I have been with my husband for 20 years. (He was actually my high school/college sweetheart; we broke up; had no contact for 22 years; married others and had families; and then found each other again.) We will be married 15 years this year. His daughter is 40 and he has 30 year old twin sons. All were horrible to me right from the start, although one of the twins came around after a few years. 

A tradition I had with my children that my husband wanted for his kids was Christmas stockings. Of course, that is in addition to gifts. But husband never quite got the concept of "stocking stuffers." Although I do all the shopping, under his direction of what to get for his kids I easily spend $30-$40 per stocking. Then there was the issue of what to do for come-and-go girlfriends. Husband did agree with me that someone had to be married into the family to get a stocking (although the girlfriends du jour would get a lovely gift.) Several years ago, the first year that the "came around" step-son was married, I had a filled stocking for his new wife. His twin brought a new gf over, and she was rather charmed with all the stockings hanging on my staircase. The new d-i-l loudly announced, "Don't hold your breath! I had to wait 5 years for mine!" Oh, needless to say...MY stocking is ALWAYS the one left empty.

The very same d-i-l (who, by the way, does not even celebrate Christmas) has a birthday on December 24. The Christmas I just referred to (when they were first married), as soon as they arrived, step-son pulled me aside and told me that his wife was furious with us because we didn't even call her for her birthday the day before. I explained that we knew that they were spending the day with his mother, that his father ALWAYS refused to intrude on his former wife's time with their children, we knew we were going to see d-i-l on Christmas, and I had a lovely birthday gift for her (monogrammed with her new initials, therefore proving that I had given it plenty of thought MONTHS before Christmas.) Apparently, that wasn't good enough.

This Christmas the other twin is still dating the same gf (although there is NO talk of engagement, etc., so she still has no stocking, but there was a lavish gift for her.) First problem...after the gifts were opened, unmarried twin threw a HUGE fit to his father that his gf didn't get ENOUGH gifts because she didn't have a stocking. Then, the morning after Christmas, father got a text from the long-divorced 40-year-old daughter who bitterly complained that her sister-in-law got more (remember, her 12/24 b'day present) and BETTER Christmas presents than she got! (Just for the record...I spent more on the step-daughter than anyone) and she was SOOO hurt!!

Final facts: Step-daughter's b'day was earlier in December. She got a large cash gift plus her father took her out for lunch. (He's retired, I'm still working...someone has to pay for all this!) Twins' b'day was at the start of January. We took them, plus the wife and gf, out for brunch. They got cash plus a gift each. Husband and I got the same Christmas gift from each of his 3 kids: a $50 gift card each purchased (according to the gift receipt included) between 1 PM and 6 PM on 12/24. My birthday was at the end of January and step-daughter didn't acknowledge it in ANY way (not even her usual "happy birthday" on Facebook), husband made the single twin wish me HB as an add-on to his own birthday greeting to me on FB (since ss unfriended me 10 years ago), and the married twin "HB" texted me. D-I-L??? Nada. Nada. Not even a telephone call!!! My husband doesn't want to hear about how sad this all makes me feel...but he DOES agree that this is THE END of filling the stockings. And, as for me, I'm just so glad Christmas, and all their birthdays are 10 months away. (But "Daddio's' 70th is coming up in May...I see nada in HIS future…)