Sorry you are dealing with this. Your feelings are normal. You are treated more like the child and sd is treated like the wife. Your dh is willing to sacrifice for his daughter but not for his wife. It is like being married to someone who has another woman on the side.

Again, your feelings are normal

Are you working on getting out of this soul sucking relationship? You have been unhappy for quite awhile, you know that you need to get out.

slowly kills it. It's like a pesticide sprayed on a plant. The first day, it wilts a little bit, the next day it wilts more, then it starts dying and turning brown, soon it is unrecognizable and looks nothing like it once did, because it's no longer what it once was, but rather, a remnant or shell of what it used to be.

I'm very sorry for your situation, however, I can completely relate and understand.

Lack of, and refusing to implement  boundaries is in effect the "marital pesticide" that is inflicted upon many of us. We try to be positive, uplifting, and get out and have fun. If DH isn't on board, we cannot put him there. He has to WANT TO BE ON BOARD, just like he wants to be on board with his offspring.

What does he say when you talk to him about it? I'm sure he gets defensive, they all do.

We are fighting the SD demon also. She has hugely crossed lines that never should've been permitted, but HE ALLOWED her to confront us for almost an hour, screaming like a banshee, and he did absolutely NOTHIING then, or afterward. He says he did, but that is just more of the playing both sides of the fence. I know if he won't set boundaries with BM then he can in no way do it with SD, especially since he said, "How can I call her, when all she's going to do is start screaming and never give me a chance to talk?" So our huge battle is trying to get him to create healthy boundaries for our marriage to keep her at bay.

I know I visited with a lady who was the "evil SD" and she told me, "You know, I hated my dad's wife because he divorced my mother, and I never had my dad full-time, but she did, and I hated her for it, and I set out to make their lives miserable." She told me her father finally had enough, after several years, and HE CUT HER OFF, telling her "enough is enough, and until you can grow up and recognize your role in all of this, I want nothing to do with you." He gave everything he owned to his wife, and that was another bone of contention. Well, she told me for 8 years he did not speak to her, did not send cards at Christmas, nor on her birthday. She explained, "Because of his firmness, and refusal to backslide and allow me back in, I learned I had to have introspection and look at what I had done to bring all this about. I reached out to my father, and sincerely apologized to him and SM for what I had done." So, that's an excellent example of a dad who has his act together. We can all only pray for that type of clarity.

My heart is with you.

It's inconceivable to me that anyone could be in love with the scenario you've described. I think I would be turned off by all the laying around and lazy approach to our relationship alone; I wouldn't even need the SK drama to lose respect for this man. 

On this site, I feel the need to say this in response to 90% of the posts: you teach people how to treat you. So if you're with someone who doesn't make you feel special and doesn't make you the priority and you hang around for more, that's on you. Hope you decide to do better.

Not loving him will make it easier to leave him - which is something you should consider doing. You haven't been happy for a long time and I don't see him changing or trying in any way to make things better.

Who can blame you for feeling this way.....You are valid in your feelings and surprised you didn't leave sooner. You have fallen out of love with him, now love yourself enough to free yourself from this toxic marriage. You owe yourself that.

Wishing you peace, light and the strength to live your life on your terms.

No surprises there then...it sounds like the pregnancy was just a matter of time.

Don't continue to sacrifice yourself for this asshole. And I'm a man.

Equity life partnership does not include one partner taking toxic advantage of the other.   Equity partners are a team. There is no team in what you describe.

My bride has taken the lead in earning and supporting our marriage on two occasions due to industry changes that have impacted my career.  The last 13 months is the second time she has been the sole earner.  I clean, I do the grocery shopping and the cooking.  Not always to her standards ..... but..... I for sure don't lay on the couch doing absolutely nothing.

Take care of you.

I've often wondered if i will end up in the situation you just described because i'm half way there. I hope you can turn it around because it sounds like you've been fighting for your marraiage for a long time and i'd hate to see you lose that time and effort now that you can enjoy your husband without most of the other crap. Maybe a good counselor could open his eyes. Good luck to you

You have done all you can, this seems to be the same old story. Like really, I'm yet to read a positive outcome where someone's life miraculously turned around from this nightmare. Every stepparent is just settling for less than they deserve. This is classic. Save yourself. The rest of us won't be far away. There is a new life waiting for you! 

hubby would take off for a whole day with skids knowing full well i was busy at home with university studies and 2 toddlers. He met skids for lunch, left home 11am and gets back at 8pm. He certainly didn’t come home to a happy wife. Did he even bother to buy anything for me knowing already how busy i would be? Of course not!!

i cooked for me and my 2 toddlers and went to bed. My husband did this another time or 2 before it was nipped in the bud... i stopped the double standards here because he makes life so easy for precious skids but his wife, its like i had to struggle and fend for myself...