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OT - One Year

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I'm in the feels today. Today officially marks one year since H came clean about "everything."

There's not much more to it.  He was leaving for work, came back instead of going in, called and said he needed to "fix something."  Then we went out to the garage, and he lied initially. Said he had "just been flirting with this girl on an Instagram I didn't know about..." Then everything else slowly came out over the duration of that date and the days following.

One year.  And it sucks.

Comments

hereiam's picture

Jesus, he even lied when he was "coming clean". What a douche.

Sorry you are going through this.

lieutenant_dad's picture

May he contract antibiotic-resistant gonorrhea and a plethora of genital warts that never go away.

PA, I have few people on my "people I loathe" list, but this POS has earned a permanent spot near the top.

Livingoutloud's picture

I do hope you got rid of him. It would be the best New Year resolution

He likely confessed in a hury because he was afraid you’ll find it out from someone else (someone saw him or heard him and knew he had an affair) or the girl threatened to tell you or he worried she would.

I bet that’s what happened. He didn’t confess because of some honorable reason. If he did he’d be exceptionally nice to you now but he is same or worse jerk now.

He seems angry. Likely angry that he had to confess his affair and that he currently cannot cheat because you installed app or some other tracking device on his phone to know where he is at 24/7. Then you moved out and he now has less help with the kids (although you still babysit them). So he is mad about that 

The guy is officially the worst one on here. 

Aniki-Moderator's picture

This type of "anniversary" SUCKS. But not as much as your H and all of his f*ckery. I'm sorry, sweetness. 

Consider this:

  • He is still being a jerk and trying to gulit/manipulate you into doing what HE wants
  • He has gotten worse with his verbal and mental abuse because you refuse to fit into his craptastic mold and "come home"
  • He cannot follow the direction of the therapist and HOUNDS you, trying to hurt you and make you feel guilty because YOU are trying to fix things - and he does not believe anything needs fixing (he is SO wrong!)
  • He tries to make you believe that the teeny-weeny "changes" he's made actually amount to something when we all know that he will quickly revert to his typcal asshattery if you go back.

PA, you have a therapist who has finally opened your eyes to the fact that you have been getting the VERY short end of the stick and is teaching you to realize your own self-worth. You deserve far more than this petulant, manipulative man-child can ever give you and YOU KNOW IT. You are beautiful, wonderful, kind-hearted, and loving and you should have someone who values you for the gem you are. xoxo

thinkthrice's picture

becomes merry and bright by DUMPING his pathetic ARSE!!

queensway's picture

I want you to look at yourself in the mirror every morning  and say I am better than this sh!t. Because frankly you are. You just don't see it or know it yet. But in 2020 you are going to see it and you are going to come alive!!! And this man (a hole) is not going to know what hit his a$$$$$$$. So happy new year, IT is going to be a good one.XO

Siemprematahari's picture

PA I know it sucks and I'm sure it hurts. I can't even begin to imagine the things he didn't tell you about. Either way keep moving forward with your therapy and hope this New Year brings you much strength, clarity and most of all healing. 

advice.only2's picture

Celebrate that your are a strong independent woman who has her whole life ahead of her and so many choices and options available to you.  Stop wasting head space over this guy, I mean really is he even worth it?

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

I talked about that with the counselor as well.. .I have a lot of mental blockers right now...  So while I recognize them. She's helping me work through stuff in individual sessions too :)  I like her.

DPW's picture

Oh, PA... how I adore you and want what is best for you, always.

I really think it's over. But you must go no contact with him. He'll keep sucking you back in as he is doing now. Take a break from him, allow yourself some space to breathe and you'll see clearly that this is all wrong for you. 

xo

Aniki-Moderator's picture

No Contact really is key. But he calls her incessantly and she takes the calls and of that BS he spews. Sad

bananaseedo's picture

I wonder what would happen if during a therapy session you bring up you want a two week no-contact period. Nothing, no calls, no babysitting, no dates, no texts...see if he respects that.  That will give YOU time to clear your head. Also to emphasize how contolling he is as I'm sure he won't respect it.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Bananaseedo, I think everyone on this board knows that Tripolar would find it 110% impossible to leave PA alone. Not because he has no respect for her, but because he's scared that 2 weeks of NO contact would allow PA to crawl out from under his control rock, disintegrate those rose-colored glasses, and RUN to the lawyer to file for divorce ASAP.

ndc's picture

I think you should make this date next year the first anniversary of the day you removed this lying, cheating, gaslighting, controlling, manipulative, abusive, user POS from your life permanently.