Accused
My SS that 22 accused me last night. He said can you please stop looking at me you are making me feel uncomfortable. Then told my DH he said he talked to him and SS said that I made him uncomfortable the way I was looking at him and staring at him like that. I am so upset and crying I am not a pervert I never ever want any child to think I am looking at them like that. I'm so upset. What would you do in this situation? My family was over and when they heard him say that I was stunned and speechless and my family's eyes got big but then I changed the subject immediately I'm just so embarrassed that he said that I'm so upset too I never ever look at him in anyway inappropriately now I don't want to be around him I'm so upset. I just don't want to be around him such a strong accusation. I'm so upset.
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What would you do in this
What would you do in this situation?
Tell him to move out of my house, that's what.
I agree 100%!
I agree!
He needs to go. He clearly
He needs to go. He clearly has issues. Let's say he actually did think you were looking at him strangely. What kind of person at age 22 says that in front of extended family, as opposed to addressing it privately? One without any class or manners for sure. This is not a person who was raised the right way. Please try to stay away from him as much as you can. I'm sorry this happened to you.
Thank you!
Thank you I agree what kind of person does that I am totally staying away from him.
Well, if it were my narc SD20
Well, if it were my narc SD20, I would have known by now that she was only saying that to make me feel terrible and that it was no coincidence that it happened in front of people to make me feel even more embarrassed. It would have been an attack to socially break me down to make herself feel powerful. So I would have told the step that he should stop imagining that I was looking at him, that he was way off. Then I would disengage and try to minimize the power he had to impact my emotional health.
But I have the impression from your post that you still have hope (and remember how that was), and I am so sorry that this happened to you.
You are right! I agree!
I did still have hope your right now that hope been broken he still keep bringing it up to his dad how uncomfortable he is with me. DH has asked him to move out with a deadline phew. I don't even look his way or be in the same room as him.
Tell him to move out
So you will not be looking at him. It's your house, if he uncomfortable he should go to someplace where he's 100% comfortable. That may require him to get a JOB to pay for his comfort
Thank you all for your words and thoughts I appreciate it!
I agree 100%! I had hope he the only one that usually really helpful to me as a Step Kid, but now I see I was tricked yet again. Yes, he doesn't work. We pay for everything, and he is living off us for free. My DH says he will ask him to move out. Fingers crossed he does sooner than later. I have even treated him like a child of my own welcoming him and being there for him financially emotional and omg I was so stupid to think he thought of me like a stepmom now he accused me of this how horrible.
Tell your DH that he is not
Tell your DH that he is not going to ask his son to move out, he's going to tell him to and to do it by the end of the month.
SMH, the kid has a good gig going, he's not going to politely leave just because he was asked.
Yeah asking him to move out implies
Option of staying...
if my husband was there when ss made an allegation like that, I would have told him “I wasn’t looking at you but your hot dad, he’s all kinds of sexy” then wink at hubby.
why not gross this skid to bits knowing stepmum and bio dad are getting all kinds of sexy on, might traumatize him enough to move out
LOL hahaha I agree 100%
I love the idea about tell him and give a deadline. I appreciate the words of advice. Will do.
Twenty-two years old and
Twenty-two years old and doesn't work? Just sponging off of you and his dad? What is wrong with your husband?
Remember ss here is a cod
The world gotta feel sorry for the poor kid (i mean adult) and not be too hard on him or he might cry...
Right!
He felt bad for him losing his job over and over. Yes he need to let the young man grow up.
What is up with all these
What is up with all these parents who allow their adult kids to sponge off of them? OP, make sure your DH follows through on making him move out. My guess is he won't.
I agree 100%!
Thank you I agree 100%! Good ideas here I really like the one about giving a deadline. This is a good idea. Thank you all! DH promise he will have him move out.
"I can see why you would be
"I can see why you would be confused SS. This is not a look of desire, but one of disgust. That is probably why you are still single and sponging off of your dad and I, you don't know when a woman is disgusted. Just remember, when I look at you, it is always with disgust."
LOL hahaha I agree 100%
Lol right! Thank you for sharing!