Runaway SD15
I wrote earlier about how SD15 was a runaway and staying with her older sister who is rumored to be a prostitute. Today, DH called the school (he had called them previously to report that SD15 was a runaway) to see if she showed up for school and she had, but the school did not call us. DH asks if the school can detain her until he arrives to pick her up. They agree and send a police officer to speak with SD15 and DH.
However, when DH returns home, he does not have SD15. SD15 stated that she does not want to come home. The officer told her to ride the bus home and SD15 said, "What if I don't?" And the officer said, "then it's the same thing tomorrow until you do."
SD15 did not ride the bus home this afternoon (I didn't think she would but I think DH was hopeful).
DH reported back to me that SD15 blames ME (of course she does, I'm hip to her bullsh*t and call her out on it). I told DH, fine. If she comes back I'm 100% done with her. You are responsible for everything as far as she is concerned. And you know what he said?! "We are married and she's your responsibility, too." I laughed in his face. That brat IS NOT my responsibility, especially not now.
Now DH is having an attitude with me, taking his frustrations out on me, and getting mad at me because I suggested he spend some time with SD10. He complained he was TIRED (boohoo, because he works nights and had to get up to go to the school and deal with SD15, which is obviously not my fault or SD10's fault). And he isn't even going to work tonight.
SD15 called after school and told DH that she was going to continue to stay with her sister. So now DH has to RE-report her as a runaway (the cop that came to the school took her off because she said she would take the bus home).
Can you send a repeat runaway to juvenile detention? I live in Washington state if that makes a difference.
Daddy needs to keep reporting
Daddy needs to keep reporting her and having the police start to actually detain her, get her before a Judge and expose her exposure to big sis's prostitution. The Judge may just send her to a remote adjudicated juvenile residential school where she will learn what hell and having someone hip deep up her ass is really like.
You could also consider Miitary Boarding School where the young Cadet leaders will chew her up and spit her out a well adjusted high performing spit and polished young adult... who will start trembling when anyone in authority barks at her for any bullshit she may occassionally pull.
Or, daddy can just write her off and let the prostitute finish raising her.
Which I would not recommend.
I pretty much told him this.
He didn't want to hear it. I'm so done trying to convince this guy that it's an endless shit cycle with his kids. I also told him, you had kids young, your BMs had kids young, YOUR kids are having kids young... When will this end?! I was trying to break the cycle at SD10, but not if he wants me to be the sole raiser of his kids! I'm effing done. Especially since he treats SD15 like a princess and, from what I heard, treated this half sister kid like a princess when SHE lived with him. Oh, no. I will not have this perpetual cycle of white trash continue.
He doesn't want
To dole out the discipline and he wants either me or the state to do his dirty work! What the hell, dude? You created this white trash princess, YOU raise it and its offspring.
Disengage, not your problem
Disengage, not your problem and not your job to raise either of his kids. If SD10 is a decent kid, decide what you will and won't do for her - but don't do anything for SD15. Let him deal with her entirely.
Most areas, I assume, have services to help with runaway kids. Have the police directed him to any of those? But anyway - not your problem - let him figure it out.
I honestly think he said what
I honestly think he said what he said because he's in way over his head with this kid...a product of his own doing because he always let her get away with murder. But instead of asking for help like a normal person, he decided to tell me it was my obligation... And... No. That's the quickest way to get me to NOT do something, especially something that I'm not actually obligated to do. I have done more than enough for that girl and she has been nothing but entitled and unappreciative.
You should see his face when everyone he tries to complain to says, "Good for her!" when he tells them about my refusal to do anything for SD15 and then when they ask the follow-up question: "What are you going to do when she comes home pregnant?"
Priceless, because I've been warning him about this exact situation for YEARS now and he had "not MY kid" syndrome.