I got the talk to the skids. WIthout any involvement from the s***head.  His mom actually called. She has the girls the majority of the time (shocking I know) and said they missed me and wanted to talk to me.  I talked to them for a bit, averyone came away happy, I didn't have to talk to the ex at all. So there was no stress. I've mostly blocked the ex on stuff at this point, and my stress levels are WAY down.

I'm debating life, I think I've decided I'm going to stay here a bit, just while I pay down some of the debt I got stuck with, probably get some kind of second job, and then after that's gone, the world is my oyster and all that.

The pups are happy and getting the attention and training they've deserved for so long (already seeing huge improvements in the baby), I've bought tons more house plants and they're thriving, I'm doing more of what I like, cooking, gaming, exercising, rescuing the lost cause plants that are on sale (lol), painting stuff for my sister's nursury, etc.

Once this whole plague thing finally blows over (which I'm confident it will! Optimism is key. lol) I'm finally going to go out and do some stuff for me.  And go visit family for a week with my pups just because.

For anyone in a bad situation.  I KNOW it's hard to get out, hard to rationalize the lost years, hard to walk away when you do love them regardless of all the crap. But it really does wonders for your stress levels and it's worth it in my opinion.

I still have a lot of growing to do, and I admit today is one of the better days mentality wise (there have been some awful ones). But after I've healed up and figured out myself again, I think things are going to be so much better.

Just a positive update to help cut through the plague-vibe. lol