Thousands of little things
I am convinced that the reason heterosexual males when divorced or widowed go into a deep depression is because of the thousands of little things their spouse/SO/ partner accomplished everyday to make life more enjoyable.
Myriads of chores, errands, to do lists that keep the household running, especially if there is a small business or child care involved are often overwhelming yet done with grace and ease by the female but often taken for granted until the guy has to do it himself. Not realizing in actuality how many things have to be done to make a household run smoothly.
I find myself ruminating on this as Chef takes off to do some work while I am prepping the house to leave and doing multitudinous tiny tasks which takes me quite a bit longer to leave the house. This is often frustrating to the male not realizing the reason behind it.
JMO
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I agree! My mom went on a
I agree! My mom went on a trip once with her best friend when my siblings and I were young. My dad learned a lot that week and darn near 30 yrs later he is still teased about what a disaster he was. I think every mom should do that at least once! make sure you are appreciated!
I so feel this to my core
DH has no idea the amount of work it takes to run this household. Irritates me to no end...plus he has the ability to ignore things like laundry baskets sitting for days.
For me, the DOING is the easy
For me, the DOING is the easy part. The mental exhaustion having to think about and worry about every little thing is the worst part. Men have no idea.
Yes, the planning and
Yes, the planning and checking and reminding is the worst. Also, the ignoring of repeated reminders or the last minute requests for information that you have previously shared and/or the other person should be able to get themselves.
Add to that, the frustration
Add to that, the frustration of the childfree stepmom at having to take over such duties for stepkids. I've told DH that I'm not doing any of that next year. I'm not going to make sure that SSs have clothes or ski gear that fits. They are teens, they can figure that out on their own. I'm not going to buy ski passes or make travel plans for anyone other than myself. When we go somewhere, I'm not going to be the one reminding everyone what to bring...or bringing it for them. I'm done. To make matters worse for me, BM doesn't even keep track of all these things, leading to lots of last minute rushing around. I'm so not a "last minute" person, so I'll be darned if I'm going to drop everything and rush around because a mother forgot something for her child who is not mine.
YES!!
I had this conversation with DH last year. When we would go camping I would have to buy all the food and supplies and anticipate everyone's requests. I would have to pack all towels clothing and essentials, water, etc and pack up the pets as well as their necessities. But only after making sure all the chores at home were done like trash taken out and dirty dishes done.
I would show up at the camper (DH would
go straight from work) and be exhausting while DH complained about me taking so long to get there. I was livid. So I stopped remembering his things and only packed for myself.
Once when we were all going
Once when we were all going to the family cabin, I told DH that he was in charge of making sure that he have everything for himself and SSs. I pack my things and then DH puts a bunch of things in the car. We get to the cabin and either DH or one of the SSs says, "where's x?" I replied, "I don't know, I wasn't in charge of bringing that." Now, DH has gotten better about at least remembering what he wants and needs. SSs are hopeless, but I don't make that my concern.
I remember
my dad sitting in the parking area honking his horn at my mom albeit SAHM getting me and sis ready for church 2 nights a week.
It goes back to
Our hunter gatherer days. We females , the gathers, had to pay attention to details--which plants were safe to eat, where they grew, when was the best time to eat them, all the while watching out for predators and caring for our offspring. We are programmed to care about the details.
My DH still doesn't get all the planning and prep it takes to get a holiday meal on the table or that when my grandson is here he can't stir the pasta with the same spoon he uses for the sauce due to food allergies. He thinks I micromanage, I think I manage to survive.
I agree! However, I do
I agree! However, I do believe that sometimes we, as women, do not ask for enough help. BUT, it is because they will never do it right...LOL. Although, I get upset every year on my birthday and Mother's Day becasue I have to literally "prep" the entire day before so I don't have any chores the actual day of. I am not doing any less work than usual, just more on one day. smdh