems multi-factorial, but yes, there are many more young adults living home with parents - I've read something like 25% of 18-34 year-olds still live with their parents. 

Many factors - the economy, student loans, housing prices, and yes, helicopter parenting. 

My SS19 lives with BM and is doing NOTHING right now. No job, no college, nada.  But DH didn't create that, BM did. 

There's a family he knows and the daughter (now in her late 20s/early 30s) is what my dad has diagnosed as "highly indulgent" of herself. The daughter gives herself every excuse, if she is uncomfortable it must be painful, she doesn't do well with X, Y or Z, has to have things certain ways, thinks highly of herself. I told my dad he just described a classic narcissist.

His opinion is that she was raised to be this way with some DNA thrown in to make it stick. She was not held to rules, she was indulged so she learned to indulge herself, she was handed excuses so she learned to use excuses rather than work things out or take responsibility.

He commented on how my brother and I were very ready to fly the coop. Sure! Because we were held responsible and had things expected of us and as we got older we wanted to "have our own rules" so were ready to leave to establish those for ourselves. If there are no rules, why would anyone leave to try to implement their own? How would anyone know what that looked like if it wasn't part of growing up?

First, I had an aunt that was super babied and never really grew up all the way. Partially because of mental health issues also, but she was extremely coddled and excused made, etc. My SIL is less extreme but similar and MIL acts like SIL is still a little kid that needs rescuing instead of a 32 year old woman with 2 kids. So its always happened, but I do think it's more common now. 

I agree with all the factors listed above. I think the change in the last decade is social media and how the message that "children always come first" and "children and are still your children after they leave" is so much more easily spread. I mean before you wouldnt just randomly see a meme of that while sitting at home or be able to see 12000 people's opinions on the matter. Not to mention people are much more outspoken on their opinions behind a keyboard than face to face. AND in addition to that you didnt have people portraying themselves as MOTY every second of the day because how else would you tell 300 people at a time that you're so wonderful for every little thing you do "for the kids" and immediately have a bunch of people validating you for it.

I mean I'm speculating on that because I'm 30 so social media has been there my entire adulthood, but I would guess things were different before that

I studied economics in college, which is essentially the study of causality. For example, quantifying the effect thing x has on thing y, given certain external factors.

So, because this is a topic I can actually relate to (vs the supply demand curves of widgets), I think it merits some in depth discussions. Today, for casual reading, Ive been researching Divorce Statistics. Yep. And history of divorce. What causes divorce, what percentage of people divorce in what age groups. As well as current trends in marriages and divorces. FASCINATING stuff.

So - the issue we are discussing, is parenting and its affect on children and young adults today vs previous generations. Parenting "styles" that create humans that are dependent and degenerate, lazy and crazy and all kinds of stoopid.

Is it nature or nuture others would ask.

I have found that asking the right questions is vital in how the answers come out. Making assumptions is part of the game. Assuming two sets of kids, male/female, and two sets of divorced parents, what factors generate 4 sets of possible outcomes. Sort of like game theory!!!!

i have no bios - so its tough for me, I am an "outside observer". This is my first marriage. I am over 50.

DH - he has come from a large close family where his parents never divorced - his mother is widowed. He pursued some college and did very well in high school, was in sports. Very stoic, hardworking, like his parents.

Toxic Troll - her parents are divorced, she has a stepmother, her bio mother abused substances, she has a sister who was homeless and on drugs had children taken away. Dropped out of high school. Overweight. Complains constantly of all types of ailments, lazy, dirty, temper rages.

Their children:

SD20, since Ive known her she has been lazy, mean, rude and dirty. BARELY graduated high school, no college plans, no license, no job. Very few friends. She is narcisistic personality disordered. She has temper rages. She lies and steals.

SD13, very smart, great in school wrt grades. Happy, nice respectful. Excited about getting a job. And driving a car. Shes honest and concientious. Even tempered.

Whats the difference between these two? Same parents, same parenting, same DNA.

The difference is a few things: SD20 spent the bigger part of her life with an intact family, and lived in that dysfunction a REALLY LONG TIME. Shes bonded very closely with her mother.

SD13 was really young, Ive been in her life 5.5 years. She has seen what a happy stable marriage/partnership looks like. She and I are close in personality so we have bonded. She really likes what Im about. WE do things together, she has accepted me as family, has accepted my parenting.

Dh is not a guilty disney dad - if SD13 does something wrong he will yell at her, or give repercussions (him being mad at her is repercussio enough!). She is required to help out. Required to get good grades, not miss school.

SD20  was always taken to doctors (attention), always allowed to get away with things (no repercussions for stealing and lies). Her mother allows her to not do anything and not have a job and allows the disrespect to continue. BM continues to support SD20, with no exectations that she better herself and no repercussions. There has been zero discipline except to 5150 her when she threatened suicide mulitpl times in response to being asked to clean her room at BMs gnarly apartment. She is also emotionally stunted, has the emotional maturity of a 12 yo. Like her mother actually.

So - several factors, including parenting, parental alienation, parental background, parental bonding create the utter chaos we are experiencing in Steplandia.

Such an interesting topic!

I think it's part parenting, and part economy. When the cost of living has risen and the minimum wage has stayed the same it makes it really hard for these young adults to just fly the coop and live out there on their own.

My BS works a full time job being trained for a profession that will eventually make good money. Right now he lives with four roommates and they are planning on taking on a 5th roommate to alleviate the stress of the monthly rent and bills. BS is also attending college part time as it's part of the apprenticeship.

He's holding his own but barely has much left over at the end of the day. We are there to help him if need be, but he's working a full time government job and can barely manage with 4 soon to be 5 roommates.

I often wonder what kind of salary ss would need to be on in future to live the lifestyle he's come to expect. He's not clever enough and never will be to warrant a big one. Can only hope step father across the way will let him work in his martial arts business or something or otherwise he's set for a big fall 

As my grandparents generation were all ones that had an experience of WW2 in some shape or form, that meant for a couple of decades afterwards work ethic was very different and less people went to college. My parents ‘had to’ get jobs because their parents made them. Therefore - we had to get jobs because our parents made us. There was a sink or swim urgency to it as we didn’t have the luxury’s that we have today. Ones prized possession might have been a tv but that was about it. Not everyone had cars. No mobile phones, no pcs, people didn’t go out all that often (except to the pub...)

Now there are lots of luxuries, and plenty food on the table. Teenagers don’t believe people will starve if they don’t get a job. Starvation was a major motivating factor for my stepdad getting his first job at 16 because his dad had died and it meant his mum had been left to bring up 5 kids on her own. 

No major motivating factors to leave and get a job = kids staying at home longer.  They can’t ‘visualise’ what it’s like to go without therefore, some of them don’t care.