I don't have pics of my little skids on my facebook page and they live with us. I have pics of them from when DH and I were dating and we actually did stuff together and when it comes up on my memories, I delete it. I really don't need any more reminders of them. Those with no stepkids will never understand. I was just saying on my post about the book I'm writing about a step mom with two step kids and an ours baby.  Those who are not step moms will think it is not realistic. Step mom will read on and nod their heads in agreement.

Why in the world is your friend concerned enough about the contents of your social media to even mention it?  I swear, stepparents just cannot win.  If you had pictures of the skid on your social media, someone would probably think that you were infringing on the BM's territory and therefore wrong.

I totally understand why you don't want to post pictures of your SD.  Just ignore anyone who gives you grief about it, because they clearly DO NOT understand.

"Friend, you don't understand and this is clearly a topic we cannot talk about, so I'm no longer going to talk about it."

And if you did have pictures of her on your social media then they'd say you were overstepping and it's not your right.

I don't keep pictures of my SD on my social media, in my phone, in my house (except the few my husband came with). 

I have Munchkin SD14 all over my social media. Feral Forger SD21 - 1 photo, maybe 2. Its almost like she doesnt exist.

Your friend is in desperate need of a hobby. 

One of the biggest challenges of being a step-parent or in a "blended" situation is dealing with people who are not in these situations, but think that their "opinions" should carry any weight. Basically, if you are not in this situation, you have no idea what is right and what isn't. I fight this battle all the time with DH's family who has lots of opinions on how DH falls short and what he and I "should" be doing. Conversely, I think DH's brother is doing his kids a disservice in a variety of ways, but it's really none of my business and because brother is still married to the mother of his children, it's assumed that whatever he is doing is what is best. In their mind, however, DH has somehow forfeited his right to parent as he sees fit...and I have forfeited my ability to be a person in my own life. 

Why does your "friend" even feel the need to have an opinion on your social media? 

I don't know that I'd care to be her friend anymore.  I have never once posted a picture of my SS. I wasn't giving BM anything to bitch about.

oh, most people know about my situation and know I don't like to discuss it much.

One friend, who was YSD's "Troublesome Friends" mother, just could NOT get it. "Just say X" or "Just tell her/tell DH Y" or "I don't understand why you don't just XYZ" or "Can you tell DH to ABC with YSD?"  ....I had to keep repeating that I had no parenting power AT ALL. She couldn't understand. She's better now, mostly just dumbfounded. Her husband got it pretty quick though (he's a fairly involved dad) and to this day tells me, "Man, I wish you had more say with those kids, they'd be so much better off."

My aunt does.not.get.it. She is a super nice person who is shocked all the time with mean people or people who do things outside her world view. She also had a horrid, alchoholic, mean SM. I met the woman - she was a nutjob. So if I say anything the least bit critical of the SDs, "Just give them a chance" or "Give it time" or "Try doing X." Uh, no. And I just re-iterate again, "I'm not the parent, I have no say in the matter." Or "SDs are ok." And leave it at that.

One of my really good friends just was shocked, shocked that one of my (more distant friends who lived with her BF and his kids at the time, since over) friends and I were stunned to silence when she asked, "So do you love your kids?"  WTH?  "They aren't our kids." Well, "do you love them?" "It's complicated and I cannot say that I do in a parental way." She was just incredulous we didn't throw our arms open with flowers and rainbows and unicorns. And she's one of the Least Likely friends of mine to be that way with anyone. She's from an intact home too. She doesn't have kids either. I stil shock her to this day sometimes. "You don't live with it" is what she often gets.

My sister has been amazing on the other hand, as has another friend with a teen daughter (of whom i learned OSD used to pick on and thus hates OSD with a burning fire) both who give me good input from grounded minds - and both their daughters are overall great.

"Wow you sure have a lot of opinions for somebody who has never been in that situation?  Have you considered being a counselor??"

just giving a ha ha response...no offense against counselors. 

I have none of them on my social media.  I don't do pics around the main living area of our home either.  I did buy a frame which takes multiple photos and I put it up in the guest bedroom. 

I think it has room for 10 photos, I filled 5 of those with my family and me and DH. 

DH gave me one of him and his kids and one of his extended family and said "I'll sort through some more for you later"  That was several years ago.

And this is the thing, I never chased him for the photos because then he would've supplied them .... and so it has those little flower blank pics that came with the frame.  Far nicer.